world of warcraft noble garden holiday

Woot I finally am done with all the noblegarden achievements. I would've been done alot sooner but it seems my world of warcraft luck is just as bad as my luck in life. It took me forever to get the damn rabbit pet I needed for the one achievement...actually I never got it, I had to buy it with 100 chocolates. Also had to eat 100 chocolates for another achievement...so that was over 200 eggs I had to open total, took several hours for me. The first 2 days there were sooooo many people there camping the towns where the eggs spawned, thankfully yesterday there were less and today even less, made it alot faster. Kind of annoying though, everyone else I know was able to get the pet from an egg drop. Reminds me of the valentines day pet I wanted so badly(I'm a pet collecter) but never got. Ah well, least on the bright side everything else dropped for me from the eggs so I didn't need to get even more chocolates to buy stuff from the noblegarden vender.

Now for the next holiday, childrens week. Starting at midnight even before noblegarden ends lol. Noblegarden ends the day after it I think. Kind of annoying they have 2 holiday events so close together, but I guess next year it will probably be different. Noblegarden was supposed to be during easter but they failed at getting it ready in time. Anyway noblegarden will probably be easy compared to childrens week, the battleground achievements are gonna not only suck to get done because so many will be trying to do them(if you dont have good latancy or aren't super fast good luck returning that flag for the achievement),but they'll also make everyone act like noobs in the battlegrounds trying only to get their achievement done. Not to mention the bugs that I'm not sure they fixed with the daily quests. I swear, if my daily chores achievement gets reset when I'm 4/5 with it I'll scream.

Introduction And Hi

Hi. I made this diary in hopes that it would help fill the void of having no close friends. I often have things I want to rant about and the only people I have to rant to are online friends...none of which I'm close to. And sometimes I even have things I'm excited about :P

Anyway I suppose I should give some kind of intro because if you didn't think "boring" and automatically stop reading when I said the no close friends part you might actually be cool enough to deserve to know more about me :P Anyway what to say...I'm in my 20s and female, I live in the US. Thats pretty vague, I suppose part of me is worried about getting recognized on here...why I'm not sure, I honestly wouldn't care too much if I ended up typing my deepest thoughts here (edit: looks like I did do just that!) and someone I knew found it, I'm a pretty open person. Well I suppose I wouldn't want one of my enemys (and I have alot of those!) to find it and know I'm still hurt by them. But meh.

Why no close friends you're probably wondering...well I have this thing called social anxiety...but thats not really the reason. I've had bad luck with people. Everyone I've ever been close friends with and everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has ended up being either 1. a cheater 2. an insenstive jerk or 3. a compulsive liar. Alot of people with SA or who know of SA say that its irrational...well maybe for some of them it is...but for me my SA isn't irrational. Anyway my last 2 close friendships were both online and both ended very badly. I'm not sure which ended worse. The first 1 was with a guy named Rich and ended in January when I found out that his brother was reading just about everything we said to each other :( If that wasn't bad enough his asshole brother made a post on a forum about me talking bad about me saying I was a horrible player (we met on world of warcraft). I was confused as to why this person I didn't know (he posted it under a fake name) had so much venom towards me. So I looked at his guild tab and saw that he was in the same guild as the brother. I then asked Rich about it if that was his brother, he denied it non stop, even when I confronted him about well their in the same guild he still denied it was his brother. So then I googled the sig (it was a link of something with some words) and the sig came up in other posts under char names that I knew for a fact were his brother because I used to be friends with his brother too till he switched to horde. It was only then with undeniable proof that Rich finally confessed that yes that was his brother...but was he sorry for lying and telling me it wasn't or even sorry for what his brother said.........NO. Instead of apoligizing he blew it off as no big deal. That was the end of that friendship there. We haven't spoken since. And when we run into each other in Wow we pretend not to know each other. There was admitadly alot of other problems with that friendship as well, 1 being we had feelings for each other(at least I did...him I'm not so sure tho he claimed to) he had problems with me not working. He was far from understanding about my SA though he himself was shy. Anyway he kept saying he wanted us to be together but his parents would never let him travel that far. And he was 23. :/ I guess I just wasn't important enough for him to go against his parents.

The other one ended just as badly if not worse a little over a month ago. This guys name was Josh. I thought he was the only person who ever accepted me as I was without trying to change me. But he just ended up being the biggest fake ever. I found out he was lying about just about everything. I'm sure now he accepted me because he wasn't ever looking for anything close to a friend, he was looking for someone to dump on and abuse. He even threatened at times to kill himself if I wouldn't talk to him when I got upset with him. I caught him in lies alot of times. He lied about everything....from what kind of music he liked to how many friends he had to even whether he played world of warcraft or not. He said he didn't play it and hadn't in years but I found out he was playing it all along. 70% of our convos were him QQing. Mostly about this girl who he claimed wouldn't give him a chance as a bf. He never met her in person either. I know now though that even that (her not giving him a chance ever) was a lie. I hacked into his email when I caught him in lies and found out he was lying about alot more. Like he had other friends and he was telling them all the very same thing he told me, that they were his only friend and he didn't know what he would do without them, etc. Anyway from the emails I could tell that she did like him at one time. She just lost interest, probably because she found out what he was really like. I mean christ he knew her for over 5 years and was promising to visit her and even gave specific date he would come at least once and he never did. If I was her I would've lost interest too. The other 30% of our convos were good though I must admit. I've met very few people I could talk with as well. Probably because I mostly talk to introverts and he was really an extrovert pretending to be an introvert. Anyway after I hacked in I wrote him some pissed off emails and he deleted me from msn lol. Just like Rich and everyone else did. Seems no one ever just blocks me...they always end up hating me so much they don't even wanna see my name there so they just delete me. Thats fine with me though I wouldn't have talked to him or Rich again anyway, I'd rather have no friends at all then friends like that.

Anyway as badly as both of those friendships hurt me...none compares to the hurt I experienced in 2005. The first half of 2005 was good for me but the 2nd half...well to say it sucked would be putting it mildly. The only worse time for me was probably when I was 12-14 and having to go to school and get bullied non stop. But anyway 2005 was the year I just couldn't take my best friend at the time lying to me anymore. We were best friends from the ages of 7-12 then drifted apart(to this day I don't remember why which drives me crazy sometimes) then we got back in touch when we were 18 and became just as close as we were when we were kids. Things were great for about 3 years then he started making up this fake person called Julie. He claimed that he knew her as a teen and they were close friends but she moved to flordia. He even claimed all kinds of crazy stuff like she had 2 kids (twins) that might be his but he never slept with her, it was the turkey baster. I'm serious, he actually said that. Anyway she sounded so crazy I didn't think she could be real. But I didn't have much proof at first. When I knew for sure was when "she" started cutting in on my phone convos with him, I actually heard "her" he claimed she was hacking into it. I know it had to have been him throwing his voice though. Other things that tipped me off to her not being real are, once I got suspicious I started keeping track of the times she was online checking her hotornot and stuff and the times he was on, it was always within 10-20 minutes of each other. I also suspect he was pretending to be another person online too, a guy, but I won't get into that. Anyway once "she" posted in a forum I visit that was it for me. I got pissed off and got revenge on him for it and that was the end of a pretty much life long friendship. It wasn't until years later that I found out where the Julie pics came from either...actually Josh found that out for me I guess it takes a liar to know about one lol. They were all of a certain model, a former penthouse pet of the year too at that. I can't believe I didn't find that out sooner, I feel so stupid when I think about it because she wasn't some obscure model at all.

Also in 2005 my last offical online relationship ended. Things were going so good in the begining of it, I felt like we'd be together forever. But he changed on me and started treating me like crap. I'd catch him in lies alot of times and he had alot of female friends...1 girl he even stayed over at her house for the weekend. I felt that was very inappropraite but when I told him I didn't like it he turned it all around to make me the problem saying how would I know whats appropriate for friends to do since I only have 1 friend, etc. It was also the same friend who after 2 months of us being together I asked him who was more important cause I was feeling insecure and he replied "I dunno". I'm sure most people won't agree with me(which is why they wont ever have a relationship that lasts ;) but I think if you don't know whos more important your girlfriend or your close friend, then you should either 1. break up with your girlfriend and persure something with your friend or 2. break off your friendship to give your relationship a fair chance. Anyway she wasn't the only problem. He also had a close online friend in wow and he preferred to play with her over me. I tried so hard to get him to play with me but he never would even gave me a chance. Oh once he did when she went away for the weekend. And I'd almost wished he didn't, he did nothing but criticize me and how I played. Anyway I broke up with him because of him always preferring his friends over me.

I've had alot more people in my life that have hurt me too....my asshole of a father walked out on me when I was 7 and never even tried to be in my life. Had a neighbor growing up that made up stories about me and several other kids in the neighborhood being abused and also falsly accused me of scratching her car. Have a half sister (dads side) who I was never that close to but got in touch with me back in 2001. We had a falling out in 2003 when my favorite band at the time (Jesus Jones) had a club gig. I was so looking forward to it and planning to go with her. She canceled on me because our uncle died. It wasn't even the day of the funeral. She just didn't want to leave our fucking aunt alone. The aunt who never tried to get to know me, like all of their family. She chose them over me and to this day I've not been able to forgive her for it, after that our relationship was never the same. I haven't even seen her in person since that day, and after that I hacked into her email and never emailed her again till years later when she contacted me on myspace. I wonder if she knows I hacked her lol. I even wrote one of her friends an email saying I had just had the mose amazing 1 night stand. LOL. Anyway when I heard from her years later on myspace we got back in touch. All we do really is email or IM, it used to be more frequent but now I'm lucky to hear from her once a month. Our last convo was a few weeks ago I think, I don't remember exactly how long ago. But it ended with me mentioning our asshole father and how he had found out where me and my mom live. Then she goes "tell your mom I said hi" and she just logs off msn. I'm thinking maybe I should just cut her off. But I think what I'll do is since shes engaged (which I only know for sure from checking her myspace) is whenever she mentions me being in her wedding(which she said like 2 months ago she would really like me to be a part of it..which is probably a lie but might be true) I'll just log off without saying a word. It will be nice revenge :D

Speaking of that...revenge...I've gotten revenge on all of the above people...and despite what all the sheep say it isn't harmful to me. In fact I always find it very healing...fun too. Some very stupid people say that "an eye for an eye and you're both blind" well I just don't get that...I mean if someone made me blind I'd definatly want them to be blind too in return, why wouldn't I? I'll admit I'm a very vengeful person, but I don't think thats a bad thing...if anything I'm proud of it. I like that I don't let people get away with hurting me...it makes me feel good about myself.

Anyway if you've read this far...I bet you haven't and I'm talking to myself now...LOL. But if you have I'll tell you a bit more about me. My personality type is ISFP if you know what that means. I can be the nicest person in the world if I like you...but if I dislike you...watch out I can be the biggest bitch ever. I'm pretty silly at times. I'm very non judgemental mostly. And if I have a negative opinion on something a friend does in their life I never tell them. I always make sure to say "sorry to hear that" if something bad happens to a friend and offer a sympathatic ear. I hate when people don't do the same for me. I'm a huge pessimist (pessimists are the true realists) and a big cynic. I think most people are bad. I don't like to be friends with optimists or even non pessimists because I find them annoying, and they always try to change me or tell me "everyone isn't like that". I feel like saying to them "well since I've never met a nice person why would I believe they exist, should I also believe in Santa then?"

I don't work, mostly as a result of my SA. Actually I haven't left the house in over 6 months. I'm on SSI for my SA and I still live at home, with my mom. She used to bug me all the time to get a job or go back to school but thankfully she hasn't in years. Think she finally understands, maybe. I'm honestly not doing anything to overcome my SA, since I consider it to be rational, I know if I got over my SA I'd just open myself up to be hurt by people even more. I'd probably honestly still be very unambitious even without the SA though. My laziness is probably my biggest fault :P Well that or my openess...but that I don't really consider a fault.

I'm a nonsmoker and I can't stand being around people that smoke. I think its quite rude to light up near someone. I've even had cab drivers light up on me. Thankfully when I ask (which is hard for me cause I have SA) they always put it out. Except this 1 years ago he was a huge jerk...said that when I call I should request a no smoking cab. All I did was ask him to put it out...I think I even said please.

Lets see...what else...I like cats. I don't have any though sadly. The last 1 I had died about a little over a year ago, I had her since I was 9 years old. I had 2 other ones too since a child they both died in 2004 within months of each other. I think they died so close to each other because they were soulmates :) They certainly were very close. Whiskers was already a few years old when I got Furby, yet they played like kittens together, he used to clean her too it was sooo cute. They continued to play into adulthood too. Some people say animals can't love...but well I think if they saw those 2 they'd have disagreed!

I have a huge interest in the paranormal (especially aliens/ufos). I definatly think we've been visited and that some people really do get abducted by aliens. I believe quite strongly in reincarnation. My other interests are tv(I'm a huge tv addict), alternative rock (my favorite band is The Killers...their amazing every song of theirs is awesome. And my biggest interest is world of warcraft (which my ex got me into...guess I got 1 good thing out of that jerk...lol). I have a level 80 druid with nearly 6000 achievment points. I have a few alts, but none I really play anymore. I'm addcited to wow and my druid both :P

Alright I think thats it for now :) I might write more later, probably a rant or something :P