I'm still alive lol

Wow I haven't updated in ages. Guess I sorta lost interest in this blog. Well bored now so here I am more then a year later finally updating again. My life is pretty much the same now as it was then. Will and I are still together. Visits have been less though due to money situations and weather. We've had 2 since my last entry. It would've been 3 and 3rd one would've been me visiting him with my mom but she backed out saying there was no way to get there. I found ways but she just deemed them all too expensive or long to travel :( Feel was shitty of her to get mine and his hopes up for nothing. Guess only way I'll ever get to see his area is if he takes me there (I have no car and am terrified of riding a bus or train 500+ miles alone.) Wish we lived closer :( I wanna see him every day, not just online or over the phone but face to face. I love my William! K now onto other stuff before I give people cavities.

Last visit was all the way back in late October and wasn't that great because I was sick :( William was super sweet about it though and took care of me good, going to the store to get my tissues, etc. He's a great guy and I'm so lucky to have him. :) We basically stayed at my house and the hotel the whole time because I was so sick. I feel kinda bad about it now, like I should've forced myself to do stuff because we get so little real life time together.

One before that was one of my fav visits though, somewhat for reasons I won't say here :P We went to golden hills state park very nice place. Walked around a ton there (well a ton to me anyway, maybe not to William whos far more used to walking then me :P) and took lots of pics there, maybe I'll upload some later. We also went to the aquarium here in niagara falls. Which I would not recommend. Charge was 10 dollars per person and it was rather small and unimpressive. They didn't even have dolphins, however they had sea lions and we watched them do a show, which was good but still not worth it imo. Also got a mood ring there and some pennys flattened as souvenirs and Will got his mom a thimble cause she collects those.

I'm still playing wow and so is Will. We both got the xpac and have 2 85s each. Him his lock, and now a death knight. Me my druid and lock. I've also got a priest at 83 and a rogue at 84, which I'm just leveling for professions. I don't like this expansion that much though. The raids seem less pug (pick up group) friendly and more guild oriented. I haven't pugged a single raid, expect for baradin hold which is a super easy 1 with 1 boss that drops limited gear and everyone does him, even then I still have alot of wipes whenever I do it. I haven't had much luck with guilds, so this really sucks for me. I've pretty much given up on them and am staying in my own which was and is a bank guild I made for myself and Will. The xpac also introduced guild leveling so I'm hoping in time I can at least get some of the perks from that by being in a bank guild, if I was in someone elses I'd worry about losing them when I quit the guild. Mine and Will's guild is already level 3 and halfway to 4 :) Too bad theres 25 levels lol. But anyway really wish they'd make wow more solo and/or pug friendly, I and many others would enjoy it much more then I'm sure. A cross server raid interface would be a good start for one, I hope they implement it one day.

Well Valentines day was last month and Will got me a memory box, he carved and woodburned in it to add a personal touch and put some felt on the bottom :) He's really been getting into crafting and woodcarving lately, think he's pretty good at it too :) Love when he makes me things. :)

Going to doctors in a few weeks, been not feeling well for past few months, isn't a cold but stomach problems and such. Hope is nothing serious but worried. My mom is no help either, she knows I have SA about calling places, yet she says I should. Took me many weeks to get her to call to make 1 for me. Also isn't any help that she always says she's had a feeling I'd die young. Seriously what kind of mother says that. But she is nuts anyway and I won't get into why.

Speaking of family, found out months ago via facebook/myspace that my sister is married. Her profile pic is of her and her husband on their wedding day. I couldn't help but laugh cause he looked exactly like the pics I saw of our dad when he was younger. I obviously wasn't invited to the wedding but thats fine with me. I don't get along with her or like her, and we haven't seen each other in 5+ years and last time we talked was like 2 years ago. It would've been nice to have a sister I could've been close to but I got to know her, and she's like our dad not a good person. Anyway I give their marriage 2 or 3 years, 5 tops lol.

Had some weird dreams past few nights about kittens. Came to conclusion that they meant if I found a litter of kittens I should pick the one that looks different then the others. Sucks I live upstairs in an apartment, makes it hard for any kittens to find me. And my mom is mean and won't go with me looking for one at the spca or newspaper and I'm too nervous to go by myself. I believe in reincarnation and even that pets can be reincarnated so am wondering if this is a sign and I should be looking for them? But I didn't feel they were sent from any of my previous cats like I did with the dreams I had years ago :( Was just now reading though those entries about dreams about Furby before in summer 2009 and feel bad and worried that maybe she was reincarnated and I never found her, so she found another family or gave up. :(

Hmm not sure what else to write about. I think this earthquake in Japan may be beginning of the end. 2012 and all. It sounds crazy, but theres alot of evidence if you research it, though I don't believe the world will end, I do believe it will be quiet different a year from now and mass population may die off. If not at least I can come back and read this and laugh at how silly I was a year ago.

Well guess thats all for now. Maybe I'll write again soon maybe not.

Furby

I had a dream again last night about Furby. Its like the 5th or 6th dream I've had of her this year. Like the other ones she was reborn as a kitten in it. In the first few she was a white kitten. In the last 2 she was a black and white kitten. In this last one last night she was a male kitten, black and white, and the smallest in her litter.

I can't help but wonder if theres something to these dreams, like shes trying to send me a message that shes been reborn or will be reborn and wants me to look for her. Shes always unhappy in the dreams at first but then happy when I find her. Its odd because she died 4 or 5 years ago and I've only just been recently (the past 6 months) been having these dreams. I'm worried if they are a message that she's mad or gonna get mad at me for not finding her :( I feel like I should be looking at least but with this damn SA and not having left the house in over 9 months well. I 1. wouldn't know where to look and 2. I have no transpo to go anywhere. 3. my mom is dead set against any cats now. /sigh and 4. Think I'm crazy for believing these dreams could be messages.

Maybe they're really just dreams and nothing to them. But its weird because it usually happens on nights when I haven't really been thinking of her and why now years after her death and why always about her returning as a kitten, why not about her living as she was a grey and white cat? Anyway if they are some kind of message I hope she is born to a litter as a stray very very near my apartment or near my moms work and my mom somehow has a change of heart and brings her home. I just hope I find her if she has been reincarnated already.

I wish I had a kitten

I had a dream last night about kittens. In it I found this litter of 4 cute little kittens and I kept one of them. The one I kept was the cutest of all, he was kinda a calico but also kinda a tabby stripped. His face was orange tabby stripped with some white and with black on the sides which looked so cool and his body had alot of white but also some orange and black. He was adorable...wish I really had a kitten like him.

I have no kittens or cats for that matter :( I still live at home with my mom and shes kinda a bitch about me getting 1. Last cat I had I had since I was 9 years old, she died 2 years ago. Her name was Tiger Lily and she didn't like to cuddle much or be petted much. Though she was kinda nicer towards the last year or 2 of her life(she died of cancer). I joked that she knew the end was coming soon since she was old, so she wanted to make peace with god. I also had gotten 2 after her that died in 2004. Whiskers, he was a black and white cat who was the sweetest cat that ever lived but also loved the outdoors (maybe even more then he loved being petted/cuddled). And the other one was Furby. I miss Furby most of all, she was like a child to me. Furby was grey and white and she looked and acted like a kitten even when she was full grown she still acted very kitten like. She loved to play and she liked to be petted but only by me...she wouldn't let anybody else near her ever. There was also something wrong with her (though she was perfect to me) where she couldn't jump right, her back legs didn't work the way they should've or something. She would fall down the stairs at times because of it. We never could find out what exactly was wrong with her or what caused her death, but she was very sick towards the end, she was barely eating, the vet was no help at all, just said she was anemic and that more tests would cost us, well I forgot the amount they said but it was more then a few hundred and we didn't have it :( I feel guilty to this day over it and angry at my mom too for not having the money...I think what if...maybe she could've been saved. Theres a part of me that thinks she died of a broken heart, because her and Whiskers were very close and he died a few months before her. From what we don't know, he just came home 1 day very sick and he died that night before we could even call the vet or anything :(

But anyway I love cats, they're the best animals ever, and way better then people. I really wish I could have 1 again.