Rantings and More From A Misanthropic Genius

I'm still alive lol

2011-03-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Wow I haven't updated in ages. Guess I sorta lost interest in this blog. Well bored now so here I am more then a year later finally updating again. My life is pretty much the same now as it was then. Will and I are still together. Visits have been less though due to money situations and weather. We've had 2 since my last entry. It would've been 3 and 3rd one would've been me visiting him with my mom but she backed out saying there was no way to get there. I found ways but she just deemed them all too expensive or long to travel :( Feel was shitty of her to get mine and his hopes up for nothing. Guess only way I'll ever get to see his area is if he takes me there (I have no car and am terrified of riding a bus or train 500+ miles alone.) Wish we lived closer :( I wanna see him every day, not just online or over the phone but face to face. I love my William! K now onto other stuff before I give people cavities.

Last visit was all the way back in late October and wasn't that great because I was sick :( William was super sweet about it though and took care of me good, going to the store to get my tissues, etc. He's a great guy and I'm so lucky to have him. :) We basically stayed at my house and the hotel the whole time because I was so sick. I feel kinda bad about it now, like I should've forced myself to do stuff because we get so little real life time together.

One before that was one of my fav visits though, somewhat for reasons I won't say here :P We went to golden hills state park very nice place. Walked around a ton there (well a ton to me anyway, maybe not to William whos far more used to walking then me :P) and took lots of pics there, maybe I'll upload some later. We also went to the aquarium here in niagara falls. Which I would not recommend. Charge was 10 dollars per person and it was rather small and unimpressive. They didn't even have dolphins, however they had sea lions and we watched them do a show, which was good but still not worth it imo. Also got a mood ring there and some pennys flattened as souvenirs and Will got his mom a thimble cause she collects those.

I'm still playing wow and so is Will. We both got the xpac and have 2 85s each. Him his lock, and now a death knight. Me my druid and lock. I've also got a priest at 83 and a rogue at 84, which I'm just leveling for professions. I don't like this expansion that much though. The raids seem less pug (pick up group) friendly and more guild oriented. I haven't pugged a single raid, expect for baradin hold which is a super easy 1 with 1 boss that drops limited gear and everyone does him, even then I still have alot of wipes whenever I do it. I haven't had much luck with guilds, so this really sucks for me. I've pretty much given up on them and am staying in my own which was and is a bank guild I made for myself and Will. The xpac also introduced guild leveling so I'm hoping in time I can at least get some of the perks from that by being in a bank guild, if I was in someone elses I'd worry about losing them when I quit the guild. Mine and Will's guild is already level 3 and halfway to 4 :) Too bad theres 25 levels lol. But anyway really wish they'd make wow more solo and/or pug friendly, I and many others would enjoy it much more then I'm sure. A cross server raid interface would be a good start for one, I hope they implement it one day.

Well Valentines day was last month and Will got me a memory box, he carved and woodburned in it to add a personal touch and put some felt on the bottom :) He's really been getting into crafting and woodcarving lately, think he's pretty good at it too :) Love when he makes me things. :)

Going to doctors in a few weeks, been not feeling well for past few months, isn't a cold but stomach problems and such. Hope is nothing serious but worried. My mom is no help either, she knows I have SA about calling places, yet she says I should. Took me many weeks to get her to call to make 1 for me. Also isn't any help that she always says she's had a feeling I'd die young. Seriously what kind of mother says that. But she is nuts anyway and I won't get into why.

Speaking of family, found out months ago via facebook/myspace that my sister is married. Her profile pic is of her and her husband on their wedding day. I couldn't help but laugh cause he looked exactly like the pics I saw of our dad when he was younger. I obviously wasn't invited to the wedding but thats fine with me. I don't get along with her or like her, and we haven't seen each other in 5+ years and last time we talked was like 2 years ago. It would've been nice to have a sister I could've been close to but I got to know her, and she's like our dad not a good person. Anyway I give their marriage 2 or 3 years, 5 tops lol.

Had some weird dreams past few nights about kittens. Came to conclusion that they meant if I found a litter of kittens I should pick the one that looks different then the others. Sucks I live upstairs in an apartment, makes it hard for any kittens to find me. And my mom is mean and won't go with me looking for one at the spca or newspaper and I'm too nervous to go by myself. I believe in reincarnation and even that pets can be reincarnated so am wondering if this is a sign and I should be looking for them? But I didn't feel they were sent from any of my previous cats like I did with the dreams I had years ago :( Was just now reading though those entries about dreams about Furby before in summer 2009 and feel bad and worried that maybe she was reincarnated and I never found her, so she found another family or gave up. :(

Hmm not sure what else to write about. I think this earthquake in Japan may be beginning of the end. 2012 and all. It sounds crazy, but theres alot of evidence if you research it, though I don't believe the world will end, I do believe it will be quiet different a year from now and mass population may die off. If not at least I can come back and read this and laugh at how silly I was a year ago.

Well guess thats all for now. Maybe I'll write again soon maybe not.

Will's Surprise Visit, level 80 now :)

2010-02-23T05:50:00.001-08:00

Has been yet a month again since I've written, actually almost 2 months. Guess I've officially given up on trying to write here more often. Anyway things are going good for me :) And to any of my online friends that read this sorry for not being on msn much, usually am busy in wow.

Will visited again in January :) He stayed for 2 days this time. It was very last minute...in fact he hadn't even decided on it till a day before leaving. Was a great visit as always. Drove around together, cuddled while watching tv, played some board games and saw a movie together :)

He drove this time and stayed at a hotel...we didn't think my mom would be too thrilled about him staying here so last minute. I was worried about him driving with the snow but luckily he made it there and back without any problems. I made him sloppy joes for dinner the first day and stuffed pork chops the next day :) He loved them, poor boy hadn't had pork chops in ages. If the way to a mans heart is through his stomach I'm definitely doing a good job here...though he'd love me even if I burnt toast :) We also had pizza from the place near me again too for a late late dinner, it was horrible that time. Seems the one guy that works there does a really shitty job making it. Anyway spent most of the rest of the visit cuddling in front of the tv at the hotel and playing board games. :)

When we drive around we always drive past "our house" a few times which by that I mean the house we first saw on 2nd visit that I swear looks haunted. Lol some people have a song thats their song, not us, we have a "house" though lol. I did some research though, (discovered recently that google has a news archive search) I searched the house number and turns out it was just an accidental fire that happened when no one was even home. Have to admit I was kinda disappointed about that lol...was actually kinda hoping it would've had some horrific story about a family dying from an arson just so then I could say yep that must be a haunted house lol.

On the last day of visit after we drove by it we drove by some graveyard. We stopped to get out cause 1 of the graves had presents on it and I was curious. Then we stayed a bit longer (just a few minutes really) just walking around and looking at random graves. I almost wished we had brung the ouija board lol but it was good we didn't. After only a few moments a car stopped and some old couple asked us who we were looking for. (Who as in who's headstone lol) The guy said his wife owns the cemetery and could help us find a grave. Will and I must've looked like deers caught in headlights. Will replied first and totally put me on the spot! He went "uh Stephanie what was the name of your cousin again?" Or something like that. I just thought of any name off the spot quick as I could and first thing that came to mind was "Linda Stonesmith". A name that sounded obviously fake lol and they probably knew. I then said I wasn't even sure she was buried there. They then drove away. Will and I left right after too. Will swore they were following us after lol and that he saw them pull into another graveyard behind us. Maybe they were, did notice a car looking like theirs at times behind us.

We watched Avatar too. Was a great movie :) Maybe even in my top 5 of all time. Ending was kinda predictable though. Can't wait to see what movie we watch on next visit :) Unfortunately he's saying it probably won't be till April :( Miss my Will, wish April would hurry up all ready!

We also checked out the creepy attic (or so we thought, turns out according to my mom it was actually a small apartment that just looked like an attic) in my apartment building. Can't believe I almost forgot to mention this. It looked like someone had been up there recently too and there was furniture and stuff in there and a small radio. Nothing seemed to look like it had dust on it either o_O We asked my mom and she said she'd never been up there. Anyway after that we tried via the ouija board to contact the previous occupant of this apartment who had also owned this building at one time. We mostly got gibberish again. Wish we would get some results for a change, seems the more we do ouija board the worse our results get :( Anyway Will went back home the next day. And maybe we actually did get a result though not one we wanted...

The day after that I woke up to no heat. That wasn't too unusual though since we always turn it down at night and use heaters in our rooms since the vents don't seem to keep it warm enough with the doors closed. But my mom was already up and she said we have no heat. Someone was already down in basement looking at it. It turned out to be a major problem and they had to dig pipes and stuff up outside to get our heat going again. We were without hot water and heat for like 2 days. I can't help but wonder/worry that Bernard's spirit had something to do with it. So creepy how there was a major problem with our gas a day after we tried to contact him.

Valentines day passed again and I was happy and looking forward to it for a change. :) Will and I sent each other sweet cards and he got me some chocolates :) They were soooo good. Hes the best boyfriend ever :) He made sure to pick out something he knew I'd like, not some random assorted chocolate but peanut butter chocolate stuff which I loooooove. :D

We also did the vday dailys in wow just about every day together...we both got pet in same run and on last day of the event :) He got his first and I offered him gold for it but said I'd wait to see if one dropped for me in this run first. We had done around 20 summons that night with 1 of our wow friends and their friends, pet dropped 3 times in total. Weird thing that it seemed to hardly ever drop but when it dropped on runs it was always 2 or 3 times that day. Will said he would've maybe given me the pet too for free if another hadn't dropped for me :) Am glad we both got it but wonder if he would've.

I think the friend we went with for the vday stuff is mad at me though. Because I was running heroic mgt one day and he whispered me...he didn't ask to come but he hinted strongly that he wanted to. I didn't want to have to roll on mount though so I didn't ask. I did get the mount a few days or week later too. Felt kinda bad but think he should be more understanding...I wouldn't have minded running him though sethekk after since I have the mount there...maybe I should've suggested it after. Didn't really talk to him again after that until we randomly ended up in same group for vday boss one day. Then we did it a few days in a row together with some of his friends and WIll. Anyway think I didn't ask him to do any mount runs with me because didn't want to be saved in case Will wanted to run it. I'd rather see Will get the mount then a wow friend. Me and Will don't do much mount runs though, at least not for ones he needs. Maybe after lunar festival ends they'll be more time for them and I can run him though sethekk and mgt to get him those mounts since I already have :)

Speaking of wow Will hit level 80 finally :D So did my rogue. Always thought my lock would be my 2nd 80, but leveled rogue first so I could get lockboxes for the ravenholdt rep for the insane achievement on my main :) Still am interested in eventually getting my lock to 80, hopefully before next xpac. Waiting on his druid to hit 70 though first so we can do 70-80 together :) His druids level 46 atm. He's mostly been leveling it when I'm not on or busy with stuff, he's lost alot of interest in leveling it though since he hit 80 on lock.

Anyway he's getting geared up quick...his wowheroes score is already 2474 which means his just about ready for icecrown :) Can't wait till we do our first ICC together :D His dps is a little low though :( But he seems to do better on longer fights. He's trying hard to get it up though and has geared up very fast...I'm proud of him for that :) He also did 25 man ICC with guild (I went on my rogue to hide because I figured it'd be a wipefest. Though guild leader knows about my rogue he luckily must not have checked if I was on it) He got super lucky and won an awesome caster dagger off first boss. It was a wipefest though before and after that...lucky him though he wasn't in from the beginning for all the wipes. Gleader didn't take him at first but guess he finally figured even undergeared guildys would be better for it then pugs who would and did just leave. He didn't even ask him to go though...he just whispered "come to icecrown" to him. Rather rude of him. So was karma that Will won the dagger over him lol.

As for more wow stuff, shortly after hitting 80 me and Will became Bloodsail Admirals together :) Was his 2nd title ever in wow too, his first being Leeroy. Was glad to do that with him :) Feel bad though that he's gonna have to buy so much silk to get back in the good graces of the greedy goblins. Since I'm going for the insane achievement I have to grind by killing venture bay members or running DM. Ugh. I also fished up a turtle mount in under 5 hours :) Sure glad it didn't take 10,000 casts or more for me like it did for alot of people.

Anyway thats all for now. Gonna watch some Lost now :D Haven't watched any of this season yet because my guild usually does the weekly raid when its on, servers are down now for maintenance too so seems like a perfect time to watch it and maybe have a snack too :)

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and everything in between

2010-01-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

Have so much to write lol. So much for trying to write here more often :( Anyway alot happened since my last entry. Will visited again the weekend before Christmas, and we joined a new guild together, and of course Christmas and Thanksgiving happened too. Will go in order I guess lol.

First Thanksgiving. Was my worst Thanksgiving ever :( I was making the turkey and everything else for thanksgiving (I'm a pretty good cook...usually) like I do every year because I don't like to or trust eating food prepared by other people (don't even eat out really just a pizza every 3 weeks or so).

Anyway why was it my worst thanksgiving ever? Well not only did Will and I have a big argument on that day but my stove broke and caught on fire...with the turkey in it! "Luckily" I noticed it right away...I had been in there to check on the turkey and it was fine, then like 5-10 minutes later I glanced in the direction and saw the oven was like lit up...at first I thought I turned the oven light on and forgot...then I remembered our oven light is broken so I went to investigate. Opened oven door and saw small flames on the bottom. Wasn't sure what to do so I called my mom who was sleeping and woke her up. She sure didn't rush to get there when I told her the oven was on fire, took her at least 2 or 3 minutes to even get up. The next few minutes were kinda comical I guess but I sure didn't find it funny then. She didn't know what to do either, she was saying "Do something!" so I grabbed the salt shaker and put salt on it since that usually works to put out fires (I know from experience with stove fires lol). It didn't work of course lol. So then my mom grabs a cup and starts pouring cups of water on it. That didn't work either (obviously lol) and the flames were getting bigger and bigger, when it just started it was very small. Finally we noticed the coil thing was burning itself out. So my mom moved the oven so she could get to the plug and we unplugged it. The coil thing was pretty much all burnt out then so she got a pot holder and slid the pan the turkey was in out. I checked to see how far done it was (knew it wasn't done all the way because the popup timer didn't come up) and part of it seemed fine but other parts of it were bleeding. It probably needed another hour or 2 to cook. We still had turkey and stuffing for dinner though we just cut pieces that seemed done off and put it in the toaster oven for a few minutes to be safe. The stuffing was done at least though I added too much liquids and it was mushy :( Ugh. Sure glad Will wasn't visiting on Thanksgiving lol. Want him to think I'm a good cook. Hope he does.

We got our oven fixed about a week later, would've been sooner but my mom had to wait until she had money, she ordered a new coil part (not sure what they're called) online and put it in herself to save money. I was able to use the burners before it was fixed though, she just unhooked the oven part or something which was good because I use the burners for most meals I make lol. Also tried to use the toaster oven for cooking some food I'd normally cook in oven, some didn't come out as good, but on a good note I found out hotdogs taste much better in the toaster oven on the grill setting then they do in the oven.

Will visited about a week before Christmas :) Since its winter he didn't drive, he took a bus, which I really appreciate, I know the bus rides (he had to take a few connecting ones) weren't fun for him. He had a really loud kid on the one ride (who I had the pleasure of hearing in the background when he called me during the ride lol) and on another bus he had crappy driver.

He got here Friday morning of the 18th and left Sunday morning. He stayed here at my house. Which was awkward with my mom here so often, but luckily she had work both Friday and Saturday. We mostly played board games lol. I obliterated him in scrabble, checkers and chess :D He only won 1 game and we played several lol. In fairness though I've always been better then most at strategy games :) Even used to play in tournaments over on itsyourturn.com , don't think I ever won one but always made it pretty far.

We also watched 2 movies together, both of which I'd never seen before, Independence Day and It's A Wonderful Life. Independence Day was pretty good, not one of my favs but enjoyed it alot, can't believed I never watched it before lol. Will said I couldn't be a true paranormal fan until I watched lol. It's A Wonderful life was good too, we watched the digital remastered colorized version which I downloaded online. Enjoyed that movie too but not as much, think its overrated lol. Liked the Christmas Carol better, we watched that online together a day or 2 before christmas eve. I liked scrooge lol.

I also made him homemade steak and cheese subs, he liked them :) Other then that he mostly had sandwiches...felt bad I couldn't feed him better food but we're tight on money in the winter :( Next time I gotta make him pork chops for sure poor boy hasn't had pork chops in ages lol.

We exchanged christmas gifts too :) He got me a lynx stuffed animal because it was cute and I like cat stuff. :) I got him a Niagara Falls tee shirt since he was too busy with me to go into the tourist shop on his other visits lol. Anyway not much else to say about visit, was fun and really glad he came :) Guess onto some wow stuff lol...

Will and I joined a guild together a couple days before Christmas. I don't know how long we'll stay in it (I'm unsure about them and Will doesn't like this guild much, will explain). Basically I was pugged to go on a run with them since they didn't have enough guildys on. The run was for normal 25 man TOC and it went alright cept we kept wiping on the last boss, they even tried it a few times later during the week, a few times without me since Will was visiting then and I obviously wanted to have all my attention on him. I was there for one attempt after he left though think was Monday night, they still couldn't get him down lol :( But anyway they were wanting to recruit me after, and I said I'd think about it. Some of them were kinda pushy about it though, though they finally said after a while ok and that there
wasn't a time limit on when I could join. So I asked if Will could join too and they seemed happy to have us both so I told them they could invite us to guild.

Our first issue with the guild was when Christmas came, the guild leaders sent me 100 gold as a Christmas present and they didn't send Will anything :( Found out a day or 2 later from the guild message that they sent it to everyone else too...except Will :( He thinks its because hes not 80 and he was kinda mad about it, saying they shouldn't have said they sent something to everyone in the guild when they didn't. Don't blame him, I'd be pissed too. A few days later the guild leader whispered him and asked him who his main was and Will replied that this was his main. Guild leader then told Will to come on vent so he could talk to him...he didn't even say please. Will doesn't have vent yet so he told him that and that seemed to be the end of that. But then he mentioned in guild chat something like "I have been way too lax with invites lately. From now on nobody gets in unless I interview them and when I want to interview them I will do it on my time not at their convenience." Will asked a bit later in whisper if he was talking about him in guild chat, he said no. I'm not sure I believe he wasn't though because I looked up guild info of all the guildys online at the time and only Will and I joined very recently. Thought I suppose the person that caused him to say that could've been already logged off.

Speaking of jerks in wow, had some asshole in heroic voa as master looter a few days ago and the asshole ninja'd the neck piece I won :( Along with rogue gloves that he lost roll on. Then he went "sucks I'm master looter." After that everyone gave him hell for ninjaing then group quickly split up. I posted on the realm forums about what he did and also made sure to let everyone in trade know not to group with him. He had the nerve to post back on the forum topic I made and lie saying he didn't ninja. Someone else that was there posted on the topic too though and backed me up. Noticed the next day thanks to wow armory that the ninja was no longer on our realm. Glad hes not but I wasn't about to let it go still. I found the new realm he joined and posted on their realm forums warning them about him. Hope the fucker never finds a group again. Unfortunatly he will though, at least for heroics because of the now multi server queue. It is kinda funny that he paid real life money to transfer his toon over it though, especially since it was so easy to find him and his gear sucks.

I mostly like the multi server queue they added with last patch, but this is one of the downfalls, that scum can now easily find groups. Usually I get pretty lucky with running random heroics on it on my 80 but any time I try one of the newer heroics theres been trouble :( My rogue also gets shitty groups most of the time. I shouldn't complain though because it does make it alot easier to find groups and finding groups for sub 80 dungeons was next to impossible before.

I have gotten a bunch more achievements since my last post and have now broken the 8000 mark :D Got my 100 mounts achievement and the bird mount in heroic sethekk halls :D Was when Will was here too lol :D He's my good luck charm :D Also got the rare green proto drake mount from my oracles egg a few days ago :D So now switched to frenzyheart rep being the achievement junkie I am lol. Sucks though because don't think frenzyheart has a chance to give any cool mounts or pets, unless they changed something with them. Was close to getting another epic achievement too just 2 nights ago, the one for doing 25 man 3 drake os, we kept wiping at 1% though :(

For Christmas didn't do anything. Just chatted online some with Will. We had another argument too :( We argue alot, trying to find ways to argue less though, hope we make it cause I really really love him. Anyway we had a good time before the argument, went on a raid of all the horde cities for the For The Alliance achievement (which I already had) and the new BB King achievement. I led the raid and I think I did a pretty good job was my first time ever leading a raid bigger then a 10 man, and 10 mans I never even led much. Will got his war bear mount from the first achievement and he was really happy about that :) He didn't get the other achievement though because he died on the boss in the beginning and didn't get to pelt the boss in time :( Felt bad about that, especially since I battlerezzed the tank instead of him.

For Christmas gifts mostly got clothes :( and a blender from my grandma :) Also my mom got me a headset for the phone thats actually not uncomfortable. Will had given me an old one he had but it went inside of the ear and I didn't like it. One my mom got is awesome though, and a huge help since Will and I talk on the phone several hours a day lol. :)

New years eve didn't do anything either, unless wow stuff counts lol. I was in a raid for some older raid dungeons with Will. Got some nice rep from it and was kinda fun. Holidays don't mean much to me anymore...but would be nice to do something on a new years eve for once. Maybe next year :)

Also made homemade mexican pizza the other day for the first time ever. Was originally gonna make for new years eve but was on wow lol. Cooked some ground beef to put on it. Used a regular pizza crust and put salsa on it for the sause, for the cheese used mexican cheese. Will make it again sometime cause it was awesome :D

Ok...think I got all the important stuff from the last 2 months in here and some of the non important stuff too lol.

Best 4 Days Of My Life :)

2009-11-21T04:21:00.000-08:00

Wills visit went awesome :) Really enjoyed all the time we spent together. Did alot of things ;) We saw 2 movies, played ouija board, drove around some, walked around hyde park some, took some pics and even tried (not very successfully) to read each others palms with the instructions he got out of some books (ok book since the one book sucked) he borrowed from his local library before the visit.

We were worried he wouldn't be able to make the visit at first :( But thankfully he was able to. :) His car was having problems and he had to take it in to the mechanics. Luckily they worked on it on the same day he took it in (which was day before our visit) and it was ready in time. What pisses me off though is his parents have a van and another car and said they wouldn't let him borrow either (he had asked because he was worried his car would not be fixed in time).

He arrived late Wednesday (the 11th) around 5, it would've been earlier but he didn't get his car back until late the night before and had to put the stuff in it, etc, he still managed to forget his cooler though lol. Plus he really procrastinated on the packing lol. Anyway first day we hung out at the hotel ;) (hey don't look at me that way I'm still a virgin) and saw a movie. Also he had bought me a few boxes of yummy hamburger helper from a grocery store near him. :) Cheddar cheese melt. They stopped selling it near me so I asked him to check near him and he was sweet enough to get some on his way here :)

Movie we saw was Fourth Kind. It was alright. Was about alien abduction in a small town in Alaska, it claimed to be a documentary and was even claiming some of the footage was from actual alien abductees. But I researched it some online and it says theres no actual evidence of it ever happening. Movie also seemed to not have a very clear cut story line till more then halfway through it. Was still a decent movie but I was very disappointed, would love to see another movie about an actual alien abduction like Fire In The Sky. Now that was a good movie and based on a true story too, still remains one of my all time favorite movies along side the Chucky doll movies, Frequency, The Butterfly Effect and The Homeward Bound movies heh. I should watch it online together with Will sometimes, I bet he'd like it and I wouldn't mind seeing it again either. :)

2nd day, Thursday we mostly hung around my house and the hotel and went for a drive and played some ouija. Speaking of ouija pretty much just got gibberish everytime when we did it on this visit, like last visit only worse. Though did get a ghost claiming to be Furby again. At least this time it went to "No" when I asked if she blamed me for her death.

We also went to the local grocery store to check for hamburger helper in case my mom was lying about them not selling it anymore lol. Shes telling the truth cause we saw boxes of other types of hamburger helper but not the cheddar cheese melt one. I also bought a ton of magazines there which I had to have Will help pay for cause I didn't have enough money(paid him back when I got home). Bought like 7 or 8 true story magazines that cost almost 30 dollars. Don't feel bad about spending so much though because I hadn't gotten any in weeks or even months and my mom spends more then that on cigarettes. Also tried to win a Stewie (from Family Guy duh) doll out of the stuffed animal machines lol. Spent like 10 dollars of my money on that damn machine and a few dollars of Will's too. Had no luck winning it which sucked :( There were 2 Stewie dolls but both against the sides of the machine though which makes them even more difficult to get so I didn't use all my tries on them, also tried to win some christmasy stuffed animals. Would've been nice to win 1 to give to Will but had no luck :( Sucks cause I used to actually be pretty good at those things and would always win something after spending a few bucks, guess I lost my touch or they somehow made them more difficult grr.

Ordered pizza and cheese fries for dinner from the pizza place near me. He wishes he had pizza places that good near him. They have just about every kind of pizza there you can imagine and you can even chose your own toppings. We normally get the 3 cheese cheeseburger 1 http://www.justpizzausa.com/menu.asp Is delicious, my only complaint is they don't seem to put much sauce on it (in fact last few times I couldn't even taste sauce on it). Will loves it anyway though. :) After dinner we went back to the hotel and cuddled some while watching Survivor and Fringe :) Neither show that he watches but he said they were good. Also drove around some and played ouija some more.

And he watched me play wow some too on Thursday and I impressed him with my mad skills at soloing heroic sethekk halls. Actually maybe impressed isn't the right word since I died on the trash while doing it lol but I blame him for distracting me :P And did kill the boss. He didn't drop the mount though :(

Have only just started to run heroic sethekk daily about 2 weeks ago since I now need just 1 more mount for the 100 mount achievement. Thanks to Will talking about mounts a few weeks ago I found out I actually forgot to buy some (ok alot) of the racial ones so I went and bought all the ones I was missing hoping it'd get me to 100, only got me to 99 though :( Hope I'm not missing another rep mount or something else I could easily get, that would really suck.

Also he saw me nude! ........Was just a baby pic though lol. Can't believe I forgot about that pic being in there. Was showing him pics of me when I was a baby and child and some from late teens and early 20s) Think I bored him a bit lol. Now hes gotta bring some baby pics of his on next visit. :)

Friday was a very eventful day and we did a bunch of stuff. We hung out around my house some playing ouija cause my mom wasn't home and then I cooked a meal for Will and me. I made Chicken nuggets and onion rings :) He must've liked it cause he ate alot :) I'm glad he likes my cooking...though I didn't really do anything but put frozen nuggets and onion rings in the oven lol. Maybe next time I'll try to make something more complicated. Feel bad for not making more meals for him on visit.

Then we were gonna see the 4 something showing of the new movie 2012 but I wanted to get some pics of us so I bugged Will enough and he agreed to go to hyde park for some pics. he was glad he did in the end though :) Might post them on my blog later. Unfortunately most of the ones where he looks good I look crappy or vice versa lol. But theres a few good ones of both us I think. Was even fun walking around there with him. Glad the weather wasn't too hot or cold.

We went to 2012 around 8 or so. The theater was packed, either because it was release day or because it was Friday night or because it was such a good movie or all of the above. I almost considered asking Will to leave with me because it was so crowded and I was worried about running into someone I used to know. But then I would've been disappointed and angry with myself since those tickets cost Will 20 dollars plus I did really want to see the movie. Actually for a brief second thought I saw Jerry but thankfully was a false alarm, was just someone that looked alot like him.

Anyway we had trouble finding seats at first because it was so crowded. First we found 2 seats and tried to sit down but someone said they were saving the seats. Felt a bit annoyed because especially in such a packed theater their friends or whoever they were saving the seats for should've been there. Luckily there was some other seats we found that were also good but if those "saved" seats had been the last good seats left I would've taken them anyway. I may have anxiety but I won't ever let myself go without anything because of someone elses selfishness. It may have started a fight but the usher was patrolling around anyway and you can't legally save seats for someone at the movies.

Anyway it took a while but we found 2 good seats in the middle of the theater. Unfortunately we had people next to us on both sides. The usher came in during the previews and told everyone they better not talk or have their cells ringing or they'd be kicked out so luckily everyone was pretty much quiet during the movie. Had to admit I was worried people would be noisy during it since there was so many people I figured someone was bound to ruin it. Didn't stop a few people from checking their text messages during the movie though I noticed. was a lil distracting/annoying to see the bright glare from it, I mean geez couldn't they wait?

Movie was really good and we even held hands during some of it :) Even liked the way movie ended. (Won't spoil it for anyone who wants to see). Wonder if something like that will ever come true in 2012. I was reading up on the mayans and supposedly they predicted alot of other stuff accurately though I can't remember what now but a show I watched on them on youtube named a bunch of stuff. But then again if they could predict stuff why didn't they predict their own demise? lol. Think I'll celebrate December 21, 2012 by watching this movie again and a bunch of other end of the world movies on that date.

We drove around some after the movie for fun at my suggestion since we wanted something to do and were kinda burnt out on ouija and palm reading. Drove for over an hour, maybe even over 2, left Niagara Falls and went way out in Amherst and North Tonawanda and stuff. Mostly stayed on the blvd so we didn't get lost but we turned down some side streets and stuff trying to find something creepy to get abducted by aliens on lol. Didn't get abducted but did come across this really creepy looking house that looked to me like it was haunted or something. Couldn't remember the name of the street or anything though but I'd been wanting to find it on google maps the past few days now. We remembered it was near a church and luckily Will remembered more then me because he remembered it was off Niagara Falls Blvd and how the street looked so he was able to find it on google maps when I couldn't. Was even more creeped out when we saw the google maps picture (go here if you wanna see) http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=414+Old+Falls+Blvd&sll=43.347152,-79.120789&sspn=1.424074,2.419739&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=414+Old+Falls+Blvd,+North+Tonawanda,+Niagara,+New+York+14120&ll=43.051197,-78.832577&spn=0.001446,0.002363&t=h&z=19&layer=c&cbll=43.051102,-78.832574&panoid=ISVZawes2jo9fcVLe1mgiQ&cbp=12,277.28,,0,-0.42 because the house is burned in it and has boards on all the windows! When we drove by it it definitely wasn't burned or boarded up in fact in looked like someone lived in it because there was a light on. Wonder if maybe I'm right about the house being haunted and I somehow sensed it or at least sensed something bad had happened there. Also wonder how old these google satellite images are, some of the houses near it had Halloween decorations up but I doubt it was Halloween of this year. They should'nt be more then 3 years old though because google maps shows the store that was rebuilt over my old house in 2006. Though I guess some areas could be newer then others, wish it said dates they were from.

Also Friday was Wills first kiss and my first grown up kiss too :) Was good. Think I much prefer cuddling and stuff though. And we cuddled alot on the visit while watching tv. :D Really felt happy and loved :) Only bad thing is now I miss him even more since visit.

Saturday we spent a few hours together too before he left. Just hung out here since he had checked out of his motel. Sucked my mom had the day off but she went to do grocery shopping thankfully so me and Will got some last time alone to cuddle. We then went to target to get Will the wrath expac for wow. We were originally gonna go to walmart but I couldn't remember where it was and we couldn't find it, which I guess was a good thing because when I got back home my mom told me she ran into Jerry on the bus and thought he was headed to Walmart.

After target he dropped me off and we hugged a bunch before he headed home. Watched him drive away and was happy we had the visit but very sad he was leaving. We've talked some about him possibly visiting again in December or early January but we don't know if it will happen. For one he would need to stay here since he would have to take a bus here since it will be too cold and possibly icy and dangerous to drive in and I can't seem to get a straight answer from my mom (grrr hate her) as to whether or not he can stay here. Also think money might be an issue since I'm sure he just spent alot on his last visit :( But glad we had this visit was an awesome time and I'd say some of the best days of my life, especially Friday which now ranks as best day of my life :)

5000 question survey my answers part 5

2009-11-08T04:15:00.000-08:00

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you?

Hell no. It wasn't the worst though, that would be middle school. But it certainly wasn't the best.

402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?

World of Warcraft :D Cause its funner then just about anything else :)

403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?

Mel Brooks. Better movies and because Woody Allen is a lousy person.

404. When was the last time you were up all night?

A few days ago. lol

405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.

Learning.

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized?

Depends on the person. Some are, some aren't.

407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as 'outsiders'?

I think having pride in something you had nothing to do with is retarded so no I don't think its good. And yes I do think having pride in it seperates people and makes them think of others as outsiders.

408. What fictional story would you like to live through?

Peter Pan :D If I was Wendy I'd never leave there :D

409. Are cats or dogs smarter?

Cats. Dogs may do tricks and all and come more often when called, but cats are smart enough to only listen when they feel like it :) You can teach a cat tricks though too if you reward them I've found out. Dogs are just so dumb they do tricks even without rewards. Plus falling for the stick trick= dumb.

410. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary?

No lol but I've guessed the answers to their secret password question on their email and gotten in that way lol :D

411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life?

In a negative way or a positive way?

Sadly for me it would be my 6th grade english teacher who I got kicked out of school for "assaulting" (it was really self defense as she tried to hold me down and force me to stay after school for being late). That definitely changed the course of my life over the next few years and possibly the rest of my life.

In a positive way it would be my 5th grade teacher who taught me at the christian school I attended for 2 years, she gave me some faith that their are teachers out there who are nice and know how to teach as well. Oddly enough the teacher I had the year before her was one of the worst teachers I (and probably everyone in her class) ever had.

412. Are you more easily bored or excited?

Not sure, I'm not excited too easily I don't think, but I'm usually able to prevent myself from getting bored. Guess I'll say excited.

413. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done?

Any time I ever told someone how I felt about them. Most didn't feel the same way, but the most important one did :D

414. "What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?" (- Adam Ant)

Whats the point of paying when you can rob and get it for free? :D

415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want?

I wouldn't want breakfest in bed. 1. I don't like to eat food prepared by others (even my SO) 2. I don't like to eat in bed period. and 3. I have never ever been hungry that soon after waking up.

416. What do you do only when you are upset?

Tell people off, lol.

417. What's the oddest CD in your collection?

An old Marilyn Manson one. Haven't played it in years though.

418. What's the best diary name you ever saw?

I always think mine are the best names :P

419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?

Probably nothing lol. Though bet learning that I finally got a real life boyfriend probably surprised them.

420. Who owes you an apology?

Way way too many people to list :(

421. Who deserves an apology from you?

Nobody that I can think of.

422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you?

I don't want kids. But if I did I'd make sure I was able to provide better for them and If they acted out I would fix what was causing them to act out not lie to myself and them by saying it was a chemical imbalance and forcing them on meds.

423. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion?

Well not 70s. Bell bottoms and the hippe style and those weird hairdos, ugh. Not too familiar with 60s styles so not sure, but think I'll say 80s. I actually like the big hair lol.

424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you?

In real life I don't think I've ever had 1 used on me. Online? "wanna cyber?" Umm no thanks.

425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature

Mature, though they all kinda do except for kinetic.

426. Do you own a record player?

Do you use it?

Nope lol I'm not in the dark ages.

427. How easily do you make friends?

Offline have never made 1 without them approaching me first or someone introducing them to me. Online a bit easier but still find it hard, usually never hear from people again after the first few convos or they end up being a jerk and I block them.

428. What is the difference between having character and being a character?

Having character means you're unique, fun, etc, mostly good things. Being a character means mostly bad things.

429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?

All of them. Except cats.

430. Do you care about your weight?

Yes, but not enough to ever give up my fav foods or exercises more.

431. Did you/will you go to the prom?

Didn't go, dropped out of high school long before prom.

432. Have you ever wanted to date twins?

Nope. I'm a 1 man kind of girl. And also I wanna be the most important person in my SO's life. If they have a twin I don't think that would be possible.

433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could?

Stricter punishments for bullies.

434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Warning: Do not piss off, will seek mega revenge.

435. Are you artistic and creative?

Artistic, no, don't have the skill :( Creative yes, I always have good ideas and stuff :D

436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year?

Probably either playing wow or talking on MSN with someone.

437. What are you obsessed with?

Will :D And World of Warcraft.

438. What was the last compliment you received?

Think it was when Will said my hair looked pretty.

439. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

1 half sister whos 7 and a half years older then me. We aren't close at all.

440. Who would you like to be alone with right now?

Will :D

441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?

I push people away but not anyone I'd want to get close to :)

442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage?

Takes the romance and trust out I think. But I might think differently if I was a millionaire lol. Would be insulted/hurt if Will and I were engaged and he asked me to sign one. Probably would cause me to think he was keeping his options open and not serious about his commitment to me.

443. Do you lie your way out of things?

No, I hate liars.

444. Are you better at talking or listening?

Both I think. Depends though, in groups listening, 1-1 probably about the same.

445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime?

Losing my virginity obviously lol.

446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?

Underground bases with aliens in them might be I think. Wouldn't surprise me.

447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you?

"I love you" from my boyfriend William :D

448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)?

Maybe lol.

449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading?

No, never been to one, sounds boring.

450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers?

William :D

451. What do you do for exercise?

Nothing, my fingers get plenty of excersie though. Get your mind out of the gutter people I mean from typing!

452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn't teach?

Lenient I think.

453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it?

I don't want kids, but my favorite names for a girl are Madalyn, Hannah, Catalena and my favorite names for a boy are James, Brandon, David.

454. If you won free tickets to a concert from a radio show and had to choose between Inxs, Poison, Blondie and Moby, which would you choose?

Ugh. I guess Moby since I think those tickets would probably sell for the most.

455. Are you a good cook?

Yes :D I don't make super complicated meals though, but the things I do cook are good :)

456. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive?

Yes, for sure.

457. Start a sentence with the words: what if

What if a nucleur bomb hits the world, what would happen?

458. Are you more spontaneous and unpredictable or loyal and routine?

Neither. I'm loyal but not routine. I can be spontaneous but not about everything. I can be predictable at times. I'm never ever routine though lol.

459. What is the highest number you can count to in your head?

Not sure and not gonna try. Probably in the millions if I wanted to bore myself to death.

460. How do you go about losing weight?

I don't lol.

461. Do you have street smarts?

I think so.

462. Do you have a lot of common sense?

Yup. Way more then most people :)

463. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Cookies and Cream :D

464. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing?

I can't think of any movies I like that involve dancing, let alone have a favorite one.

465. Would you ever want to become a guest on a talk show? If yes what would the show's theme be?

Not really lol. If I did though it would definetly be a show on me getting even with my enemies or something like that lol.

466. Do you like the way you look naked?

No :(

467. Have you ever dissected an animal?

Nope thankfully. I don't think anyone should have to for any school work either.

468. Who do you know who is brilliant?

Me :)

469. Who do you know who is dull?

99% of humans.

470. Do you ever think about time travel?

Yup :D All the time. I believe it is possible and even that the goverment may either know how to do it or be keeping secret that we have had visitors from the future.

471. What is one interesting fact you know?

That pessimistic people tend to be more intelligent on average.

472. Do you talk to yourself?

Not outloud lol.

Do you talk to your pets?

I don't have any, but when I did yes.

473. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)?

Yes, I think in possibly another 200 years humans will start to colonize there.

474. Would you rather wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty or more delicate outfits?

Clothes that I don't mind getting dirty because they're much more comfortable.

475. How do you 'live life to the fullest'?

Do whatever makes you happy and don't let work or school get in the way.

476. Are you sloppy or a neat freak?

Sloppy :(

477. Would you rather have a trunk full of nickels or half a trunk full of dimes?

Half a trunk full of dimes. Even though its half a trunk of dimes and a whole trunk of nickels It would be more money because dimes are double the amount of nickels and only half the size.

478. What is the worst mistake you've ever made?

Giving my full trust to someone.

479. Are you in good health?

Not really but I wouldn't say I'm in poor health.

480. Are you patriotic?

Hell no.

Let's play fact or crap.

Is it a fact? Or is it crap?

481. The greenhouse effect is bad for your health.

False I think.

482. There are about as many molecules of air in one breath as there are hairs on your head.

False theres more molecules.

483. The Miss America pageant started out as a contest in which people decorated wheel chairs and one chair was judged the prettiest.

Actually think this one is true, think I remember hearing about it before.

484. To remove a tattoo a physician can place a small balloon under the skin, which is inflated so that the tattooed skin gradually stretches. Then they cut the stretched skin away.

False I think.

485. Cock fighting is a sexual sport.

True I think? Never heard of it lol.

486. It is the warmest time of the day during the hour that the sun is the highest in the sky.

False.

487. Certain scientists specialize in studying cow farts.

False, I hope.

488. The brilliant colors (reds, oranges, yellows) across the sky that we get from sunsets are caused mainly by pollution.

False.

489. In Grimm's original fairy tale, Rapunzel is pregnant.

False I think lol. Don't think it'd have been such a popular story ages ago if she was.

490. Dracula was the first movie about a vampire.

True I think.

491. The inventors of Corn Flakes, the Kellogg brothers, ran a school for delinquent youth.

Not sure, true?

492. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

Sounds too weird to make up so I'll guess true.

493. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the toilet.

LOL. Gonna guess false.

494. The Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich.

True I think.

495. Some Chinese alchemists were trying to invent an immortality medicine and accidentally invented gunpowder instead.

Probably true lol.

496. The human body is made of about 99% water.

False lol.

497. Bubble gum contains rubber.

Ewww false I hope.

498 This survey to the zero power = 0.

Isn't anything to the zero power = 0?

499. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Ewww. Probably true though LOL

500. There are 86401 seconds in day.

False I think its less then that.

Wills Upcoming Visit :D Wow Friends and Pumpkinhead!

2009-11-03T04:39:00.000-08:00

Well so much for writing here again sooner lol. Anyway things have been going pretty good for me lately :) Will and I are going to see each other again on the 11th :D He's staying until the 14th :). I'm so excited :D 2 half days together and 2 full ones :) (Was only 1 full 1 last time). We're gonna play the Ouija board and maybe some other board games, kiss/cuddle (blush), and maybe drive around looking at Christmas decorations and going to see a movie. For the movie we're thinking of the new one coming out, Fourth Kind. Since we both like aliens/paranormal it seems a good choice :) Just worried my local theater won't be playing it in time. I remember years ago they were always a few weeks slow on getting the newest releases :( I guess if they aren't we can probably watch District 9 or Paranormal Activity. Would suggest going to Buffalo but he's already gonna be driving 4 or 5 hours to come here so don't wanna ask him to drive that much more.

Speaking of movies we watched Pumpkinhead together on day of the dead (the day after Halloween). We watched it on a movie site while chatting online heh. It was pretty good, not one of the best movies I've seen though, I wish it had ended differently too. Was my idea to watch a scary movie online together :) Thinking we might make a habit of this watching stuff online together :)

Our recruit a friend thing ended :( But his lock and my rogue both hit 60 before it did :) We're level 63 now actually. Turns out when you hit 60 you stop getting the triple xp anyway and can't be summoned anymore (I really should've read the faq on recruit a friend more lol). Odd thing with the summons thing is sometimes it worked when we were 60 and sometimes it didn't. Seemed to work mostly in inns. Since we stopped getting triple xp a few days before recruit a friend ended we decided to play other toons. He had a level 10 druid and a level 8 priest so I made a hunter and he granted my hunter levels with both toons until I was same level as his druid :) Got those toons up to level 19 in a couple hours of play time :) Hunter seems a fun class but I'd much rather play my rogue with him, or my druid when he gets up to 80 :D

And he got the burning crusade xpac so we can level to 70 together...told him he didn't need to though and that he could've just bought wrath, cause when I switched computers and reinstalled wow all I needed was wrath. But thinking now I may be wrong and that doing that might only work for accounts that already had downloaded the xpac before. Because everything online says you need wrath so it makes me wonder. Anyway he'll need to get wrath, and hopefully he will soon. Will be even more awesome when hes 80 and can play with my druid :D

Just wish he'd play more :( We don't even play together everyday but he thinks we play together alot, he says we play together an average of 3-4 hours a day, but I know thats totally off. He said he calculated it from his /played in wow. But thing is he played alot without me too so I'm not sure how he could calculate it. Anyway I know for sure we don't play that much on average, we barely play every other day, even weekend days we don't always get 3-4 in :( He thinks anything above 2 hours is good though :( I disagree. I think 2 is good for weekdays but think it should be more like 5-6 on weekend days. Guess we just have very different ideas on what is alot. We've argued quite a bit about it actually. :( Also he said before that he'd try to play more wow with me but it seems totally like he went back on his word about that because he later said he meant 2 hours a day and I replied something like thats what you said weeks before you said the playing more thing and he said something like well I didn't always do 2 hours then and will now. Another thing is he seems to stay on wow longer the times he goes on without me :(

Anyway while I'm on the subject of wow, one of my wow friends, Rich got hacked :( I was wondering why I hadn't seen him on in a couple days, he came on last night, I asked him where he'd been and told him armory wouldn't bring up his toons. He said "yea, I got hacked" He said the hacker took all his stuff and de'd it and used his emblems to buy epic gems and stuff. Took him a few days to get it all back (he got hacked on Wednesday morning and just got account back last night). Whoever hacked him also paid for server transfers for both his toons to another realm. He thought that was funny since he said whoever did it spent money on it. What I don't get though is why they didn't change the email (he said he got an email about his toons being transferred and thats how he found out, orginally when he got hacked he thought the person deleted them since he couldn't find them on armory) if they changed the billing info (which I'm assuming they did if they paid for the transfers) Really confusing, I'll have to ask him about it later. Hopefully he isn't lying about getting hacked for some reason. Anyway he got all his stuff back, plus some abyss crystals and such from when his gear was disenchanted, guess they reinstated his gear and let him keep the crystals. He thinks hes missing some gold though which sucks.

Anyway I just recently am starting to get interested in getting back into raiding on my druid. But I think after my recent try I'll just give up and try again in a few weeks or months. It was an uldaur 25 run that I joined already in progress because 1 of my wow friends asked me to come. Wish I hadn't, we wiped alot, not only that but the run had 10 guildys in in and 1 of them was lead, the douche decided all runed orbs would go to their guild bank. Most guilds do that, I don't really agree with it in any case...but when you have non guildys in the run, especially 10 of them you should fucking let everyone roll. Assholes. Anyway I force dc'd shortly after that when they wiped again. Do worry some that I made the friend who asked me to come mad by doing that but meh. Maybe I can say sorry and make up some excuse to him.

Ugh speaking of wow friends...1 of mine, the one I mentioned before that suggested maybe meeting 1 day since he moved to Ohio never ever ever helps me and it pisses me off. I've run him through stuff before but he never does the same. Its been like this for years pretty much and I'm just about fed up with it. Don't think hes a very good friend at all. He always says he doesn't have much time or is logging soon, or has had a bad day and just wants to bg to relax. Yet he'll help his fucking guild whenever they ask. A guild whos leader is a good wow friend of his and who was very rude to me before when I was in that guild :( Pisses me off so much. Have actually considering ending the friendship over him not helping would think if he was a good friend he wouldn't only not be in that guild but would help me too sometimes like I've helped him. Don't really remember even many instances of him helping me even. Remember 2 though both over a year ago. 1 he got pissed at me when I asked him to run me and some others through an instance because the others took too long to get there (he really has no patiance at all, even less then me lol). Another one was for my locks epic mount quest at 60 and he actually suggested I give him money for it :( Could almost understand that in a way because he paid money for the items himself weeks before for his own lock quest, but he had them regardless of me so it wasn't something a friend should've done. I wouldn't have suggested he pay if the situation had been revered :( Also remember the time a year or so ago where he borrowed 2000 gold from me to buy epic flight and took months to pay it back :( Anyway the day I asked him to run me through the instance he was online for hours on end in battlegrounds. Would've only taken 20-30 minutes to run me through the instance and he wouldn't make time. Some friend.

Did eventually find someone to run me through, one of my old guild leaders who I still talk to lol, she was very nice about it too and got some others to help too to speed it up. Thats about the only guild leader I've had in wow that I don't hate lol. But that guild doesn't exist anymore they merged with another one. Anyway I like my achievements and they weren't progressed very far so I quit partly over that and partly because 1 of the officers was a total ass to me.

Anyway as for achievements...I've gotten a few lately :) Less then I used to but I have alot of the non raid ones now and haven't been raiding much to get the raid ones. I got sporegger and kureni rep achievements as well as the diplomat achievement/title :)Also finally did Sunwell and got my outland raider achievement :D Been waiting months to find a group to get that, no one ever does it. Also killed all the rares in outland for bloody rare achievement lol. That one took about a week but was fun. Got alot of crappy level 60ish blues and some good ones from killing the rares, so some nice gear for my rogue and Will's lock and some shards for me to de :)

Anyway might write again sooner but don't hold your breaths lol. Might do next part of that longest personality quiz if I'm bored. Otherwise my next blog entry will probably be about Will's upcoming visit. So excited :D

In Love :D

2009-10-09T11:51:00.001-07:00

Haven't written in longer then usual, wish I could get back into writing here more frequently but with fall tv season starting and Will and WOW and now him playing wow with me there just isn't as much time. Which is fine cause I'd rather be with him or play wow or do both :D then write here :P

Will and I have been.....well we've been all over the place lately lol. Some days we argue a ton other days we get along great. Theres alot more good things then bad things about the relationship though :) We have really good convos about the paranormal, and I like that he accepts me not working or going to school and doesn't bug me about it, also like I mentioned before he is planning to visit again in November, we'll probably play the ouija board again then and do more fun stuff (no sex though!, I'm waiting until marriage still...also love that he accepts that.

Anyway he got his drivers licence passport thingy so he can go into Canada now :D Will be much faster (cuts ride in half about) for him driving this way. Don't know if I'll be able to go to Canada with him though since I don't have 1 and the non drivers licence id I had expired years ago :( Might go next week to get it updated. Though may not even bother, I don't think he cares too much about seeing Canada, only seeing me :D We're having some trouble finding a weekend thats good for the visit though :( But I think weekend of November 14th will be what we settle with.

Have some really awesome news too... we said we loved each other for the first time :D I knows its kinda soon but I really feel like I do and like he means he means it, sometimes I worry he doesn't though :( I hope we're together forever.

We're still playing wow together :D We're now both level 40. I know should be higher by now since its been almost 2 weeks lol :( but he isn't able or willing to play every day :( Also we took a few days to work on profession gathering/farming and leveling up professions. My rogue is an enchanter/inscription and his lock is tailoring/herbalism, so together our profs fit :D.

I seem to be....not losing interest in my druid really but caring a little less about making it the absolute best on the realm. I'm still into and working on achievements but I'm not interested in getting back into raiding yet even casually. I've done the occasionally pug though when I've felt like it or when Rich or another wow friend has asked me, but it hasn't been a regular thing. Did do onyxia 10 for the first time this week. Wiped a few times but seemed simple enough to me. Other then that and a handful of uldaurs and the weekly voas haven't raided anything in a month or so. Also have been skipping champion dailys lately sometimes and even the heroic daily. I figure my gears good enough anyway and I think I have all the mounts from the tourny now, can just buy the pets off the AH when I decide I want them bad enough.

Did get my last kill in wintergrasp that I needed for the wintergrasp ranger achievement though the other day, gave me the wintergrasp master achievement finally :) That was nice. Also got barons mount after a few days of farming nonstop for it :D Looks so cool, has a skully on the side too :D And finally got my achievement for getting exalted with argent dawn lol. Also got my my marine murloc pet which I got from buying the podcast of blizz con online :D Hes so cool, not my favorite pet but close. Also got the brew of the year achievement, kinda cheated to get it, sent in gm ticket saying my membership expired (I didn't realize it was a 1 year thing and they never sent me my October brew last year) and to my surprise they gave it to me. Was really happy about that, not that I really needed the achievement, but I'm kinda ocd with stuff like that lol, and seeing it 11/12 in progress on my achievement page all year would've drove me nuts. But I think best of all my achievements lately is the "a brew-fast mount" one I got. Got it cause the kodo dropped from brewfest boss and I rolled a 97 and won it :D. Love having a kodo mount since I'm alliance. Also finally got the 25 tabard achievement, can't believe I never bothered before to simply go to the tabard vender and buy them, sometimes I wonder if I have the right to call myself an achievement whore lol.

Speaking of tabards, I finally chose our guild tabard :D A gold kitty on a blue background :) Not the one with the eyes closed, the other one. One I picked is cute yet looks tough too :) Think it took me like an hour to pick it out lol, maybe longer. Didn't realize I can change it if I want lol.

Went to the dentist a few days ago. No cavities yay :D I'm kinda shocked lol since I don't always brush after eating and never floss. Dentist noticed my lack of flossing too, I was embarrassed :( Thinking I may wanna get my bottom wisdom tooth out (the only 1 I still have left as I had the top ones removed by the crappy dentist I had before this 1 and my other bottom one has never and will never grow in according the crappy orthodontist I had. Anyway surgery sucks but sometimes that tooth...well it doesn't hurt but at times its annoying to have it there because its now so much bigger then my other teeth, Anyway they referred me to an oral surgeon for if I do decide I for sure want it removed, they said dentists aren't supposed to remove them. Explains why I still have a scar in my mouth from when my previous dentist removed my bottom ones :(

Well thats all for now... will try to write again sooner next time.

Will is awesome and playing WOW with him is awesome too :D

2009-09-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, Will posted a topic in the triumphs forum on SAS about us :D I'm so happy that he wants everyone to know we're together :D It also helps me trust him alot more too. Cause with me if someone isn't being public about me being their girlfriend my trust in them is like zero. Not to say I trust him 100%, trusting anyone 100% would be foolish. Things between us have been pretty good lately though :)

Anyway as I said in my last blog entry that I was gonna make my own guild for me and Will and I did :) I joined on all of my toons lol. But its just a guild for banking so we have the shared bank space and it makes it easier to chat in game when we're not grouped. Because just whispering can be risky at times lol since with whispers it can be kinda easy to mistell it to the wrong person if you aren't very careful. And trust me some of the stuff I say to him I would not want to accidentally send to anybody else ;) LOL. Anyway I already purchased 2 bank tabs for our guild. I used up 1 whole 1 all on my own and some of tab 2 too already. Might finally be able to delete 1 or 2 of my 3 bank toons now since we have this guild. Been adding stuff from each toon and trying to slowly get it organized. Before I would have scrolls and stuff scattered across all 3 bank toons, now I'm mostly getting stuff like that into stacks of 20 and then putting them on one toon until I decide to use.

Getting sigs for the bank guild though....ugh. Despite finding a crap load of unguilded people around it was extremely difficult. I had Will sign of course, then I tried to have him sign on another toon and it wouldn't let him :( So retarded, if we wanna make a guild with just us 2 we should so be able to, I see no good reason why it has to force us to go out and seek 8 other people to sign our charter. Would've had my 2 wow friends sign on their unguilded alts but neither was on at the time and I really really wanted to get the guild made right away lol. Anyway to get the first few sigs I offered people 5 gold to sign. Got 6 sigs that way. Unfortunately 2 of them removed their sigs before I had enough to turn in the charter. Fucking assholes. The one rogue even said in party (we grouped with him briefly) lol before he left and removed his sig. People like that should be fucking shot. God I hate people. Except Will of course :) Anyway after that I wasn't gonna pay anyone else, though did pay the last signer 1 gold :(. I just decided if people are gonna be jerks I'll have to be rude. And I pretty much just shoved the charter in every unguilded persons face that I saw until I had all the rest of the sigs I needed. Took a while because most declined to sign grr. Anyway I don't wanna say here what the guilds name is but I picked a good one. I still need to pick us out a guild tabard too :D

Another annoying thing was about half the people stayed in the guild and kept asking for help. Will got kinda carried away with helping them and it annoyed me cause he was supposed to be doing stuff with me lol, so I booted everyone else out of the guild. Felt a lil bad about it, but I paid half of them anyway and it seemed like that would've been a constant case of lowbies asking for help. Besides didn't wanna make a real guild anyway, just wanted a shared bank and such for Will and I.

In other WOW news I discovered something about the recruit a friend thing. Well ok actually Will did lol. I feel so dumb for not knowing this lol but he can grant levels to a toon of mine thats under his level. He can grant me 1 level for every 2 levels he gains. :D So without much thought I just had him level my pally up. Leveled it from 13 to 29 in a matter of minutes :D Too bad the gear didn't level with it LOL. Not entirely sure pally is a class I wanna play either, but already have a druid, lock, rogue, priest, deathknight all over level 30 and the only other class I think I'd enjoy any would be hunter. I tend not to like classes that can only dps, unless they have pets or demons :P. This is great because while I'm leveling my rogue with him my pally will also get free levels from it lol. Just wish he'd joined wow right after his trial ended so we'd have more of this and more time with the triple xp.

Also lock and rogue are level 34 and 35 now. I'm a little ahead still and probably will continue to be cause I bought some boa stuff that gives my rogue 20% xp gain. Haven't had too much time to level lately because of his darn work and school :( I'm surprised at how much I'm enjoying leveling with him, always thought leveling another toon, even with someone I knew would be boring beyond belief, but its actually very fun with him. A part of me wishes he didn't work or go to school so we could spend even more time together, but I guess then he probably wouldn't be able to afford to visit me again so guess its good that he does lol.

Got my loremaster achievement too finally. Turns out they added a new quest and that plus 1 quest I had already completed and still had to turn in were all I needed to do to finish the achivment. :D Now to figure out what achievement to work on next for my druid. Am thinking either sporegger or kureni rep achievements but not sure yet. And still haven't gotten brewmaster and my meta achievement yet but should tomorrow :D

Anyway unto non wow stuff lol. Enjoying more season premieres this week :) Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters were both on last night, both awesome. Also watched the season premiere of Ghost Whisperer on Friday. Can't believe they skipped 5 years into the future. Ugh so annoying when shows do stuff like that, first Desperate Housewives last season now Ghost Whisperer, hope its not gonna be happening with other shows I like too.

Also watched a new show a couple days ago called Flash Forward. Was awesome, I think it will become the new Lost. The opening scene definitely seemed very lostish and so does the mystery in it. Can't wait for the next episode. Just too bad I have to download it off bittorrent since Survivor is on at the same time. Blah. Why are all the best shows always on Thursdays? Anyway I wonder who the guy at the end was (the guy moving while everyone else was flashing forward) I'm sure they'll wait a long long time to tell us lol.

In sad news..one of my aunts has the shingles. I thought it was some olden thing that was only around in the 1800s but guess I was wrong. Apparently she has it on the inside too and is in alot of pain, hopefully she'll be ok. I haven't seen her in years though but my grandma sees her and my uncle (my moms brother) regularly. Think I've mentioned before but my family isn't close at all. Anyway thats all for now,

World of Warcraft, Will, TV, etc

2009-09-22T11:03:00.001-07:00

Since wows down and I'm bored figured I'd write an entry now. Hit 7500 achievment points in wow finally :D Will be at 7600 too very soon as I still have most of the brewfest ones left to do. I've been doing all the holiday achivments so I will be getting my violet proto drake once I finish the brewfest ones :D. Hope I have enough tickets leftover to get the pink elkk mount too. Pink Elk>Violet Proto Drake imo actually. According to what I read though you need to refund the brewfest garb after you get the dalaran achievement, otherwise it isn't possible to have enough tickets to both buy everything you need for the achievement and buy the mount. I didn't have enough tickets yet to buy the garb so I haven't tried it yet but people swear it works. Just hope after maintenance they don't put anything in the game to change it. Cause I really wants my pink elk lol. So glad I at least joined brew of the month club last year, because the quest item to join it is probably non refundable and its 200 tokens.

Another achievement I'm close to getting is the loremaster one. Only part I have left for it is kalimodor. I have only 2 quests left there to do. Know where they are too(hopefully they both count...have found that a few quests don't give credit towards the achievement :(). Have to say though the kalimodor part sure was alot more difficult and annoying to do then the others, they should really lower the requirement for it, at least for alliance, by 50-100 quests.

Am happy that most of my favorite shows are starting their new seasons this month :D Can't wait to watch them. Already watched Big Bang Theory (was hoping Penny and Leonard would start dating not become friends with benefits!), Fringe and Survivor. Fringe was awesome as always, think its getting even better. Survivor usually is just a show I watch to pass them time, but this season is surprising me by actually being pretty good. Its mainly this 1 guy whos such a jerk thats making it so entertaining. Hopefully he stays for a while but doesn't win the money.

Also things between me and Will are going ok. Something he said makes me worry he might be thinking of breaking up with me though :( Ugh. Really really hope he doesn't :( We had some other arguments too, but I don't feel I should be going into details, especially since I know he wouldn't want me to. In better news, he says he's gonna visit me again :) In Novemeber though, wish it was sooner lol, but I'm greatful he at least gave a date. I still don't feel 100% secure in this relationship though...but I feel more secure then I ever have with anyone else.

His lock and my rogue are both level 30 now. So far we've only quested together a few times, due to his work and school and my sleeping schedule not always being on par with his. Did 2 instances so far, got run through both. He doesn't like being run though because it takes away the challenge, but its nearly impossible to find a group our level for these instances :( Almost had an all level 24-34 group for stocks the other day, but tank said brb relogging and never came back, so had to go whisper random tank classes to try to find 1, took 10 or so whispers for me to get someone who would come, only not on the toon I whispered them on, they offered to run us through. Was very nice of them and I of course said yes. So they ran us through, had to run us through twice do the other members of the group being impatient and starting the instance before we were all inside. I swear most people in this game are either jerks or morons or both. Did they seriously think they could duo the instance? Sure some trash yea, but bosses and the harder pulls? Idiots.

Also I'm making my own guild. Just a bank guild though lol so me and Will have extra and shared space. Haven't decided on a name yet. Thinking of something funny though. Don't know if my druid will stay in it permanently but my rogue and other toons will for sure as I don't plan to ever raid with them.

Anyway hopefully I'll get to quest with Will tonight :) But he might want to study (he's been neglecting his school work lately lol)) or I might be sleeping :( I woke up at like 3am :( Grrr need to force myself to stay up a bit longer so I can get on par with his schedule.

5000 question survey my answers part 4

2009-09-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

301. List 5 things you have not experienced that you would like to experience before you die.

In no particular order

A Have sex (but only if I get married)

B Vist Lilydale, NY with Will http://www.lilydaleassembly.com/lily-dale-attractions/lakeside-assembly-hall

C Visit disneyland or disneyworld :D

D Get married

E Having people that screwed me over envy me. :D

302. Will you try to accomplish any of these things within the next year?

Within the next year no? Within the next 5, yes. Within the next year probably will only try to visit Lilydale.

303. What do you feel controlled by?

My emotions and my social anxiety and my poor sense of direction :(

304. If Jesus appeared to you and told you that the moon was made of green cheese would you believe him?

No, I'd think either 1. someone slipped some drugs into my food or 2. Some ghost/demon is fucking with me.

305. What is one thing you are sure of?

That 99% of people suck.

306. At what part of the day do you feel the most alert?

Varies. Usually after I first wake up I guess.

307. Have you ever played in a band?

Nope. Have no talent like that :(

308. Have you ever stared into the ocean thinking 'early creatures crawled outta that'?

Nope.

309. If not, what do you think of when you are staring into the ocean?

Have never even seen the ocean in person :( I guess I'd be thinking how big and pretty it is.

310. Do you like the mental challenge of chess or other games?

Not chess so much because I suck at it and kinda forgot how to play. But games like scrabble and checkers, etc yea for sure :)

311. Do you ever think of where your atoms were before they were in you?

Nope lol.

312. Do you ever think about where your atoms will go after they have been in you?

No. Maybe now I will :( Ugh.

313. If you didn't know that people couldn't fly do you think that you could?

No but would think I could levitate. Until I tried to anyway lol.

314. Are you someone that others call when they're having a problem and want to talk about it?

Seem to have been whenever I've had close friends. Even with people that are just casual IM friends I seem to be too.

315. When it comes to literature, do you see beyond the writing and into the meaning intended by the author?

Not really. But I don't read much of any literature, it bores me.

316. Is there anything you can take apart completely, and then put back together, and have no left over parts?

Probably not :(

317. What are your feelings about the death penalty?

My feelings on the death penalty are it should only be done in cases where there is 100% certainty that the suspect is guilty. I think the death penalty is a good thing then and should be used on any murderers (except those that murder in self defense or for another good reason such as a cheating or abusive spouse or taking revenge on someone for something they did that was very bad). I also think the death penalty should be used on all child molesters and certain frauders (like men that fraud old women out of their life savings).

318. If there was a god and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?

What happens to us when we die?

319. Do you believe that life will be found on other planets?

I believe it already has and that the government has been keeping it secret.

320. What is something worth suffering for?

It depends on how much suffering but generally I don't think anything is worth suffering for. I guess if you really love somebody more then yourself then they would be worth suffering for. Thats about it.

321. If you could put an extra eye on your body anywhere you wanted, where would you put it?

Back of my neck so I could see who was behind me :D Would say back of head but I'd need a permanent bald spot there, so neck instead since this way i can just move some hair out of the way. Would have to find a way to hide it to where no one could see the eye though. Maybe some custom made sunglasses for my neck lol.

322. Are you in touch with the earth and nature?

Not really.

323. Would you rather live simply or extravagantly?

Simple house and clothes but with extravagant food, and to be able to travel whereever I want :D

324. Have you ever been camping?

Nope. Can't say I have much of a desire to either.

325. Is your heart open when you meet someone new?

I'm not really single so no lol. But when I was no, not really. People need to prove themselves to me first and be what I'm looking for.

326. Are you able to have conversations with and become friends with people who are not like you and are interested in different things than you are?

Depends but if they're too different no and I don't have a desire to either.

327. Are strangers more beautiful or frightening to you?

Frightening for sure! People suck.

328. What stops you from doing everything you want to do?

Social anxiety and a lack of knowledge about the world :(

329. Can you think of three adjective that do not apply to you at all?

Trusting

Slutty

Boring

330. How do you feel about Jeremy Jaynes, who got a nine year prison sentence for spamming people with junk email (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Jaynes)?

I never heard of him before. I think 9 years is a bit much though just for sending spam. A few months in jail and a fine should've been it for him.

331. Do you know who the current premier of China is?

No idea.

332. Are you very active?

No not at all lol. Have no desire to be either.

333. Is there a city that reminds you of the landscape of your brain?

No. Can't say there is lol.

334. Have you ever loved someone who has loved you back?

I don't think so :( Hopefully 1 day. ;)

335. Is it really being 'in love with' someone if the other person doesn't love you?

No. You only love them then. But that doesn't stop people from saying it.

336. Do you believe that there is someone perfect for everyone or that people just fall in love with who ever they are with at the time?

I think everyone has several "soulmates" that they meet in each life and in some lifes these soulmates can be lovers. I believe they're mostly but not entirely perfect for each other. Some people though never meet any of their soulmates, or their soulmates are all friends or family member's, so those people either stay single or just fall in love with whoever comes along.

337. Do you know secret things?

I think I might heh.

338. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?

Yea my last ex. What an ass.

339. How do you overcome your fears?

I don't, because they exist for good reason. I just avoid them.

340. What can you do better than anyone you know?

Be a good person.

341. Would you benefit from a wilder existence?

No, would hate it.

342. Does it seem to you like the range of socially acceptable behavior is getting smaller or larger?

Larger for sure. Don't feel I need to even explain this one. You'd have to be a fool to think its getting smaller.

343. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope.

344. Are people becoming more afraid of each other?

Kinda because nowadays everyone is scared of their kids being kidnapped and stuff like that.

345. If you had to choose the percentage of freedom vs. safety what ratio would you decide on (ex: 100% free 0% safe)?

Not sure. 80% free and 20% safe maybe.

346. Does safety stifle you?

No

347. Who or what needs to be stopped?

Child molesters, frauders, liars, cheaters, abusers, etc.

348. Are human beings becoming more domesticated?

I think its kinda the opposite at times LOL.

349. Do you follow the lives of the British Royal Family?

Nope not at all. My mom kinda does though.

350. How did the death of Pope John Paul II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_John_Paul_II) affect you?

It really didn't.

351. Have you ever lost something and never found it?

Some pictures that were important to me :(

352. Do you listen to any talk radio shows?

Nope. Used to listen to Art Bell Coast to Coast though. Awesome show :)

353. Who do you trust more, your friends or your parents?

Umm neither?

354. Would you ever date someone outside of your race or religion?

Am not single lol but if I was.... Religion, maybe it depends on what religion, probably not though, I'm not religious at all but wouldn't wanna date someone that would try to convert me to theirs. Race, probably not, I don't really find men of other races all that attractive.

355. Which of the 7 deadly sins in the worst (gluttony, greed, pride, lust, envy, wrath, sloth)?

Lust because its what causes most of the problems in the world (over population, cheating, etc).

356. Which one are you most guilty of?

Sloth for sure lol

357. Are you afraid to be alone with yourself?

No why would I be?

Do you try to avoid thinking?

Only about certain things.

358. Would you venture to tell someone you loved him or her if they didn't say it first?

Probably not.

359. What are you the most sensitive about?

My weight and my mouth. :(

360. What can you talk about for hours?

World of warcraft :)

361. Do you talk about yourself, other people, or ideas the most?

Probably myself I guess but not sure.

362. Do you believe that spell casting can work?

Yes, but think you really have to 1. Believe and 2. Know what you're doing.

363. Are you a fan of The Legend of Zelda games?

Nope.

364. What old movie would you go see if it were re-released in the movie theaters?

None that I can think of. Maybe the first Chuckie movie if I had someone to go with ;)

365. Is there a celebrity that you would be too starstruck to talk to if you met them?

I would be too starstruck to talk to any celebrities period.

366. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note?

Yea lol, online.

367. Do you think it's cheesy to paste things you didn't write into your diary?

Not really but depends what.

368. What are three things that you try not to think about?

1. My mom dying

2. My bf leaving me

3. How I would support myself financially on my own with only my SSI.

369. Is casual sex acceptable for you?

No and it shouldn't be to anybody.

370. What form of sexual protection do you use?

Abstinence. More people should use it.

371. What is expected of you that you feel is unnatural or not right?

To get a job (don't feel society should expect people like me and who've had a life like or worse then mine to work)

To have an education (same as above, I dropped out of school cause of bullying)

To not want revenge (wanting revenge is right and very natural)

372. Do you sometimes place your own expectations on other people?

Sometimes I guess.

373. Do you sometimes act overeager to make friends when you are around strangers?

No, never. Don't care enough to.

374. Do you take everything that is said literally?

Sometimes, depends on what.

375. Do you take most things others say seriously?

Depends on what they're saying lol. I guess so generally though, if they're being serious.

376. Do you have a quick wit?

Yup. Quick and better then most peoples too :)

377. Do you believe in the need for political correctness?

Depends

378. Do you have strong opinions and beliefs?

Yes, very, especially on certain things.

379. If yes, can you still hang out with and be friends with people who disagree with you?

Probably not. On the things I feel strongly about I don't believe someone can think differently then me on them and still be a good person.

380. Are you uptight?

Only when I have good reason to be.

381. Do you sometimes do risky things?

Nope never.

382. Could just about anyone hold your interest in a conversation for at least ten minutes?

Probably not lol. Most people suck so much at conversation that they can't even keep me interested that long.

383. Are you self-conscious?

Yes very :(

384. What would be your ideal destination for a Saturday afternoon?

Home :) Unless someone has a really fun/entertaining thing planned ;)

385. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing?

Not to my knowledge, I hope no one does :(

386. What is Kevin Smith’s(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Smith) best movie?

Not a fan of his and haven't seen any of those movies. I'll pick Chasing Amy though since its the only 1 that sounds good.

387. Where do you like to go on Friday or Saturday nights?

Nowhere :P I like to stay home and play WOW :)

388. Do you like your friends to act the same way all the time or do you accept their moods and changes?

I accept their moods and changes but would rather they stay the same.

389. Do you often feel like other people are judging you?

All the time pretty much :(

390. What do you think other people judge you to be like?

Probably anti-social, psychotic. lol. Screw them though, I'm only those ways around people I dislike :P

391. Are you quick to judge others?

Sometimes. Depends on who and what for.

392. When you have a fight with someone do you want to talk about it right away or calm down first and then talk?

Right away, otherwise I'll feel crappy until its resolved.

393. Some say love is a river (according to the old song). What do you say love is?

Like Pat Benetar, I'd say love is a battlefield.

394. What is the worst fault a person can have?

Worst for themselves? Probably being too trusting, because it will only lead them to get hurt.

395. Do you have it?

Nope thankfully :)

396. Which do you think has more impact on a person’s character, genetics or environment?

Environment by far.

397. Who was your first best friend?

A girl that lived across and down the street from me growing up. We met when we were 7 and remained best friends for 5 years.

398. If you are not best friends anymore, what came between you?

Middle school. She decided to ditch me because I wasn't part of the cool crowd. Hate her to this day because of it.

399. Who have you read a biography about?

Marilyn Manson. I read most of his auto biography book. Also read Mike Edwards (of Jesus Jones). Have probably read others but drawing a blank as to whose.

400. What would your own autobiography be called?

I'd call it "Revenge of the mistreated".

Will Decided To Play WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

2009-09-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have some awesome news :D Will decided to play Wow! He upgraded his trial account he had and paid for the first 2 months already :D I'm sooooo happy :D He wanted it to be a surprise for me too but the stupid wow site wasn't working right for him. Turns out if you go on the official wow site with firefox and no script on you get some really weird message/site that doesn't even look like the same website. He was all like "why isn't the wow site working"? lol. So when he asked that it kinda ruined the surprise because of course I asked why he was going on it :P

Anyway since he paid for 2 months already with a 60 day game card I already have my awesome zherva mount :D Not to mention I get a free month of play from it :) Since he paid for 2 full months and also has a month free from the purchase he will at least be on the game until sometime in December :D I think December 10th though not exactly sure. Hope he resubscribes after that :) Wonder what level he will get to by then. I'm thinking level 70 or close to it, but probably level 80 if he doesn't control himself more lol.

Anyway I have a level 23 rogue I rolled years ago and quickly lost interest in playing. So I've been playing that a lil bit with him, he's level 21 now so they aren't too far apart level wise. Kinda wish my rogue was human or something else though lol. Ugh can't believe I rolled a dwarf. Well at least she has a cute face and hairstyle lol. Kinda like me in real life...though I'm not THAT short! Anyway I'll eventually need a higher level rogue for my druid to get the insane achievement so this helps my main too. :) Probably only get it to 60 or so though. Have no desire to have an 80 rogue, they're the worst class imo. Do wanna get my lock to 80 with him though. Lock is level 71 though, wonder if he'd mind doing 60-70 by himself too much lol.

Also hopefully he'll be able to control himself from playing too much. Seems to not be doing so good so far :P But I think thats to be expected since he just came back to the game. He has sooo much homework and stuff he needs to catch up on and hasn't because of wow lol. He's so addicted :D Guess thats both good and bad though, just hope he doesn't flunk any classes because of it :(

Anyway in other wow news, I'm still guildless. Think I'll stay this way for a while, makes it easier to have time to level my rogue with WIll and work on older achievements for my druid. Though am sad to see that it seems harder to find pugs for uldaur then I thought it would be. Found 1 uldaur 10 pug in the 3 weeks I've been guildess and 1 uldaur 25 group. The 10 group I don't think I got any achievements in :( The 25 one I got a few. Including achievement for doing the bosses in 1 of the areas there lol guess everyone knew who the noob was. I was also lowest dps there...and I was averaging 4k on bosses. That was really a pro guild alt run. Forgot the name of the guild too lol :( Wonder if I should've tried to join it. Meh. Probably wouldn't have accepted me anyway and I hate rejection so didn't bother, plus I do kinda wanna be guildless for a while even if I find a guild good enough for me. Will write more later maybe about non wow stuff if I'm bored. Later.

5000 Question Survey My Answers Part 3

2009-09-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice.

caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin

Ok I'm pretty sure I wouldn't wanna be a rock cause rocks don't really "die" and I'd be stuck as it forever lol so thats first:

rock, oak tree, caterpillar, wild dog, mantra ray, dolphin, vulture, house dog, male human, female human

202. What do you feel unworthy of?

Nothing really.

203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person?

For doing something for humanity. Though not sure what.

204. Which do you value more: science or intuition?

My own Intuition.

205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first?

My best friend would be my significant other so this is rather easy. But even if they weren't for some reason (can't imagine why that would be, your mate should always be your best friend), I would visit my significant other.

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?

No, of course not. Theres probably millions of other intelligent life out there. I don't even believe earth revolves around human beings. Just look at all the jungles, deserts and bodies of waters out there for example, you won't find any (or many) humans there.

207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were?

I am still a virgin and happy about that. Its tough at times but I want to make sure the person I give my virginity to is the person I will marry.

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?

Don't have one...I never read poetry.

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's?

Jesus Jones- International Bright Young Thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Wa_nTuWAHE

210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be?

P. Since all the cool words and names begin with P and I like the sound. Plus I can be all like I'm PP! lol. Ok maybe not. Also Z is a cool letter but I'm not that flexible so I couldn't be Z.

211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?

Yes to ghosts, aliens, dwarfs and angels, not sure about fairies or elves though would like the think they exist somewhere.

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend?

Being an open, honest person. Being introverted/shy and not having many friends of their own and being a nonsmoker. Having most or at least some of the same interests as me.

213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun?

No.

214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?

Nope, sounds interesting though, I'll have to check it out cause it sounds like a movie I'd really like. :)

215. What is your favorite line from a movie?

"Life Is like a Box of Chocolates... You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!"

Very true too. And no I don't think all chocolates are good lol.

216. What's your favorite video game?

Super Mario RPG. That game was awesome :D I like alot of the older mario games. Wish they still made them like that. Nowadays games are so much shorter and easier to beat. Maybe its just because I've gotten older but I really don't think so.

217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours?

Candy from a store. But I was under the influence of friends and only 10!

218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?

Theres alot of them lol. So here's a list:

"It's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all"

"If you don't love yourself nobody else will."

"The best revenge is living a good life."

"Revenge only hurts yourself."

"You can do anything if you put your mind to it."

"Whats the worst that can happen?"

"You don't have to be shy."

Of the above I'd say ""You can do anything if you put your mind to it." is probably the worst, not by much though as they're all pretty bad.

219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it?

No. My mom and I aren't exactly friends and I don't really want her knowing my innermost thoughts. Strangers or some friends though I don't mind reading this lol.

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?

Shower, unless someone was with me ;)

221. Are you allergic to anything?

Yes. Some makeups make my skin puff up :( And have a slight allergy to plastic, its alot better now though but it used to be so bad that whenever I held a bottle of pop or a plastic bag my hands would puff up and become stiff. But my biggest allergy is I'm allergic to penicillin. :(

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?

Never seen any of them actually.

223. What is your favorite fast food?

I'm not a fan of fast food. Guess if I had to pick though cheese fries. Would much rather make my own though.

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?

Lie to me about something big or mislead me in some way. Thats how my relationships with people usually end. They lie and I cut them off and get my revenge.

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed?

No and no. I wanna be whipped 1 day though, put over someones knee and spanked like a bad girl :D And whipping someone sounds a little fun too :D

226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally?

Yup, many times, though not lately.

227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?

Because people are greedy bastards and because they like to show off. I guess also maybe to feel secure.

228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?

Yea, many many years ago.

229. Did it live more than a week?

No. It died the next night. I think 1 of my cats got their paws into the bowl. They all looked so guilty. If not that they stared him so much he got a heart attack.

230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have?

I prefer no accent actually as they're hard for me to understand. But I do think british and aussie accents are both very sexy.

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read?

Can't remember. Probably some boring thing for history class in high school.

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens?

Doesn't matter to me, I guess buttons though because I worry touch screen might bug.

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series?

Having never read the books or seen the movies I couldn't tell you.

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?

Not really but maybe a little about certain things.

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?

William cause he's done criminal stuffs before :D

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?

This depends. Is the toilet flushed or unflushed? If flushed I'd do it for as little as 10 dollars. If unflushed....ugh ummm probably 100 dollars, then I'd go wash both the money and my hands about 10 times.

237. Would you ever wear real fur?

No way. Those poor animals :(

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?

Arachnophobia bugs freak me out!

239. What are your feelings about police officers?

Meh. Not a big fan of them but whatever. Sheriffs on the other hand.... ;)

240. what is your favorite line from a song?

don't waste your time asking me
'cause i feel fine
all the times i've been through this before made me
damn good at this

- Damn Good At This- Jesus Jones (its a bside)

241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?

Depends on the age of the person. For an adult no, probably not even for a teenager. For a child though yes.

242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)?

Not too familiar with them, think I heard some of their songs before though, don't remember them as being good or bad so they probably were just average to me.

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction?

Money. Have no desire for fame and self satisfaction can be kinda bought with money.

244. What's your middle name?

Lyn

245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

Kill a complete stranger heh. But for me who is a huge misanthropist it doesn't sound that crazy. I'm sure to most people it does though.

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?

I'm good despite my answer on the question above lol. I'm nicer then 99% of people and I never lie or mislead people.

247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language?

Hell no.

248. What color is your bedroom?

The floors are brown (no carpet) and the walls are whitish color. I don't really care that its dull because I'm only in there when I'm sleeping.

What color would you like it to be?

Cornflower blue http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornflower_blue like my old room. but like I said I don't care that much.

249. When are you planning to move to a new home?

Whenever I get married LOL.

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be?

Ugh. Let me think. I'm sure I'll be way off though. Ok after adding stuff together I came to an estimate of 6000 dollars lol.

251. Do you blow your nose in public?

If I have to LOL. Usually never need to.

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?

Ummm no thanks.

253. What is the coolest web site you know of?

www.emailfinder.com all the better to stalk you with my dear bahahaha.

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie?

The Smurfs hehe

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic,

fair minded, generous, helpful

Fair-minded :)

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?

Never tried.

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

Probably not.

258. What do you think about school uniforms?

Mostly good as long as they're the same for boys and girls. Will put a stop to anyone being teased about their clothes for sure. Then again kids would probably find something else to bully about and it takes away individuality, so Im not 100% decided on it.

259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

Mayan. Would like to ask them why the calendar stops in 2012 lol.

260. What would make a great new Crayola color?

Hmm isn't every color already a crayola color. They have so many of those crayons. I guess I'll say deep sky blue since they don't have that, they have sky blue but deep sky blue is slightly brighter :)

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art?

A little bit I guess.

262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration?

The Killers :D

263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country?

I can't even name 1, let alone say who is the greatest one.

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

Secret underground projects like perhaps underground bases...

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child?

Nope, not even close.

266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?

Me mostly. My mom knows more about a few things then me though.

267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing?

Drums. Easiest to learn and you can sit down while playing lol.

268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change?

I didn't even know this so I can't fathom why. I guess because adults have bigger lungs?

269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars?

Probably not. Definitely not now since I'm not single.

270. Are you completely in control of your body?

No hehehe ;)

Are you completely in control of your mind?

I hope so.

271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway?

How about expensive glittering bouquet that was hand picked from the flower shop :D

272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

Yes :)

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself?

Put my feelings into words.

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product?

Usually no.

275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?

Movies about true paranormal things that happened.

276. Does fashion matter to you?

Hell no, I couldn't care less whats in style. I'll wear what I like regardless of if its fashionable or not.

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else?

Of course.

278. What do you get in trouble for the most?

Not following "authority" figures instructions because I think they're stupid.

279. Should parents spank their kids?

I don't know but I don't think spanking would have much effect on them unless they're like 3 or 4. Better to take away their computer or tv privileges

280. What is your worst daily habit?

I like all my habits lol. I guess it would be my laziness though dunno if that can be considered as a habit.

281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?

Well its not a tv show LOL but I'd cancel all football, at least from being shown on the major networks. Football is sooooo boring and the crap always runs over, so I'd be doing everyone a huge favor, they could still show it on the sports channels for people that like that crap lol.

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?

I much prefer salty foods over sweet.

283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts?

I try to be I guess.

284. What do you feel the most guilty about?

Nothing I can think of.

285. Do you meditate?

Nope. Even the idea bores me. I'll admit it could be good to though, have heard of people doing self hypnosis and stuff from self meditation.

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?

I believe quite strongly that some dreams can be visions.

287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

Yes. It annoys me when people use big words and such for something that could be explained much simpler, makes them look like they're trying to be smart too hard, and usually failing at it too.

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals.

What verb would you fill in the blank with?

Thinks. It also explains why the theriff steals. The thief thinks that everyone steals.

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?

Playing the ouija board with Will hehe. Was fun, spooky and exciting. Even though part of it was upsetting for me.

290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

Yes :( Not afraid much about thinking how I feel though lol.

291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

Depends. Usually I say or write it anyway.

292. What is one thing you can't do?

Travel alone. My sense of direction is horrible.

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)?

Guess they're ok, haven't watched many of them though.

294. Are you gentle?

No lol.

295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable?

When I let someone know I really like them.

296. Are you trying to find yourself?

Always thought this was a dumb phrase. But anyway no, I know who I am lol.

297. Where are you looking?

Nowhere....

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?

Sometimes yea :/

299. What would make you a stronger person?

Learning how to do more things for myself, like writing checks to pay the rent and stuff.

300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

The book I bought recently Testimony by Anita Shreve because it cost me 15 dollars lol.

World Of Warcraft Stuff and more

2009-09-09T21:32:00.002-07:00

Well I said I'd make another blog post about wow and why I quit my guild so here goes lol. First I'll get into 1 non wow thing which is about the ouija board and something I forgot to mention before. The night after we played I had something scary/spooky happen when I was in my bed. I've had sleep paralysis before but this seemed different because I was able to move. It felt like something was on my back holding me down. I kicked my leg off the bed and it stopped. Didn't feel like I kicked anything though. Scared the crap out of me. Luckily though nothing like that has happened since, though have had a feeling of being watched lately. It certainly hasn't scared me off of wanting to try the ouija board again.

As for my guild, as I mentioned I quit it last week. What happened was I didn't feel like attending any raids that week, I wanted a bit of a break from raiding, partially because of Wills visit that was coming up. I was online I think it was Wednesday night in game, afk though but checking every so often, was doing some stuff like clean house or make food, forgot what exactly. Anyway I had told the guild leader hours ago that I didn't feel like raiding tonight and most likely wouldn't raid any this week. He said "np". And that was it. Then hours later I'm on wow but semi afk like I said. And all of a sudden when I get back I see the girl in my guild (the rogue bitch who I think I've mentioned before in some of my posts) say over and over in guild chat to me "P you there???" she said it like 3 or 4 times. Then before I could say anything I see "P has been demoted." The guild leader demoted me all the way back to rank 1 or whatever rank its called when u first join the guild. The guild leader who just a few hours ago had told me "np" when I said I wouldn't be raiding tonight. After I saw that I was about to guild quit right then and there but I decided to wait until less people were on.

Did a run for 10 man voa with some guildies a few hours later before quitting. Had the guildy that asked me to come tell me I needed to step up my dps or be replaced. I was like WTF. I wasn't in the top 10 but I was doing 3.2k dps. They were only doing 3k. So wtf crap was that them telling me to do more when I was slightly higher then them on the damage done chart. 3.k is fine for voa too, I was just looking bad doing it since the majority of the other dps was 4.5k+.

Anyway I quit guild the next morning. They were all just a bunch of jerks who thought they were leet sauce yet they couldn't even clear 10 man uldaur anyway. Usually I feel super sad and even cry after quitting a guild, this time I felt nothing but relief. Makes me feel like I definitely made the right decision, I'll miss no one from that guild except the officer that invited me. And if hes a true friend we'll still group together at times. Though I haven't heard any from him since I quit :( Sigh. I hate people some...no just about all the time.

Its nearly a week later now and I'm still guildless. Haven't had nearly as many people try to recruit me as I thought would either. Only 4 or 5 guilds total. Guess I've been in most of the guilds on the server by now lol :( Hope when and if (big IF here) I do decide I wanna join another guild that I'm able to find a good one. Worried their aren't any though, at least not on my server, because if there was I think I would've found it by now. Guilds are just like people I guess, 99.9% of them suck. Either the people in them are noobs and either can't or won't try the harder stuff such as achievements like trying to kill patch without killing any spores, or the people are super hardcore (or rather think they are hardcore)and expect you to attend 90% of raids or some crap.

Just wish I could find a guild that both 1. Doesn't require you to attend a certain number of raids and 2. Is good enough to try for and eventually succeed at doing the achievements. Why is it so hard to find both :( Easy to find a guild that fits 1 but impossible to find a guild that fits both. And after much experience with guilds I can pretty much say with certainty that I can't be happy in a guild that doesn't fit both, at least not for long.

Anyway onto other things. Will and I are doing ok I guess. We certainly seem to argue alot though :( Am worried that eventually he will get sick of all the arguments and dump me :( Last argument was because he had said yesterday that he might not be online much today because he had real life things to do. I slept all day and didn't come on till super late and when I got on he said he had to go soon. Found out he hadn't done most of the things he said he would. It really upset me because I thought the reason he'd been procrastinating on stuff so much was because he was so into chatting with me that he didn't wanna log off. Turns out he's just a really big procrastinator. I also got rather jealous that he'd been chatting with another girl online, mostly since I thought she might've been why he stayed on, it really upset me.

At first I was worried that he might be talking to her as much or almost as much as me, that totally wouldn't be cool with me if he was. I know most people will probably disagree with me (which is why none of you fools will ever have a relationship that lasts forever) but I think that if you're in a relationship you should spend more time with the one you're in a relationship with then anyone else, in face I don't think you should even spend half the amount of time with someone else that you do with your significant other. Anyway I know now he doesn't spend that amount of time with anyone else but me, but he seemed kinda like he might be open to it so I squashed those ideas :D I can be a bitch when I need to be hehe. All my ex's and other guys I've been interested in have always had female friends that they spent as much or almost as much time with as me and it made me feel absolutely horrible so I know I'm not gonna ever let him do the same. He could always lie though :( But don't think he would...he seems more honest then them I think. Then again don't I always think each person seems more honest then the last. Sigh. At least on the bright side by his visiting I can be sure that I mean something to him. Am pretty positive I was nothing more then phone/cyber sex and someone to pass the time with to my previous online ex's.

Well, thats all for now. I'm gonna try to get part 3 of the 5000 question survey done later :D Wonder if anyone ever actually finished it lol.

Ouija Board Session

2009-09-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is the ouija board session me and Will did. Most of what we got was gibberish :( The first few we got actually just went to "yes" when we asked if anyone was here then went right to bye. Maybe we scared off some of them with all our laughter and talking to each other, or we confused or annoyed them with it.

Anyway after a few of those type of sessions we asked to talk to a spirit that knows the future and I asked it what year would william die lol. It went to 2030. Then he asked "How will I die?" And it spelled out Bycycya. He thinks it meant Bay City which is where he lives and I thought it meant by a bicycle. Then he asked it "What year will Stephanie die?" and it went to 2049. Then I asked it how will I die and it gave a gibberish answer of Mawamnlay. Whatever that is. I tried to google it and closest word that seems to exist is Mawalay which looks to be a common word in some forgein language. Not sure of what language. After that it went to goodbye. Also had 1 of the gibberish ghosts go to "force" when he were laughing and saying how dumb this ghost was and asked sarcastically if it was a smart ghost.

We wrote down the sessions after that. They all pretty much start off with us asking if anyone is there and the board/spirit answering yes so I'll leave that part out. Anything in parenthesis is me thinking/commenting lol. Here's the next one:

What year is it? (I thought to ask this because I read that asking spirits what year they died in can anger/upset them).

Board: 24689240

Is that an earth year?

Board: No

Who are you?

Uoyamn

Is that your name?

Ptmp

Are you from the moon?

Otm

Are you sexually attracted to anyone in this room?

Board: No

Are you capable of being sexually attracted?

Board: Yes (wow talk about an ego bruiser!)

Do you find any humans sexually attractive?

Board: No (ok thats better lol)

How many eyes do you have?

Board: 5

How many arms do you have?

Board: 4

How many legs do you have?

Board: 0

How many mouths do you have?

Board: 1

How many ears do you have?

Board: 9

How many senses do you have?

Board: 4

What color skin do you have?

Board: Jomny

How many teeth do you have?

Board: Nz

Do you eat meat?

Board: Yes

Would you eat humans?

Board: No

Have any humans ever seen you?

Board: NY

In new york state?

Board: Yes

Do you like humans?

Board: No

Are we annoying you?

Board: Yes

Are you answering against your will?

Board: Yes

Are we causing you any harm?

Board: Yes

How are we causing you harm?

Board: Yoy amp joy

Is that english?

Board: No

Do you mean we're taking joy away from you?

Board: Yes

Do you have a choice in whether or not to talk to us?

Board: No

Would you like us to let you go?

Board: Goodbye

Next Session:

Are you human?

Board: No

Are you from the earth?

Board: Yes

Are you an animal?

Board: Yes

Were you someones pet?

Board: Yes

Me: Were you my pet?

Board: Yes

Were you a cat?

Board: Yes

What was your name?

Board: Uaw

Was that really your name?

Board: No

Was that the name I called you?

Board: Who asx

What color were you?

Board: lots

How old were you when you died?

Board: 4

Are you Furby?

Board: Shasket (more gibberish :;)

Were sending me those dreams?

Board: Yes

Are you going to be reincarnated soon?

Board: No

Why?

Board: Hoskb

Do you mean you don't want to be reincarnated?

Board: No

Me: Is it because you don't think I can have another cat now?

Board: Yes

Would you want to be reincarnated as someone elses cat?

Board: No

Me: Are you angry at me for not being able to have a cat right now?

Board: Yes (this upset me a little bit)

Are you lying?

Board: Maybe (in between yes and no so assumed maybe)

Will you ever reincarnate?

Board: Yes

Me: Will you reincarnate as my pet?

Board: No

Me: Will I know you?

Board: Yes

Will you be a relative of mine?

Board: Pid

Do you mean kid?

Board: Yes. Hels

One of Stephanies kids?

Board: Yes

How many years until you're born?

Board: 6

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Board: No

Me: Is your father in the room? (lol poor Will)

Board: (it quickly and very forcefully went off the board)

Me: Have I had had any communication with your father?

Board: Yes

Me: Does your fathers name start with a W? (lol poor will, I really made him blush with these questions)

Board: Yes

Are you playing games with us?

Board: Yes

Don't you know that its mean to play with peoples emotions?

Board: Yes

Do you like to play with peoples emotions?

Board: Yes

Are you a demon?

Board: Yes

Was this a demon the whole time?

Board: No

Where is Furby?

Board: Gawn

Do you mean she left the room?

Board: Yes

Because she was mad?

Board: No

Did you force her to leave?

Board: Yes

Do you plan to leave after?

Board: No Yat

Do you want to harm us?

Board: Yat

Why harm us?

Board: No

Are you feeding off of our reactions?

Board: Ntw

What is your name?

Board: Ntnc

Is that your real name?

Board: No

I command you to leave.

Board: No

Do you want to harm Will?

Board: No

Harm Stephanie?

Board: Yes

What is it like in hell?

Board: Fxo

We then moved it to goodbye.

Next session:

May we please talk to a spirit that knows the future?

Board: Yes

What year will Stephanie's Mom die?

Board: 2691 (lol right, so I rephrased it)

How many years until my mom dies?

Board: 39

How many years until Will's dad dies?

Board: 48

How many years until Will's mom dies?

Board: 18

Me: Will I ever be homeless?

Board: No

Will Will ever be homeless?

Board: No

What month will Stephanie die?

Board: 1

What day will Stephanie die?

Board: 7

What year will Stephanie die?

Board: 2928

Do you mean 2028 or 2029?

Board: Yes Moy

What month will William die?

Board: 10

What day will William die?

Board: 30

What year will William die?

Board: 2020 (I'll admit I tried to push the second 2 there to 3, I wanted it to say the same year as it had before for him...however I wasn't trying to move it anywhere before)

How long will William and I be together?

Board: (It went off the board so I rephrased)

How many years will William and I know each other?

Board: 3 (Hope its way more then that :()

After this we closed board because he had to go soon.

Pic's From Will's Visit Here

2009-09-08T01:17:00.001-07:00

Here's some pics from Will's visit :)

Will's Visit :)

2009-09-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Will's visit went pretty good :) But was over way too soon :( The first day (Friday) he didn't get to my house till around 5ish. He fails because when he got to the hotel he went to go out to eat first with his parents, and because they didn't have their passports so couldn't take the shorter route which would be through canada. :P Was hoping he'd arrive around 1 or 2 :( Anyway his parents drove him to my house, my mom wanted to meet them/him so she went out there with me to their car and said Hi I'm Stephanies mom blah blah. lol. His parents seemed pretty nice, well his mom at least, his dad seemed a bit standoffish and seemed maybe he didn't like me much. Bet he thinks I'm dumb too for not knowing my way around the city I've lived my whole life in.

Anyway after that they drove us to the falls. We got kinda lost lol. I felt kinda dumb that I couldn't help with directions because I've lived here my whole life. But I never really go anywhere. We split up from his parents once they parked but it seemed kinda like his dad followed us around some lol he kept seeming to find us. Anyway we wanted to go on the maid of the mist but we didn't really know where to go for it and by time we thought we figured it out it was too late for it.

We walked around the falls a ton, he took a few pictures and I had brought my digital camera along so so did I. He had his parents take a couple of us together too. He should've taken more pictures of the falls though, I guess he didn't see the point since he'll be coming back here sometime :P But still next time he comes the weather will probably be cold so yea he should've taken more pics. Hopefully his parents took alot more. Wish we could've gone over to the canadian side too but he didn't have his passport :(

Anyway we walked around the falls for like 3 or 4 hours. My legs were killing me and so were my feet! Especially since I was wearing my new sneakers. Speaking of my legs...I regret buying that one pair of jeans. They slid down on me too much and ended up rubbing against my thighs, now I have a bit of a rash there :( Ugh wish I could just for once find some jeans that fit perfectly. At least the ones I wore the next day weren't too bad. Anyway his parents wanted to stay a little longer at the falls, like maybe till the fireworks at 10 (on the canadian side they've been doing fireworks every friday at 10) but guess they decided against it because we left a little earlier then that. Not sure if canada is still doing the fireworks anymore because I don't recall hearing them at 10 either. Maybe they stopped since its September now. Before they left his parents went to the giftshop and got some stuff I think. William didn't go in and get anything though. Gah I should've insisted he get something! Well, maybe I can get him something from there sometime then :)

Anyway after we were done walking around the falls his parents dropped him off here and we hung out for a few more hours here. Unfortunately with my mom :( Kinda wish she would've gone back in her room at least lol. We had no alone time that whole day. Anyway the 3 of us watched a movie together. HG Wells The Time Machine. Was pretty good, not that I paid much attention to it. Anyway we probably could've played the ouija board that night but he didn't bring it with him :( He failed! Well, guess it was partially my fault since my mom had said she didn't want it in this house. But still, we don't need to listen to her. And had we played that night we would've then had time to go on the maid of the mist the next day. My mom brought us a pizza and some cheese fries back for dinner. 3 cheese hamburger pizza, he loved it despite them not putting any sauce on it. It was pretty good, but I wish they would've put sauce on it. In the menu it says they do yet whenever we order it theres never sauce on it. His parents picked him up around midnight and he went back to the hotel then.

He came over next day around 10:30am (wanted it to be earlier!) We were maybe gonna go on the maid of the mist but on the phone we decided not to because we still hadn't had a chance to play the ouija board and we really wanted to do that. He was leaving around 2 or 3ish so we would've only had time to do 1. Anyway we played for about 3 hours.

Wrote down some of our results. At first we had no luck at all. So we (well mostly him) visualized a bunch of energy flowing through the room or whatever. After that it worked. I was a little shocked but not too much, I'd always believed that if I ever played with 1 it would work. He on the other hand must've been very shocked, he played 1 by himself before and never had any results. That was his first time playing it with another person and my first time playing it ever. Anyway he wrote down most the sessions we did, we didn't write down the first few though. Got some interesting results but alot of gibberish too lol and our first few very quickly went to Bye. Had 1 tell us our dates of death when we asked, a demon, something from another planet that had numerous arms and ears, and a spirit that claimed to be a cat I had. I'll probably make another post later detailing more of our ouija board sessions. :)

Anyway before he had to go we made it go to "goodbye" and closed the board. He tried to visualize anything negative or that would mean us harm being forced out of the house. I kept laughing though so he couldn't really concentrate on it lol. I'm soo bad. Then he got up and we hugged and I walked him out side. His parents were already there, I awkwardly snuck in another hug with them while they watched lol. Then they drove away, I watched them drive away for a few minutes and felt sad already. He's so sweet he called me soon as I got in the house to make sure I got in ok :) <3

He posted some pics on the board from our meetup. They came out surprisingly well (his parents take good pics). I usually hate any pics of me but really like these ones. I'd look hot in them if I was skinnier lol. Will looks ok in them too but he didn't photograph as well as me in them lol, like his pics from before much better.

Anyway thats all for now I'll have to write the post about the ouija board sessions later as well as a post about wow cause I quit my guild and am now guildless lol.

Will's gonna visit this weekend!

2009-09-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

So it looks like WIll and I will be meeting on labor day weekend after all. Turns out his parents thought it would be good to visit the falls for a day and a half. He's coming on Friday, they're leaving super early, around 6ish. And they're leaving the next day in the afternoon. Wish he was staying longer. The fastest way to get here is to drive through canada, its only 4 or 5 hours that way, but they don't have their passports so they'll be going the long way so they probably won't arrive until the afternoon.

Not sure what we'll do on the visit, probably won't have much privacy :/ Gonna play ouija board for sure I think, just not sure where. My mom hates them though so ugh where will we go to play it. His hotel room lol? But he's actually gonna be staying in amherst which is about 40 mins from me and not here because the rates are cheaper. Well whatever screw my mom, we'll play it here whether she likes it or not. Hopefully she'll have a long day at work that day too. Either his parents will take me back there to chill with him while they go off and do their own thing or they will drop him off here and come back. We haven't decided yet.

I'm so anxious about him visiting. Bet I won't be able to sleep at all the night before. But am also excited. Hope he likes offline me as much as he likes online me.
I think we should write a list of things to do and what questions to ask the ouija board.

Anyway in other news, I left the house yesterday for the first time in 10 months! Had to to go clothes shopping for friday and saturday, since I've gained so much weight in the past few years, most of it in the past year :/ All my jeans are now way too tight and I only had 2 pairs of stretchy pants that didn't look or fit that well (one was almost falling off me and extremely baggy). Hmm either it got bigger somehow or I lost weight since buying it 9 or 10 months ago. So anyway I bought 2 pairs of jeans. Would've gotten more but couldn't find anything that fit good. Apparently target doesn't carry jeans for shorter people. Pretty retarded because I'm 5'4 which isn't that the average height for most women anyway? Also got a few shirts, not that I needed them that much as most I had still fit me (think 90% of the weight I gained was in my hips/ass). Took some recent pics for Will and he still likes me, overweight and all :) He'd be a hypocrite not to though since he's overweight like me. Not that that stops most guys.

I got a new book to read too(I never really read books but it looked good, its Testimony by Anita Shreve). Don't know when I'll feel in the mood to read it. I got some peanut butter m&m's as well bought all 3 of their last ones they had there :D. And got some special magazine about Michael Jackson. Am hoping to be able to sell it for a profit in 10-20 years lol. My mom says it won't ever be worth anything but she don't know shit. Got new sneakers too, really needed those, hadn't gotten any in I think 3 years, if not longer.

Anyway had a bit of embarrassment when I went to go pay. Had never used my credit card before except for buying stuff online. So I didn't know how to put it through the scanner and I put it in the wrong way :( I wanted to die from the embarrassment. Why in the world didn't my mother demonstrate for me how to do it before we went out. I swear its like she enjoys watching me fail. A big part of the reason I'm so damn dependent on other people is because she won't help to teach me how to do anything on my own. If I ever do move out, I will most likely cut off all contact with her because I hate her for this and other things.

Anyway for a change, I'm not gonna write anything about that game you guys know I always play but I will say its been down all day for maintenance. :( My next blog entry might not be until after Will visits but we'll see.

Yay Red Proto Drake :D

2009-08-27T12:54:00.001-07:00

I got my last achievement, less-rabi done a few days ago and now I'm the proud owner of a red proto drake :D I named him Pyro. Well you can't really name mounts or vanity pets in WOW but I refer to him as Pyro lol. Fitting I believe since he's red, plus it keeps with the P thing I have going lol (pretty much all my wow char names begin with a P). Actually got the achievement in a pug, well not a pug but someones guild run that was short 1 dps, so I was the only pug I guess. Took us a few tries but we got it. Think for dps we had me, a rogue and a mage, and had shaman heals, forgot what class we had for tank, either dk or warrior.

Anyway after doing all those achievements I kinda have felt like taking a break from running instances for a while. So I haven't done many raids lately. Have just been trying to stick with running heroic toc and the heroic daily every day, but usually get talked into running more. People don't seem to understand either. Yesterday Rich and I were chatting in wow, mostly about movies, anyway he asked what I was up to I just said clearing out my mail/inventory, bout to do uldaur soon. Then when it was canceled I was kinda happy because I didn't really feel like running it and I told him I was kinda happy because I didn't feel like running something. Then like 20-30 mins later he asks me if I wanna run something, I didn't reply cause well...I'd already said I didn't really feel like running something, then 10 mins later he whispers me again and asks why I'm ignoring him. I said sorry just like I said I don't really feel like running something atm and was happy when uldaur got canceled :P Then he says something like "uldaur is not something" and tries to convince me more to run something. I said nah gotta clean out my inventory here. Then he logs off wow without a word like 10-15 mins later. :/ He didn't say hi when he first logged on today either and I didn't see him login, but I checked when I logged in and he wasn't on. So I whispered him and was like hey when did you sneak on? Then he was like a little while ago sorry I didn't say hi got invited to an instance right away. I'm probably overreacting but it seems or seemed like he was mad at me.

In other wow news. My guild master is hilarious. Unfortunately I don't think he means to be. English isn't his first language (spanish is) and he gets alot of sayings mixed up, plus says alot of just funny to me sayings. Like the other day in guild chat he said something like "if the baby don't got no tits the mama can't get no milk" not sure what he was saying that for but think he was talking about the guild bank and how it had like no money so we couldn't use it for repairs. Anyway he called a guild meeting a few days ago and it was funny as heck. He was the only one talking through 95% of it too. Anyway he was mostly expressing his annoyance/disappointment towards the guild and several members that were saying bad things about non guildys in runs and apparently whispering them telling them they sucked and stuff. One thing he said that I found hilarious was "if you done this and the shoe fits please take it and put it on". Were some other funny sayings from him too during the guild meeting including him comparing the guild to a boat "a guild is like a boat if you have too many people some are gonna fall off". He didn't seem to be joking with any of the things he said either, he sounded 100% serious, which made it all the funnier. Another funny part was when he said if anyone had any questions now would be the time to ask and the silence that followed until someone piped up and asked a question about the in game calendar. LOL I wish I'd recorded the whole thing, did record like 2 small bits though for giggles.

Anyway on to a non wow subject. Me and Willy! Heh Willy, wonder if I should call him that :D Anyways things seem to be ok with him. Still not sure I can trust him though but don't expect to meet anyone I can. Another thing that bugs me is he doesn't think he can commit 100% till he's engaged. :( Well, think after several months and meetings he will change. Hope so anyway. I understand not wanting to now cause we haven't even met yet or anything, but after say 3 or 4 meetings and several months or a year that better change...if not guess we won't work out. Ugh this was supposed to be a better topic. Really though there is more bad then good here, just like their is with my wow friends. I just tend to write and focus more on the bad.

Anyway we're gonna meet in winter. I hope he's not like the other ones were and just saying he will come visit me. Though with my SA this bad, a part of me feels I could wait forever lol. :/ I think he really will come visit me though, he seems different then the others in that regard. He wanted to maybe meet on labor day but we (mostly me I think) decided it would be better to wait). Hope he's ok with that. He seemed to be, but people never seem to say when they're upset about things like that. Anyway we discussed things to do and I couldn't think of much other then walking around the falls, playing with a ouija board or going to the casino. He doesn't wanna go to the casino :( I've never really been to one and I think it'd be fun. But he's not a gambler, besides don't want him to spend even more money. As for the ouija board, I'd have to go to his hotel room to do that which might feel a little weird. But my mom won't let 1 in here she said over her dead body, she considers those things evil and says they only get demons. Apparently she thinks that no one ever sticks around as a ghost, or if they do they can't communicate via ouija boards yet demons can. Its funny, since she herself has said she has seen ghosts before. Anyway I also suggested we walk around the falls some, seems like thats all I can think of to do on our visit for now. Hmm just had another thought...hot sex. Kidding! Not until I'm married. Maybe board games? Hmm, don't wanna bore him to death though. Don't even know if he likes board games.

5000 question survey my answers part 2

2009-08-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

Part Two

101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically?

Sometimes it gives you energy and makes you feel like jumping up and down. Other times it makes you feel calm and relaxed.

102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.

Well, tbh I only really love love myself, so I'll chose people I love as a person and think are awesome people.

A Myself

B My mom (eh, not that close to her but figure she deserves this spot over my best online friends or my favorite singer).

C William (blush)

D. Rich (not the Rich I used to be friends with though this one I met in wow too)

E. Brandon Flowers (lead singer of the killers hehe)

103. How many movies have you gone to see this month?

None, I never go out to see movies. Maybe if it was a super really good one I would, like if they made a new Chuckie movie. Otherwise I'm content to wait until its out on torrent sites or something.

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for?

1. For the government to come clean and tell us about the truth on ufos/aliens.

2. For all people who cheat on their spouses to catch aids and die very painful deaths with no friends or family standing by them in their time of need.

3. For teleportation to be invented and be available at an affordable price within the next 5 years.

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense?

When I'm really stressed out over something I obsess about it and there is no possible way for me to relax :( If I'm just a little upset though I try to escape into world of warcraft by doing solo things while pretending to be afk, or I watch videos on youtube.

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car?

I don't go to school lol. So I wouldn't know anyone there lol so I'd do it for 100,000. It would be probably at least quadruple that if I attended the school and knew people there.

107. Have you ever killed an animal?

Only insects.

108. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Many people but none through death which is what I believe this question is asking.

109. What do you think of cloning?

Cloning for parts is I think a bit ethically wrong but could be a good thing for say people that have lost an arm or a leg in an accident or something and things like that assuming of course they aren't cloning an actual living person to take these parts. Cloning for the sake of bringing back people like elvis could be good in a way but wouldn't be fair to the person being cloned so I don't believe it should be done ever.

110. Do you read or watch TV more often?

Hmm. Not sure how to define either. Watch tv could also mean watching old shows on youtube and stuff and reading do you mean reading books or reading things? Because I read alot of fanfiction and other stuff online like forum posts and I also watch alot of stuff on youtube. Well I watch more tv as in sitting in front of the big flat screen thingy then I do reading books. As for reading and watching stuff online though, I think I read a little bit more stuff online then I do watch shows.

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety?

Depends what rights and freedoms I guess. I don't mind going through metal detectors and stuff like that. I would however mind being strip searched because I happened to be at an airport where an anonymous bomb threat was made or having the government tap my phone or crap like that.

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive?

Amputate his arms and legs and stick him in a prison cell.

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body?

I named my boobs before years ago but I forgot what I named them.

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV?

Yes, both. On the radio for like 10 seconds to say the name of song and artist I requested, was maybe 10 years ago lol. On tv as a kid for some telethon thing on our local access channel.

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes?

Have won free lotto tickets before lol. And omg one time I had 3 of the numbers and another 2 numbers were 1 off and another was like 10 or so off. I almost was a millionaire :(

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition?

Yes when I was a kid I won a coloring contest :D And I got a wagon from it. That was one of the most happiest days of my childhood.

117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)?

Have never watched it. If I ever decide to learn how to paint though I will.

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living?

I have no clue what any of them did. Wish I knew more about my family :/

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history?

My mom says we're related to Harry Houdini, he is a great uncle or something on my grandmas side.

120. Is there anyone you trust completely?

Nope. Probably not even myself.... :(

121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye?

Many people, but if you mean by death then no I haven't.

122. How do you feel about women in politics?

The same as I feel about men in politics. Bored.

123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool?

Well I can't swim and pools have more of a germish factor to them. I've never been in a jacuzzi before though but I'd chose jacuzzi because they have temp control and seem cleaner to me. I bet a jacuzzi would be fun for other things too hehehe :D

124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own?

Anything to do with World of Warcraft. Paranormalish stuff (mostly aliens/ufos). Other weird stuff. Tv shows and bands I like. People I stalk lol.

125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent?

No not really :(

126. Would you consider yourself to be wise?

Yes, I'd say I'm more wise then 99% of people. But it seems to do me more harm then good. :(

127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance?

Nope. Anyone wanna volunteer? ;)

128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person?

Can't remember, one said god bless to me though after I gave him change.

129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring?

Yes :D But only if I had someone to go with.

130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you?

Probably not, I don't want to live to be 200 or some crazy number like that.

131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics?

A: Nothing to kill or die for...

No world worth living in? (I'm probably wrong here but I know what song it is)

B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher...

No clue. Sounds like a crap song though.

C: I could make a film and make you my star...

my porno star forever..

Kidding. Never heard that song either.

132. Were you ever with someone while they died?

Not a person no.

133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star?

Rock star. Sounds worlds funner.

134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote?

Haha nope.

135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail?

Nope.

136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now?

Nope again.

137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen?

I don't really like or care for any animated movies. Maybe 1 of the Sailor Moon ones I saw.

138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving?

I'm gonna chose my favorite bands The Killers and Jesus Jones. Cause they rock.

139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished?

Inventing the Internet.

140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you?

Other then the obvious of being a good conversationalist and compatible with me?
Bring a weigi board on our first date or dress up as a world of warcraft character. Take me to do something fun and not a boring dinner and a movie date.

141. About how many emails do you get a day?

A shitload, 99.9% of them junk.

How many of those emails are junk mail?

See above.

How many of them are forwards?

None. I hate people that do that crap. Have had online friends in the past who were retarded enough to but thankfully no longer have any dumb friends like that.

142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site?

Play world of warcraft :D And chat on IM, mostly to one person in particular.

143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy?

Undecided. But I do think maybe Courtney might've had something to do with his death.

144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country?

Yes. It sounds kinda fun in a way, but I would never do it. I'm not trusting enough to get into any strangers car, let alone several strangers cars.

145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip?

Will! <3

146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold,

charming, dependable

Accurate because I'm always right :D

147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time?

Hmm I don't know. A part of me worries that I've been alone for so long that I wouldn't be able to settle down and get married. I've grown to really like my alone time :/ Settle down? Whats that mean exactly? I'll never be ready to settle down if it means working some 9-5 job and not playing world of warcraft for hours a day.

148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them?

No because I never see anybody lol. But online, yes I do worry about that sometimes, usually after I had an argument with the person or if its someone I don't know well.

149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out?

The next Chuckie movie. What is taking them so long to make it??? Also obviously the World of Warcraft movie.

150. What is your quest?

To have fun and live a better life then everyone else :D

151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming?

1 4 year old screaming cause the rest will just blend together and sound like background noise.

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle?

Yes, theres too many stories of it happening to not believe it.

153. Who are you the most jealous of?

My ex because he seems to have a great life now and I know he doesn't deserve it.

154. What is the happiest way you can start your day?

Not sure. I guess waking up feeling refreshed and not sad about anything would be.

155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world?

Yes, but they're extremely rare.

156. Who thinks that you are offensive?

No clue of who exactly but alot of people find me offensive because of my views on revenge and stuff.

157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people?

How to play World of Warcraft as a skilled player. Also could teach a course on the paranormal or on how to get revenge on someone or how to cyber stalk someone lol.

158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)?

Yes alot of them. Maybe I'll go into more details sometime :)

159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is?

Truly mystical.

160. Do you get offended easily?

Yes but its not my fault. Other people should be more careful with what they say and they shouldn't give unasked for advice or opinions.

161. Would you still love and stay with your significant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed?

Yes of course, only a shallow jerk wouldn't.

162. Do you believe in fate or free will?

I believe in both to a certain extent.

163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored?

No. Everyone gets bored sometimes regardless of if they themselves are a boring person or not.

164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain?

It depends on the person and how their life is obviously. Some people are stuck in bad situations and do to lack of skills or support or confidence cannot change their lifes. Alot of people with SA (me for one)fall into this category. Others have more life skills, support or emotional strenght and therefore can change their situations

165. What changes are you afraid of?

Growing old and getting wrinkles and gaining yet even more weight. My mom dying and me being all alone with no way to support myself. Falling in love and the person leaving me.

166. Are you a day person or nocturnal?

Neither. I can never stick to a schedule. Usually I'm up at nights though. But most of my energy I have when I wake up, it goes away the longer I'm awake, especially after I eat.

167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)?

The Killers- Day And Age

168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office?

I've never worked in any but I'm sure its not working in an office. If I had to guess I'd say food service.

169. What's the coolest job you ever had?

Penny saver/newspaper route because it was the only job I ever had.

170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to?

That everyone is a liar :(

171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress?

Kinda at times, mostly when I was a kid.

172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do?

My ex Ed. I'd make him travel all over to torture all my enemies and leave them blinded or with cut off limbs then I'd make him kill himself.

173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like?

I'm a cancer. We're supposed to be the needy, whiny, overly emotional sign lol.

174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you?

Didn't watch it actually.

175. Are you in constant fear of death?

Nope, at least not my own. Fear my mom dying but am not in a constant state of fear over that either.

176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life?

No, does anyone even fear death that much?

177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen?

Not sure what wide screen means.

178. Are you a fan of any comic books?

Nope. Never even really read any except some mario bros ones when I was a kid.

179. At what age did you attend your first funeral?

I've never been to a funeral.

180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)?

Nothing thankfully. Sweat=gross and so are chemicals like cologne/perfume.

181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom?

Life and observing other people.

182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from?

My friends told me actually lol. I was about 8 or 9.

183. What is your favorite band?

The Killers. They're the best band ever and anyone that doesn't like them has horrible taste,

184. What's the best cheesy 80's song?

Murry Head- One Night In Bangkok http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlL0jB0j3YA

185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date?

There is no best kind. Just whatever both people will enjoy.

186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater?

Middle I guess.

187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building?

Don't think so.

188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free?

That I really really enjoy the job. Which is unlikely to ever happen lol. Even if I did enjoy it, I wouldn't like having to stick to a schedule to do it.

189. Candles or strobe lights?

I have no idea what strobe lights are. But I'll chose that since I've always thought candles were a retarded idea and not in the slightest bit romantic. Strobe lights sounds kinda sexy too whatever it is.

190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much?

No clue, I never watched or read any of the LOTR books or movies.

191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat?

Umm neither? I don't give people I'm passing by on the street that much thought.

192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural?

Cultural. We (or at least I) distrust others because of how other people act and the things they do.

193. What do you really want to buy?

A feather bed. A house lol.

194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love?

I wouldn't be happy with either. I guess I'll go with the rich guy lol. Then maybe in a few years I can divorce them and get half their money then maybe I could find one I love lol.

195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help?

I don't know. Maybe something to do with understanding people with social anxiety.

196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'?

Totally. We should do away with the "one nation under god" line in the pledge of allegiance. Actually that things super old anyway...someone should just write a new one.

197. In what sense are you a minority?

I'm still a virgin, have social anxiety, am not working (probably not a minority anymore in this economy lol) haven't graduated from high school, am a misanthropist, am an introvert. Wow, I'm alot of minorities lol.

198. Are you anti social?

Yes. Theres very few people I ever feel like being around and I love to be alone.

199. Do you photograph well?

No :( I think I actually look worse in photos then I do in real life.

200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter?

A select few probably would, due to underground shelters or something like that.

5000 questions my answers part 1

2009-08-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

My fans and friends will love this :D I've decided to take the longest survey ever, the famous 5000 question one! Heres part 1, I can only do this 100 questions at a time, because no matter how awesome I am 5000 questions at once is just too much for me! Here's the link to it btw, I expect you all to take it too :) http://5000questionsur.livejournal.com

Part one
1. Who are you?

My friends know who I am, I'd rather not give this info to my stalker :P

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

- I'm a good 1-1 conversationalist online and I hate it when other people don't contribute to keep the conversation going. I can talk about just about anything though, except for boring things like politics or history lol. I could even spend hours describing cartoon episodes I like and talking about things I did as a child. It upsets me when other people can't make conversation. Mostly I like to talk about wow though and tv shows I watch. But even if someone doesn't play wow I can still hold a conversation with them (unless like 99% of people they suck at it). For example if someone goes on a trip they should be able to reply with more then just "ok" or "great" when I ask how it went and if they do reply like that then when I ask them what they did on it they should say more then "went to seaworld or w/e". If it was me that had went on the vacation I'd reply way better then 99% of people I'd say what I did while at seaworld, etc.

- Not to lie to me because I always find it out and when I do you will be cut out of my life quicker then you can snap your fingers and I will also make you pay for it.

- I'm not interested in being friends with people who aren't misanthropist, anyone who can't see that the majority of people are bad is either 1. extremely naive or (more likely) 2. not a good person themselves and therefore not a good judge on whether the vast majority of people are or not.

3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?

Playing world of warcraft usually. If not that then posting or viewing some forum. watching tv or youtube, blogging, chatting on msn, or cyber stalking someone lol. If I'm not online then I'm either sleeping, cooking, eating, or showering.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).

Gosh thats more then 10 years ago now. Well let me think...

Art, english, science, french/spanish, math, gym

5. What is your biggest goal for this year?

To hit 8000 achievement points in WOW. Eventually I'd like to have the highest achievement score on my realm but that might be a bit unrealistic because the highest person on my realm so far is already near 10k points and I'm not even at 7500 yet.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Not sure how to answer this because I'm not exactly sure what this question means. But I'd like to be living in a house with much more privacy and where my mom couldn't hear everything I'm doing. But more so I'd like to actually have met my soulmate and be living with and married to them. I was gonna answer more but since this question asks where you want to be and not what you want or how you want to be I'll leave it at that. Since this survey has 5000 questions I'm sure their will most likely be other questions that asks that.

7. What stage of life are you in right now?

Well not sure how to answer this one either, I'm 27. I don't work or go to school so in some ways I'm in the toddler stage. I'm silly and like video games so in some ways I'm in the child stage. I'm awkward and pissed at the world so in some ways I'm in the teenager stage. I'm mature in how I act so in some ways I'm in the adult stage. I'm wise and knowledgable about the world so in some ways I'm in the old person stage. So all of the above? lol.

8. Are you more child-like or childish?

I'm not childish because to me that means immature, and I'm defiantly not immature. I'm not sure if I'm child-like either because that to me means being naive and also to be excited easily about things, and I'm definitely not naive, sometimes I get excited easily though, depends on my mood. But being child-like can also mean to have a playful/silly nature and that is me. So if I had to chose I'd definitely say I'm more child-like then childish.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?

Probably "It's so damn hot in here".

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

Nowhere Girl by Bmovie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L10MCIP5niA&feature=related

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?

No I haven't and have no interest in it now. However I wish I'd had some as a kid maybe then I could've beaten up some of the kids that used to pick on me.

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?

It varies but usually stays the same, followed closely by worst, and finally by better. The past few years though its either been the same or worse except for brief periods.

13. Does time really heal all wounds?

Hell no, some things can't be healed, ever, Time does heal alot of wounds though. For me it heals them but never fully and it leaves a big nasty scar on my soul.

14. How do you handle a rainy day?

A rainy day doesn't effect me any since I'm in the house 24/7 regardless. But if I did have plans(lol) it would depend on what they were. But most likely wouldn't change them unless it was a really bad t storm. I love the rain actually, I wish it rained more and made that annoying big orange ball in the sky hide more often.

15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?

Losing your luggage for sure. If I were going on a trip I'd bring along my favorite clothes and cds and a portable cd player (I'm one of those few people without an ipod) and I wouldn't wanna any of it. Sorting out holiday lights is no big deal...if they gave me too much trouble I'd just chuck them out and order new ones. But I can't imagine it taking too long to untangle them. Then again I haven't had to untangle christmas lights since I was a kid.

16. How is your relationship with your parents?

With my mother its alright I guess. She's far from the best mom though and if I didn't live with her I probably wouldn't talk to her all that often. I can't really forgive her for being so poor when I grew up. She should've gotten a job long before I was almost 18. I got made fun of mercilessly in school about my buck teeth because we couldn't afford braces. She also put me in a psyc ward when I was 14 because I was breaking things. To this day I hold that against her...she said 1 day I would thank her for it, well that day will never come. The problem should've been fixed by fixing the cause (getting my teeth fixed and cable tv, nice clothes, getting kids in school to stop bullying me, etc, things all teens should have) not by forcing me in a psych ward and on meds. Anyway I'm getting my revenge on her now in a way since I'm an adult and shes supporting me (well I get SSI too but I'm still living at home, plus SSI don't pay for much). Anyway my mom and I have never been close even when I was a kid.

With my father, non existent, he hasn't been in my life since I was 7 or 8. He never bothered to pay child support and when I was a child he even denied I was his in court. But then when I was a teen and an adult a few times he's gone up to my mom or me saying he still loves us blah blah blah. I even had friends with me a few times and it was soooo embarrassing. I hate him and its far too late now, he will never be a part of my life.

Will you miss them when they are gone?

My mother I will. My father I won't give a crap, except I hope he dies very unhappy and it would make me angry if he didn't.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?

I'm very aware because I find it hard to tune out outside noises.

18. What is the truest thing that you know?

That every human living right now will one day die.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up?

When I was little I just wanted to be a housewife with a rich husband. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a disc jocky.

20. Have you ever been given a second chance?

I guess this means romantically. Yes I have though after breaking up with my bfs at the time and regretting it I asked for 1. I made a mistake in asking though because even though they did take me back they still didn't change the things that made me break up with them in the first place.

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

Taker I think. I used to be more giving but I learned the hard way that I shouldn't be so nice.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?

To a point. I'm not very open minded when it comes to some things because I learned from experience not to be. Like for example when it comes to being friends with say an optimist, I'm not open minded about that because every single one I've been or tried to be friends with ended up being either a jerk or judgemental.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Getting stung by a bee when I was 8. Or maybe falling off my bike and landing hard on my forehead when I was also 8. I've been a bit lucky in that I've never broken or sprained anything.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?

This is hard to say. When my last online ex broke up with me was very painful. When a few months after that my best friend that I knew since I was 7 betrayed me by lying (I found out he was pretending to be another person online) was painful too. When my favoritest cat ever Furby died years ago that was very painful too. And when I found out my last close friend months ago was lying to me about many things and that friendship ended was painful too. I can't really chose what of the above was the most painful.

25. Who have you hugged today?

I haven't hugged anybody this year, let alone today. :(

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?

Uhhhhhh. Someone had a dream about me last night if that counts lol.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?

Kind of. I'm very very wise but theres alot of intellectual things I don't know and I need to learn how to budget money and take care of myself.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

A. Learn how to take care of myself and be independent.

B. Learn how to hack other people and places without getting caught.

C. Learn how to make awesome youtube videos.

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?

I remember all. I guess what they do though because I remember more things in my life that I've done with people then actual conversations or things people said to me. And even now thinking back I remember the crappy things people I was once close to did more then the things they said to me or how it made me feel.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?

Honesty, similar values/beliefs and simular interests and most importantly putting each other before anyone and anything else. These are the only things that every relationship needs, the rest all depends on the 2 people involved.

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

1. Fall in love with my perfect match who would be my soulmate

2. Get married to said soulmate

3. Be able to say and know its true that I lived a better and happier life then anybody that ever hurt me in any way.

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?

A Being alone in the world with no family or close friends (which will probably happen after my mother dies)

B Getiing really old and losing my mind.

C Getting really old and being in physical pain due to disease or something.

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?

No sex before marriage...it causes a good bit of the problems in the world.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The 19..

20's: fluffy dresses, musicals

30's: radio, my grandma, war of the worlds

40's: roswell, aliens, ufos, government conspiracy

50's: elvis, my mom, black and white tv

60's: hippies, pot

70's: bad hair, funny clothes

80's: big hair, my early childhood, the smurfs, new wave, mtv

90's: computers, internet, high school, rap, grunge rock, kurt cobain, brit pop

2000's (so far): internet, cell phones, ipods, reality tv

2010's: robots, last season of lost :(, getting older

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?

1990s because the ages of 8-11 were then for me and those were sadly the best years of my life.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?

The Kings, Switching To Glide http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTjG8E1utyA

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?

USA and Obama is the president.

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?

"Does the government have any knowledge of aliens visiting us and is the government working with them?" Not that I'd really expect a truthful answer lol but I could at least have some idea of if he's lying by reading his body language.

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?

Don't really have 1. Maybe sci-fi or crime channel though if I had to pick one.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?

I don't really know of any disney villians sigh...let me go look some up.

Ok...after reading the char bios at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disney_Villains I'll say Aunt Sarah from Lady In The Tramp because I love cats and if I was ever a mother in law I'd probably be a huge busybody lol.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?

Nope, I probably would've liked it though as a kid.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?

I assume flying would be much faster and I'd probably get seasick so fly.

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?

Cause the sun lights the sky up during the daytime, duh.

43. What does your name mean?

Crowned one.

Which I should be crowned..crowned ruler of the world hehe. I don't really like my name though just the meaning.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?

Outer space for sure...who would chose the ocean?!

45. Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air: clouds

Meat: steak

Different: me

Pink: babies

Deserve: me

White: wedding

Elvis: presley

Magic: wand

Heart: red

Clash: music

Pulp: fiction

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?

Would be a tough choice between Albert Einstein and Jesus Christ but I think I'd chose Jesus. I'd wanna ask him about religion and who goes to hell and about reincarnation and life on other planets and if their are other universes and all kinds of questions that only God or Jesus would know. Of course we my luck I'd meet him and find out he was just a regular man good at tricking people. Still would be worth it though just to know that.

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?

My soulmate heh.

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?

Theres a few movies I think are awesome but none of them are that awesome.

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?

I'd bring a laptop and a portable tv but I don't have either so I guess I'd bring as many books as possible to read.

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?

I saved a baby birds life before when I was 11 if that counts.

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words...

Fruitgoogle: A person obsessed with stalking people on google.

Ambytime: Club dancing time.

Asscactus: A mean person who is also ugly.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?

Uhh...myself orgasm? I don't know oh probably dinner I guess.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?

My wagon I was soooooo happy when I won it in a contest when I was 9.

54. How many TV’s are in your house?

1 in use thats less then a year old and 1 in storage thats a couple years old.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Look for UFOs in the sky hehe.

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?

Rainbows don't effect how I feel but I think they're pretty.

57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?

I have, have dreamt that people were lying to me about certain things and it turned out to be true.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?

No but I'd love to go to one, I'd just have to research them some first to make sure they weren't one of the many phonies.

59. What is your idea of paradise?

A place where no one is mean or lies to anybody. Where everyone likes everybody and where theres alot to do and you're never bored.

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?

I believe that there is not one God god but rather we're all in a way gods. I believe that we get reincarnated over and over until we learn and experience all that we need to then we become gods (but I'd call them spirit guides) who help others to achive godness.

61. Do you believe in Hell?

Yes but not in the bibical sense. I believe hell is a place of punishment where only the worst of the worst go and that nobody no matter how bad stays there for eternity.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?

Gone over 6 months without leaving the house lol.

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?

Not sure :/ Probably rescusing stray cats and keeping them as pets.

64. Are you a patient person?

Not really. I don't like waiting for other people and they shouldn't be rude enough to make me wait. Waiting for things annoys me too.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?

Revenge day....a day where its considered socially acceptable to get revenge and where those who've wronged people are scared to leave the house.

66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?

Valentines day. It's a retarded idea of a holiday that only serves to depress single people and make people in relationships feel obligated to spend money. There should be no designated day to show the one you love how you feel, you should be doing it everyday, maybe not buying stuff everyday but buy it on your anniverserys or just when you're feeling especially grateful, not because hallmark tells you to.

67. What's the best joke you ever heard?

Hmm I don't know but here's a good one:

A girl is falling asleep in her R:E lesson at school and her teacher wants to catch her out so she asks her a question,

"Amy, who invented the Earth?"

so the boy next to her trys to wake her up by poking her with his pencil and she sits up and screams,

"God Almighty"

"Thats right" the teacher replies.

A little while later Amy starts to fall asleep again so the teacher trys to catch her out again with another question.

"Amy, what was the name of the lords son?"

Again, the boy next to her pokes her with his pencil.

"Jesus christ" Amy shouts.

"thats right" the teacher replies, now starting to get annoyed.

Once more, Amy falls asleep so the teacher trys one more time.

"Amy, what did eve say to adam after they had there 21st child"

the boy next to her pokes her again.

Amy then shouts......For f**k sake, if you poke me with that once more im going to snap it and stick it up your ass.

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?

The local fair with a friend when I was like 10.

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?

My hair is dark brown and its natural...I swear the sunlightened it though because it was black when I was a kid.

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?

I'm pretty upfront mostly I mean look how much I reveal here for one.

71. What is under your bed right now?

Nothing.

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?

Depends but if its like in the movie I'd wanna go home, after staying there for at least a few days or weeks and exploring and gathering proof I'd been there.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?

I don't drive.

74. What is the world's best song to dance to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuw7tcftAoU

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?

I've never danced with anybody.

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?

Warner Brothers.

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?

Lions.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?

No but I've never had the chance so I can't be sure I wouldn't be.

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?

I don't see why we would, I think weather would just all stay the same everywhere on earth then.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?

Play World Of Warcraft.

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?

One right. Definatly would chose right to smoke if that counts as a "right". It does no good to anyone and its so gross and I hate second hand smoke.

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?

Well north pole is cooooold and completly covered in ice so I'll have to say the equator.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?

Watching television of course...I could still watch all my favorite shows online or download them off a torrent site :D Is that cheating? Oh well.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero?

Being brave and doing something that helps others even though it scares you.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?

Powerpuff Girls. I'd be the 4th, evil powerpuff girl whose special ingrediant would be chemical x thrus making me stronger then all 3 puffs and I'd take over the world with the help of Mojo Jojo!

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:

The smell of shit.

87. What was the last thing you paid for?

I don't remember lol...my mom pays for everything. Probably when I bought my last CD online last year which would be The Killers album Day & Age

88. Are you a coupon clipper?

No

89. Get anything good in the mail recently?

No :(

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?

Bowling I guess. They all sound pretty boring though, especially dancing.

91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So...

Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?

No because we're more then memories, we have souls and you aren't the same person just because you have all their memories. And even if we don't have souls, I know I'm here and I'm me, no one else can ever be me.

92. What insects are you afraid of?

All of them. *shudder*

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?

"Pessimists are the true realists."

94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?

Err I dunno, different colorerd show laces (pink on one shoe and white on the other) in 6th grade)

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?

Cheese because I put it on almost everything. Hardly a day goes by that I don't eat cheese in some form.

96. What are your parents interested in?

My mom has an interest in all things paranormal like me, she is also interested in true crime, board games, dogs, monkeys, smoking and writing.

I have no clue what mr. deadbeat is interested in.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?

Ewww no.

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?

Lol, no.

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?

Wishes because my plans never work out right.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?

No clue what this means. I feel the most energetic when I first wake up though.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?

A water bottle, blankets, a laptop if I had one but since I don't I'd bring bug spray. Would sure be one long scary night.

Yay achievments! Not yay that most wow players are morons

2009-08-16T09:04:00.002-07:00

Woot I hit 7000 achievement points in wow :D I'm so proud of myself. And now I'm in the top 50 for highest achievers in my realm. :D Also I'm really close to getting the glory of the hero meta achievement now :D http://www.wowhead.com/?achievement=2136 Never ever though I would have a chance in hell of getting that, but now I think I might. I'm so glad I quit my last guild. Not to say I love the one I'm in now, but for 5 mans they're awesome, always easy to find people that wanna run heroics for achievements. My last guild was full of scrubs who cared about gear more then achivments, this one cares more for the achievements like me. I've done a ton of achievements this week hehe, not just 5 man ones either, got a ton of ones in 10 man uldaur earlier too, and finally got the one for getting all my old burning crusade reps exalted lol. I think I've gotten over 200 achievement points this week :D

We had to wait till super last at night though to do some occulus achievements the other night. We tried earlier but for over an hour we couldn't get in the instance. I'm so sick of that "additional instances cannot be launched" bullcrap. We had it again last night too and gave up and went to do other things for a while. They should have fixed it by now. Its existed for months, though hasn't made instances this unplayable until patch, probably because now everyone is running badges for the new gear. Would think a multi million dollar company would have more then enough money to have fixed it already so I dunno wtf they're thinking. My friend who plays says he thinks its because they wanna do it without causing much down time. I'm like well this problem is so annoying that I wouldn't mind wow being down for a day or 2 if it would only fix it already. Of course I'd want and expect that those days be credited to my account, and so would most people probably. So maybe thats why those cheapos running wow won't upgrade. Pisses me off though, especially since I'm paying for this game.

Anyway as I said we did occulus the other night, we had already decided we would do achievements there but not which ones. I already had amber void and I didn't wanna do make it count yet (timed one is supposed to be the hardest achievement in game)so I suggested using 5 amber drakes to get both the ruby and emerald void achievements at the same time. Took us many hours, and the stupid server restarted on us too on 1 attempt, but we finally got it :D So now I only have 4 achievements left for my meta :D Only think 2 of them will really give me trouble, the remaining occulus one of course and the less rabi one. I'm actually worried I won't get the meta just because of those 2. We attempted both last night and failed on both. I do think with more practise we can get the occulus one though probably. The less-rabi one though...I don't know how the hell we didn't get it. We interrupted all his transforms and none of us saw him change into a mammoth. I guess he must've done it right as he died. That or it's bugged or something. :(

I finally started having some luck with caster loot dropping in the new heroic too. Got the leather pants and boots both a couple days ago :D Also got the caster ring the day after that. I was careful to make sure I didn't get into any groups with anyone else who would need them. Actually had another shaman who said they would roll on the LEATHER boots. Friggen shamans, they can wear mail, need to learn to keep their idiot hands off of leather and cloth. You don't see me rolling on cloth over priests, mages and warlocks. Well, except the other day when I rolled and won and gave it to the mage so the shammy couldn't have :D Anyway I dropped that group. And 1 person seemed upset after I left so I whispered to them "sorry but not looking to lose my leather boots to a mail wearer" then they got all pissy and said I was being greedy. WTF? Geez some people. I don't know why I bother being nice to people, especially strangers, they're always rude back to me. He also said "beggers can't be chosers". Whatever the fuck that means, because I have no trouble at all finding groups. After I left that one I found another 1 in less then 5 mins. I tried to whisper him back to tell him off but he had put me on ignore. I would've done the same if I hadn't long ago run out of room on my ignore list. Already ran into 3 rude people this week alone on wow. They need to make the ignore list and friendship lists both be infinite.

Speaking of annoying people in wow. This girl in my guild, (I think I mentioned her before) has to be one of the most annoying people I've ever come across online. She's so damn loud and she acts like shes 13 years old, talks like it too, but she's not. 2 people quit the guild last night because of her, she was getting all pissy with them over something. I don't exactly know what happened because I have her muted on vent. Anyway the 2 people that quit the guild were 2 of the only 3 people I like in this guild. I almost quit myself, but I wanna progress some and no other guild I've come across has been any good either, so I'll stay in this 1 just for the progression. Anyway she needs to grow the fuck up. She won't even let the guild invite any other rogues or feral druids into it because she doesn't want to compete for gear. Could you imagine if everyone was like that? The guild would have like 10 people. My offspec is feral though, and eventually I'll wanna roll on feral gear too, I can't imagine the fit she'll throw then. We actually didn't have enough for our 25 man TOC so we had to get some pugs. They wanted to invite a rogue, but she threatened to leave if they did. They fucking listened to her too and didn't take any rogues. I can't believe she's an officer. She's engaged to one of the other officers so that might be why. Anyway she needs to grow the fuck up and they shouldn't indulge her.

Anyway as for non wow stuff. Someone I talk to had a dream about me the other night. Yay! Not yay that I didn't look or act like myself in it though! Hmph! Well, at least he dreamt about me, very few people online have, heck even very few people offline have. Or maybe they just don't tell me lol. I'd tell someone if I dreamt about them though! Anyway my dream last night was about a cute little kitten playing :D I was laughing in the dream too, 1 of the happiest dreams I ever had I think. Maybe I was the kitten? The odd thing with 90% of my dreams is I seem to not be in them lol, I seem to just be observing like a tv show. So even I don't dream of me!

Speaking of tv shows, I heard one of the contestants on Big Brother, Chima got kicked off the show for inappropriate behavior, apparently she threw her mic into the hottub and refused to put it back on and cussed out the producers. I'm glad shes gone, she was such a bitch. Not that I like Russel any better, he's a total bully/jerk. I'm hoping Jeff, Jordan or Michelle wins. Can't wait to watch Tuesdays episode and see more of Chima going psyco. I found it hilarious how her, Lydia, and Natalie were actually sitting at the table crying their eyes out about Jesse leaving. Like Kevin said they were acting like the he died or something, geez.

Anyway thats all for now, I'll try to update sooner next time :)

Video Games Are NOT Bad

2009-08-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

So my friend decided not to subscribe to wow :( Said something about how he's worried he'll get addicted. Which to me doesn't make much sense since he wasn't even on it that often but even if he had been I don't see the problem. I'll never understand this attitude that 99% of people seem to have about video games being bad for you. I mean really...how in the world is it any different then someone that goes out every night with friends? Its a hobby just as anything else. Even my one friend that plays thinks its bad for you. He's on it alot too when he does play, but doesn't seem to have much trouble taking a break from it if real life stuff is going on, he even stopped playing for a few months 1 time due to RL stuff. So people can say its addictive or some other crap but truth is, if whatever you were gonna do you decided not to do because of WOW then it must not have been very fun, or maybe it was fun, just not as fun as wow, so why not play wow lol. People shouldn't not do something just because they're worried it will prevent them from doing other things...I mean really it most likely won't prevent them, and if it does thats a sign that maybe their other activities just aren't as fun as they'd thought. Now if someone has a job or something that they're skipping wow for, that might be a different story, however if they're skipping work for video games there would more then likely be something else they would skip work for if video games didn't exist.

They also mentioned something about it being easier to just play wow then do the other things because of their SA. To that I think well easier is funnier too. But thats another thing I just don't get about people with SA, why try to overcome it, its not like there are very much decent people out there, and if you happen to meet someone that is decent I'm sure they will understand and not pressure you to go out and do things you aren't comfortable with. My dream best friend would be like that, they wouldn't necessarily have SA but they would be a huge misanthropist with very little desire to be around people, other then me. I guess it could be seen another way though, being that since people suck, why should we feel any anxiety around them. I don't really have that much SA around people I don't know unless I think they might be someone I'd like to be friends with or I'm scared of them for some reason. I get it really bad if I'm with someone I know though in a group where I don't know or dislike the others. Mostly because I'm worried this person I like will do something mean to me or something likewise hurtful with the others. Probably because thats what happened to me many times in the past :(

Anyway back to the subject, I'm on wow almost 24/7, but I'd stop right now if something funner came along. But most things just aren't fun. Partying/bar hopping/clubbing/etc? boring! plus being around people=ugh Sports? boring! Outdoorsy activities? boring!

The things I find fun and will and do stop or afk in wow for are:

- Good conversation on msn, or someone I know can carry a convo on the phone (I have known very very few people like this though, maybe 1% of people I have come across in my life have been good at conversation).

- A challenging board game opponent, preferably for scrabble though I like most board games, I suck at chess though

- Opportunity to investigate something paranormal, say a UFO, or better yet the chance to play on a Ouija board with someone (but not in my house!)

- A really interesting tv show (like Lost)

- Music videos of bands I like

- Adorable baby kittens playing <3 Ok so I wouldn't log out of wow to watch this, but I'd definitely pay more attention to the kitties.

Wow won't and doesn't prevent me from doing any of those, however I mostly have a lack of being to find anyone cool enough for most of the above which usually prevents me from spending much time away from wow. I don't spend all my time on the net in wow though, I also read/post on some forums, read fanficion, etc. But I certainly wouldn't give up wow for anything since wow is just as fun as any of them, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on my mood. Would actually like to do most of the above things more, but I'm not gonna go out ghost hunting alone and have no one to play board games with, etc. :(

Now as for the people who think its bad not so much as because they claim its addictive but more because its an online game well to that I say wtf. Isn't the object of a hobby to umm you know, have fun? If wow is fun, how in the world is it a bad hobby yet their mindless drinking, partying and whatever else is supposed to be good?? Its not just the social morons who think video games are bad either, people also think outdoorsy stuff, reading, sports watching, dancing, etc are good hobbies but somehow they see video games as this horrible horrible thing. I bet a good chunk of them have never even played a video game past the age of 12 so what the hell would they know anyway.

Speaking of wow...people that can wear plate or mail need to stay the fuck away from leather and cloth gear if theres a leather or cloth wearer in the party. Can't believe this greedy shaman earlier trying to roll need on cloth gear. So I hit need too, I won it and traded it to the mage who thanked me and said they're gonna send me 100 gold for it. Wonder if they really will lol. And this was a guild run too. People are such selfish pricks. Well, I'll be sure not to run with them again, since I asked them and their excuse was "It was a huge upgrade for me". They can wear mail and mages can't, so to be fair they should've passed. Not gonna chance them stealing my leather gear if it drops, theres alot there I need.

New Patch Is Awesome, People Not So Awesome

2009-08-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

Wow was not up until way late like 7 or 8pm when they did the maintenance the other day. My friend joked that he should get an extra day on his trial, I agree. I should get a free day too for that. Anyway it was patch day which was why it took so long. Its never up at the time they say it will be on patch day. Would think they'd learn by now that if its patch day they won't have the servers up at same time and would so put that on the login screen at first.

Anyway new patch is awesome :D Can now get 13 champion seals a day, which is over double the previous amount of 5 :D Will take alot less time now to get the rest of the seals I need to buy my last 2 mounts and the pets and tabards. What sucks though is they changed some of the dailys to make it where the valiant and champion ones aren't to kill the same stuff. Bummer because I liked getting credit for doing 2 dailys at once lol. Was gonna stay a valiant until I got everything I needed from all the cities I was already a champion with before I became 1 with my last city but decided to just go ahead and become a champion with last city now because of that.

The new 5 man instance is especially awesome. Fun and short and lots of great loot drops (quite a few upgrades for both my specs in there on heroic mode). I've had the worst luck yet so far though and nothing for me has dropped :( I'm happy about the emblems of conquest dropping from heroics now though, means I'll get upgrades soon either way. So won't take me long to get my boomkin spec doing as much dps as my feral spec now. Alot of people QQ'd about that though because they didn't want people being able to get uldaur quality gear from running 5 mans. Well screw them, not everyone likes to raid. Me I like to raid, but I couldn't ever find guilds that did the highest end game content and didn't have jerks raid leading. If I was better with people I'd start my own guild, but I can't deal with people near that much.

And speaking of guilds, ran into an officer from the last one I quit in game while out questing. I said that I hope no ones mad at me for quitting the guild. And he said something like "nah people leave all the time no biggie". I acted cool about it but I was thinking to myself wtf. Don't they miss me any? And he didn't even say anything about me being welcomed back if I ever decided I wanted to come back nor anything about "sorry O treated you that way". Not that I want back in that guild but I was their best player and O was a total ass to me they fucking should've been begging for me to come back. But it seems like none of the officers care or are glad I'm gone, I don't get it, jealousy maybe? Oh well they're all a bunch of noobs anyway. I prefer the one I'm in now even though I think more of the people here are jerks then in my last one. Like someone said to me once before, its not like any of your guildys would ever be your friends still if you quit the game. So that to me means its better to be with people skilled at the game then nice people. Of course "nice" people usually are just better at hiding their bad side anyway. The guild I'm in now though recently changed their no pug rule, thank god. If they hadn't I'd probably get kicked soon or by now lol. Sure wish I hadn't pugged nax 25 yet this week though, the run I got saved to sucked. But I'm saved so mine as well go to the continuation of it they scheduled for tonight. /sigh

Anyway on to a non wow subject but related to yet again people sucking. What is with some people??? Had a guy I used to be online friends with send me a message on the website we met on. Said he'd like to get back in touch. Anyway heres the message, is it just me or does he sound really cocky? If I remember right thats mostly why I stopped talking to him, he always had this idea that I liked him or would want to be more then friends with him, when truth is I never had any interest in him and at the time actually liked someone else.

"You probably don't remember me but my name is Jonathan and ages ago, we talked a bit and you actually introduced me to OKCupid and I remember thanking you since that's how I met some people off there but then something happened and we stopped talking. It's been ages but I was kinda hoping we could talk again, just as friends. It's a long story but I wouldn't mind talking, just as friends if you don't mind."

Notice how he says "just friends" twice. I have quite a few personality and other requirements for a bf, if I wanted one which I'm not sure I do. I'd never be interested in him, I don't like guys that are more experienced then me or are so cocky, plus he doesn't fit most other things I'd want either. The nerve, he'd be lucky if I ever was interested but I'm not and never was. But if I was though, to be rejected by someone like him? He isn't much to look at, and this seems another case I'm all too familiar with of the barely average looking guy only wanting hot chics. Really annoying no matter what and needless to say I won't be replying, he sent it a few months ago anyway. I hadn't checked that site in that long lol.

Anyway thats all for now.

Dear Blog Stalker

2009-08-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

Well the wow servers are still down (darned patch day!) and I'm bored and I know someone is waiting for a post so......

Hey you! Yes you, Mr. Verizon Internet Services.

I don't think I can begin to tell you how thrilled I was to find out someone was viewing my blog 5 times a day everyday for the past month. To think that I'm that awesome and interesting that someone out there is thinking of me such an insane amount of time. I certainly don't think anything in here is so interesting, but I'm glad someone does. Is this blog your home page? Seems to be the first thing you do when you wake up and last thing you do before you go to bed. I'm really flattered <3

And who are you? I'm pretty positive we aren't friends. It looks like you're near PA, though your location in my logs just says United States. I think PA because of phlapa.fios.verizon.net I assume Philadelphia from that? But a site I put your IP in at puts you in Kansas. o_O Can't say I've never known anyone from either place, but I don't think I've ever had a very close online friend from either.

If you find me so interesting though, why don't you just PM me on SAS? Rest assured that I have no clue who you are, but I know you got referred from the link in my sig from one of my posts there. I get PM's there all the time so I still wouldn't know you were the one viewing this either if you did PM me. But seriously...if you're thinking about me so often, don't you think you should just you know, try to talk to me? And if you did and I ignored it, I'm sorry. Sometimes I put off replying and then I forget ever to. But hows this? I promise to reply to every PM I get for the next 2 weeks. I'll even talk to you if you're some ugh...optimist or something. I normally wouldn't, but you like me so much that I'll make an exception for you. :)

And I know you didn't vote on that poll. So are you possibly someone I used to be friends with? If so, as long as you're not the Rich, Josh, or Jerry who I mention in my intro post, or one of my ex's feel free to contact me. Oh and if you are one of those GTFO of my blog kk thank you. Otherwise, seriously, tell me who you are, I've always dreamed of having a stalker so I'm flattered and I won't be upset <3

At the very least you can reply do this anonomously and tell me if we ever were friends or not...seriously.

Retards in WOW and This Guild Fucking Sucks

2009-08-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

Ok this guild isn't anywhere near as skilled as I originally thought. Well I guess it's not the guild so much as the people they pug, we never have enough for even half a guild run. They certainly could pug much better people though, instead they take anyone, then are shocked and upset when the people suck. We had 2 flame levi hard mode fail runs this week. Tried it like 10 times yesterday and another 10 today with 2 towers up, wiped over and over. Finally did down flame levi today, but we had to take down all towers to do so. Most of our wipes were from the idiots shotting down pyrate accidentally aggoring the boss. Especially this one noob today. That noob also at one attempt kept shotting at the add before flame levi comes out even though we had like 20 people in vent and in game chat yelling for him to stop and let it reset.

Anyway for 25 man they do just flame levi every week. And judging from these runs they pug alot and wipe alot for it. I know they have a no pug rule but fuck that. A bit ironic to have a no pug rule for a guild that has to pug to fill runs. If I can get another group once it resets I'm going with that group.

Also their no pug rule even is for VOA! I pugged both 10 and 25 VOA this week because it can't really be scheduled, theres no telling when ally will have wintergrasp to run it, and everyone pugs voa. Well everyone but these guys. Anyway after I ran both one of the raid leaders put both VOAs in the calender and sent me and 23 other people invites, I declined of course cause I was saved. They also put up runs/invites for 10 and 25 OS's at the same time...I accepted both of those figuring if ally didn't have voa they'd do those and invite the people on that list.

Anyway the next day when it was time for the runs they invited everyone to group. I figured to run OS since I got an invite and had declined the one they sceduled for voa, plus we didn't have VOA and the battle was starting in 20 mins or so. But no they said it was for VOA, that we would pvp in wintergrasp and if we won then run it. I obviously couldn't go because I was saved to a pug that 1 shotted both bosses, so I said so. Then one of the raid leaders, that hyper girl in vent gets all upset at me saying how we said no pugging, blah blah blah. Anyway they fought in wintergrasp and surprisingly the alliance won, so they went to run VOA, they pugged people since we didn't have many guildys on for that either. For some reason it took them like 20-30 minutes to fill the group, probably because it was so late. Then they wiped like 4 or 5 times on Emalon. I was still in raid so I got to see all them die over and over, lol. Then they finally killed Emalon and went on to kill the easy boss. All in all from the time I got my invite, it took them over 2 hours. I stayed in raid whole time because I was clearing out a bunch of stuff in my mail/inventory. Then after some people left I went to OS 25 with them, where they attempted to do 2 drakes up and failed over and over. Finally we just killed 1 of the drakes and got it done. It was so fucking frustrating, I thought the run would be 30 minutes tops, not 3 hours.

Anyway I'm definitely pugging VOA when it resets tomorrow. If anyone in guild gets pissy at me for it I'll just tell them "well sorry but tbh its VOA and I just wanna get it done fast, not wait around for us to win it or possibly lose my chance at running it because ally didn't have or couldn't get it during the time we scheduled it for." I'll probably pug other stuff too since all the guild runs that haven't been 5 mans have been fail so far. If they don't like it they can guild kick me...tbh I'm kinda hoping they will.

Also I'm kinda pissed that I never got the nax 10 achievment run that was promised to me when I helped some of their alts out in that nax 10 run I mentioned last week. I had told them I really wanted to do the achievements in there but would help them gear their alts this week if they'd help me get the achievements I've been trying to get done next week. They said they would and even named a day and time it would be done. But no one fucking scheduled it or sent invites out, at least not to me. And then I saw them this week running it without me. Fucking jerks.

And as for my friend who I referred they said they really like the game but probably won't be subscribing :( They said something about being worried they would become addicted to it and ignore other stuff. I don't think they would though, they don't seem to have that much trouble logging off. Hopefully they'll change their mind.

New Guild and Wow Stuff

2009-07-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who voted on my poll =) Wish I knew who my other "friend" was that voted the friend option, as I only know who 3 of those votes are from. Ones me cause I'm my own best friend! Yay me! The other 2 I know who they are because they told me.

And yes maybe there should've been an option to vote neutral, but I didn't think anyone could really be neutral after reading me. Not to sound conceited or anything but people usually either like me or dislike me (usually dislike lol). I have such strong opinions on most things and I'm so outspoken (especially online) that I don't think theres too many people who are neutral when it comes to me. Ah well I'll keep neutral in mind for when I redo this poll in a couple months.

So the new guild I mentioned. I like and dislike different things about it. What I like is that they're good players and interested in doing achievements. Some of them helped me get the achievements in heroic HOS. So yay I never have to run that place again :D And went with another guildy to get an achievement in heroic nexus earlier. Everyone in this guild so far seems to know how to play their class...which is more then I can say for my last guild lol.

What I dislike is...well tbh I kinda dislike most of their personalitys. Being in vent with these people is kinda like being at a frat party. They drink, they cuss and they're loud. Especially this one girl. God shes so.......hyper. But thats not the worst of it. They're kinda mean. Not to me or each other though. Actually I guess mean wouldn't be the right word because they never say anything to the persons toon. But they seem to enjoy talking crap about other players in the raid (who aren't guildys)in vent.

For example, we ran nax 10 the other day and they pugged somebody. This somebody is actually from my last guild, and I know he's not the best player, but he's not bad at all, he just had never done some of those fights before. Anyway he didn't know what to do and I probably should've explained it to him but I was in a pissy mood and thought the raid leader would, they didn't :/ He wasn't in vent and they were making fun of him on it saying stuff like "bet he's like omg what is this huge ass dragon omg omg" Anyway I can't really explain it well but they were really loud and stuff, also they told him to just die over in a corner. We wiped a few times and they blamed him. Finally we got the boss down and on last try he knew what to do. Someone was like "aww he moved" (they wanted him to die) and the only person other then me who wasn't making fun of him said "well maybe someone wanted to be nice and explain it to him chill". Anyway it makes me worry...if I mess up will they make fun of me later when I'm not around? :( Probably.

Anyway speaking of wow, I got my friend a free trial. I hope he subscribes we can level toons together. You get triple xp from the refer a friend thing :D He's such a copycat though, he rolled a druid AND a lock. Which is my 2 highest chars lol. Anyway if he subscribes for a month I get a month free :D And if he subscribes for 2 months I get the zherva mount. Which imo is the 2nd coolest mount in the game. It'd be so cool to run around riding a zebra lol :D So I gots to make sure he likes playing wow enough to subscribe. Because if he doesn't I don't get a zebra mount :( Hmph..they should give me one just for referring somebody! Plus it'd be cool to have someone to play with at times other then in a raid or instance. My one wow friend and I rarely group together anymore.

Please Vote :)

2009-07-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

Added a poll because I wanna know whose visiting :) Please vote!

Blog

2009-07-28T01:12:00.001-07:00

Changed my blog look, hope you all like :)

Wow Stuff and Online Friends

2009-07-26T20:59:00.000-07:00

I joined another guild already. This ones new, just formed like 2 weeks ago. Not sure how much I'll like it, but giving it a try. One thing I already dislike is their "No pugging" rule. I think they might be a bit too uncasual for me. They have less then 30 members too, and I'm the only druid so far. But on the bright side I've grouped with alot of the members before and they seem pretty alright. The person who invited me in says they're focused on achievements too so thats a plus. They raid late at nights too like 12 am server. Which is usually good for me, and a plus because this way I can watch my tv shows when they're on rather then having to download them.

Also I've made some new online friends in the past few weeks. Only 1 seems to be a decent conversationalist though and I think the others are ignoring me. I only got a few replies to my "looking for misanthropic people to talk to" thread. 1 was that guy I mentioned before that wanted to PM and got all upset that I wanted to talk on MSN. The other was a guy who I talked to 2 or 3 times and never heard from again. I'll give it more time before I start to think he's ignoring me for sure because it hasn't been that long yet. The other though...I used to be friends with him on AIM years ago and he was a bit of a jerk to me back then and always used to try to change my mind and convince me people weren't that bad. So the first time or 2 he contacted me recently I just ignored it. Then he sent me another 1 a few days ago asking why I was ignoring him. So I replied and said something like "Didn't we used to talk years ago and not really get along? Also Tbh I'm really only looking for misanthropic people to talk to." Then he replied back saying something like "I know how I was back then but I've changed and am more like you now I think" And said he'd really like to talk to me. I wasn't sure if I believed him or not but I agreed to talk to him and sent him my msn. That was a few days ago now, and he's not added me yet still. Makes me wonder what he wanted it for, hope he's not signing me up for spam or crap.

Speaking of friends...my one online friend who I've known since late 2005 recently moved from CA to Ohio to move back in with his parents because he'd been unemployed for a time and ran out of money to live alone in LA. :( Anyway he's pretty much the only online friend I talk to regularly and have kept for more then a year or two. But he mentioned us meeting one day once he gets a car. I was like cool but isn't Ohio like 8 hours away from me...come to find out its only 3 hours away. While I kinda would like to meet him someday theres a few problems. The one being that he doesn't know half of how bad my SA is, the other being my crappy sense of directions, he'll expect me to show him around or something...and I leave the house so little that I really won't know my way around, plus even if I did leave the house I wouldn't know because I have like no sense of direction. It will probably be at least a year or 2 before he can even afford a car (he doesn't have a job yet even) but still, just thinking about it causes my SA to act up.

Quit My Guild

2009-07-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

I quit my guild 2 days ago. Reason I quit was because one of the raid leaders, I'll call him O for obnoxious was being a total jerk to me.

Basically we got into this huge argument of which he started supposedly just because I brought up privately to him during the run that someone elses dps was too low for the run. I'll call the player whose dps was too low B for baddie. I only brought it up because in the beginning of the run he was gonna have me and a few other dps roll for a spot against this player.

Also he had this 1 player, whose dps is on par with mine as balance be exempt from rolling. My gear score was actually higher then this person that was being exempt from rolling. So I mentioned in raid "how come A isn't having to roll...my gear score is higher then his" Because it wasn't fair. So then after a bunch of quiet and waiting a while he said "A do you mind rolling?" A didn't wanna roll but he had all the dps roll anyway. A, B and me rolled highest and so got to stay. the 2 other dps were O and another raid leader that were also of course both exempt from rolling, even though we only needed 1 raid leader especially since it was a 10 man.

I noticed during the run B's dps was rather low, lower then the tanks even. This player B, I have grouped with him in raids before and his dps is always this bad. He doesn't play his spec well and he also still has 3 or 4 blues, which you should have betetr then if you wanna do uldaur. I mentioned it to the raid leader during the raid because I figured he must not know or have realized this otherwise he would've had this person sit out rather then roll for a spot with us. But he did know and he got mad and said something like "Don't bring that crap up to me". Then I was like "....." And he said "I watch recount too." So I'm thinking to myself, if thats true then why wasn't this person made to sit out. Since you claim to chose who gets to go by their gear and dps. But I didn't say anything then.

After the run O whispered me and was like "Are you busy, can I talk to you for a minute?" I was trying to get a run going for some heroics so I said "sure I'm just trying to find a group for some heroics" Then he's like "well can you wait I'd like to talk to you". I agreed, which I wish I hadn't. Because it turned into over an hour of arguing with him and resulted in me quitting the guild.

I don't know why the hell he had such an over reaction to me saying everyone should roll or to me pointing out to him B's low dps. But he flew off the handle. He basically told me that my dps wasn't that good either (which I'll admit it wasn't that great but it wasn't below the others by more then 1%...B's was below the others by more then 5% and below the tanks as well.) I said to him well I kept up on dps with the others I wasn't that far behind, nothing like B's and plus I still have some 10 man nax gear". Then he goes well if you still have 10 man gear you shouldn't be in uldaur...I'm like well if I can keep up with the other people who are in 25 man gear why not shouldn't I, skill should count for something. Then I'm like well my dps and gear score are both higher then B's, I was just saying if you're gonna go by gear scores like you had said you were doing then why was he allowed to roll with us and also why was at first A exempt from having to roll when A's score and dps are both unpar with mine and in fact A's gear score is lower then mine. O also said "I shouldn't have changed it and had A roll that was my mistake" I was like "wtf" And told him if A doesn't have to roll I find that unfair.

Basically he argued with me for over an hour and he was more stubborn then a mule and I couldn't get him to see how unfair he was being and that he was blowing everything way out of proportion. I can't even remember everything he said to me...he was a huge jerk though.

He also kept insisting my gearscore was lower then it was. I kept saying thats not right I must be in pvp gear or something. So he fucking invited me to a group and made me come to where he was and inspected each piece I had on and insisted it was right. Then like 10 minutes later he goes "oh my bad I didn't realize you had a lance on in the wow-heros profile so I'll add 213 to your score". I said I told you it was higher. He said well you said you were in pvp gear. I'm like no I said maybe I was, I just knew it wasn't right. Geez maybe he could've at least reloaded the damn page when I said it was wrong because I was on the more current one of it which was my correct score, I know because I reloaded it myself. Fucking moron.

He also accused me of being selfish when I said well since my feral dps is so higher I could go as feral and still roll main on balance. (I was trying to work out a compromise with this SOB). Then he said I was being selfish for wanting to gear up 2 dps specs. And that I was already geared very well as feral and it was selfish to gear up another dps spec. I was so pissed off when he said that that I couldn't think of that great of a response. Now yes my feral dps is alot more then my balance dps but my feral dps is also alot more then anyone else in the guilds dps. Usually its over 2% more then the next highest person! As feral I'm num 1 in nearly every fight. When I'm not num 1 its because I either died or was busy with non dps stuff like add duty or trying to find someone that died and rez them or backup healing. So basically as feral I was fucking carrying all of them. So he should talk.

He also said that I would be taking away from other people who needed the gear. Now yes I am geared as feral but 95% of my feral gear I got from non guild runs. 90% or more of the rest of the guild doesn't even try to gear up outside of guild runs. If we don't do a guild nax 25 for the week they just don't go, and 99% of them never do voa. So it's not like I took gear from the other players as feral and then decided to roll for balance stuff. And even with my balance gear I have geared up 95% or wait more like 99% for that on non guild runs. I still have like 4 10 man things for balance (rings and trinkets)but I've filled out every other thing from pug runs. So for him to act like I'm being selfish is laughable. Also he has an alt that he runs with and is gearing that up on guild runs at times. So what about the gear he is taking away from the people who would need it for their mains huh? What a hypocrite!

Then he started going off topic talking crap about me and saying I had a poor attitude and needed to let things go. I'm like wtf...you're the one that started this exchange, I had no intention of saying a thing after the run. He said crap about how I annoy people by always asking if we can do achievements. I said "I only ask once and I don't push it when people say no". He said "Well if a raid leader thinks we can do it he'll bring it up and you acted upset when we said no to the 4 horsemen achievement" I said "umm no I didn't I just said "aww :(" I was disappointed not upset" And I told him he and whoever else had a problem with me suggesting we try for achievements needed to lighten the fuck up. (I left the fuck part out lol). And he told me I needed to drop it then! I'm like wtf dude you're the one that brought it up it don't upset me if we don't try them. I also told him that if I didn't suggest it we wouldn't have learned how to do flame levi the easy way. He had the nerve to suggest that he didn't try it because of my suggestion but because he learned that from the other guild he was running with a few weeks ago! I was like well funny then that you learned it long before we started uldaur yet you never tried it until the day I suggested it. If he knew it was the easier way before I suggested it then he would've tried it before then. Fucking liar just trying to save face.

He also mentioned about how I don't wanna go on runs unless we try the achivments. Which is true for 5 mans. But so the fuck what, theres plenty of other people who need emblems from 5 mans that are willing to go...I don't need emblems. And I've been trying forever to get guild runs for heroic achievement runs, yet nobody ever is willing to help me with them. Yet I'm expected to help them with their heroic runs when they won't even attempt the achievements for me?? I've been trying for months now to find people to help me get these achievements done. I wanted the damn mount but no one cared. The mount will probably be removed soon too, the raiding achievement one was removed already. Then he said "well you do it for 10 mans too" Anyway I told him if I was needed I'd have gone on those runs but if theres alot of people wanting to go and we're not trying for achievements then I sit out. It makes fucking sense that someone else that needs gear should go instead of me if they're not doing the achievements.

Anyway the only person he mentioned specifically other then himself as being upset was another raid leader. Who I know was immature enough once to open a fake portal over the wintergrasp one which tricked a few people, me included into taking it and ending up in fucking dustmallow marsh.

And speaking of sitting out, I actually sat out on last weeks run. So that others wouldn't have to...think I mentioned that before. Actually it might've been 2 weeks ago since last week I don't think we did uldaur 10. But anyway I sat out on last guild uldaur 10 run. So would think that it would mean that this week I got to go. But noooooooo I still had to roll for a spot. O asked if anyone was willing to sit out too and nobody said a thing. Selfish SOBs, I would've offered to myself if I hadn't sat out last run. And I never even got a thank you from the person that got to go because of me sitting out last week either. Such rude, selfish people. Like every fucking other person out there.

Eventually I realized it was pointless arguing with him. I tried to close the conversation but then he's like "you can't go as balance on my runs anymore." Which he'd also said a few other times in the conversation. I kept saying I'm fine with going as balance and rolling with the people who are similar to my dps/gear as balance for a spot, so long as you're fair and people like A who have lower gear scores and similar dps to me aren't exempt from rolling". But he didn't care he told me I was going as balance and that was that. I couldn't change his mind or make him see how wrong or unfair he was being and the whole exchange was giving me a huge headache. So I just explained what happened in guild. Basically I said "ok O is telling me I can't go on runs anymore as balance so I don't think this is the right guild for me anymore, good luck all." Then I guild quit before anyone really said anything except saw O say "thats correct" before I quit.

Got a bunch of tells after I quit. People seemed sad. I explained it to them the best I could. Got another one today too. The GM and none of the officers sent me any though...guess they most likely agree with O. :(

I'm worried now that he twisted the story to make me look bad. He was definatly the one in the wrong...but people like him, they're good at convincing others they're in the right.

Deadbeat Parents And The Morons Who Think It's Ok.

2009-07-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

Thread on SAS earlier made me possibly hate humanity even more then I already did. It sickens me that so many guys there think if a man doesn't want kids he shouldn't be forced to help support one should he get someone pregnant. I like how none of them could even give a good reason or reply with anything even halfway intelligent. Especially this one jerk who just chose to insult me and my intelligence because he obviously couldn't come up with a defense for his position.

So many men (and women too) need to learn to keep their damn pants on if they don't ever want a child. If you wanna have sex either get married or at least be in a long term relationship with the person. If you want to have casual sex you're more then likely a moron, because sex can never be casual, you always have some risk, be it stds, chance of pregnancy or even a lover of theirs finding out and taking revenge. Condoms are NOT 100% effective, nor is birth control, even using both is no guarantee.

Casual sex is alot less bad however if both partners 1. Aren't sleeping with anyone else at the time or if they are sleeping with others they are being upfront with all partners and all partners are ok with this slutting around and 2. They have discussed and agreed upon with their partner what would happen should an accidental pregnancy occur.

Also people can still change their mind and decide they do want the child, so you're still at risk, which is something you just should have to accept if you chose to have sex. If a man (or women) doesn't want to pay up to help support this child too freaking bad, they should've though of that before they had sex. No way in hell should some innocent child have to go without just because 2 people couldn't control their urges. The child will already be going without enough by having a biological parent who doesn't want to be an active part of their life they shouldn't have to suffer more by financially going without.

I mostly don't approve of abortion for similar reasons but that would be a different topic...BUT if one of the 2 parents decides they want that baby it should without a doubt be born. This means I also think if a guy gets a women pregnant and she doesn't want it tests should be done to determine paternity, then she should be forced to carry to term and pay child support when the baby comes. Unless its rape in which case the guy should obviously have zero say.

Old PM's Depress Me

2009-07-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

Cleaned out my PM box on a forum. Can't believe it was almost full. It was only sent pm's though that I deleted and don't think it was all of them. The board lost the other pm's about a year ago when they switched owners and whatever and somehow these pm's I sent got put in my inbox upon the switch. It would've been nice to read the ones people actually sent to me again before I lost those though. Anyway I don't think it was even all my sent pm's because I'm sure I sent much more then that. But nonetheless it was interesting to read them. I'm sad to say that I don't even remember most of the people I was pm'ing with back then. Did searches on the forums for them, only one is still around and they're using a new name. But of course the others could still be around on new names too and just not have said who they used to be.

Anyway they have this thing on the forum now where you can just click a check box next to each PM and download them to a text file so I did that because I really hate throwing stuff away even online. I never delete emails or anything like that unless I have no choice but to. But I still don't have alot of my old emails and stuff because I used to have webtv and use their email and then when they terminated it for non payment I lost everything. Wish I'd forwarded them all to another account but I guess now it would've been a waste if I had as at the time all I'd had for second accounts was yahoo and hotmail and I stupidly went 6 months without signing into both years later and lost everything. I thought my mom would eventually be able to pay that webtv bill though and get it back, never happened though LOL.

Anyway I rarely go back and read stuff because it always depresses me, but its still nice to have the option to. It felt weird seeing stuff I'd written from as far back as 2003-2005, things were very different for me then. Felt kinda depressed when I read one where I said I'd met this great guy online (my last ex) and how I was so happy. And other one where I was apologizing to this one person for not being on IM when I said I would be because my friend came over. Its somewhat hard for me to believe that I once had somewhat of a life. And I can't believe I don't even remember the person I was sending those pm's too, they seemed like someone I'd been knowing online for a while.

Speaking of keeping stuff, I wanna delete my myspace but I don't wanna lose all the messages from my sister that I have saved on there (we communicated though myspace not email) Anyway I could just copy and paste them to word pad and save but meh seems too much trouble. I just wanna delete my myspace so that she can't ever contact me again.....well that and so no one I used to know can find me. I changed it so my real name shouldn't bring up my myspace but for some reason on social networking search sites my profile still comes up when I search my name. Ugh. And yes I search myself, I'm one of my favorite people to stalk LOL, well not really I just wanna make sure no ones saying bad stuff about me.

Anyway speaking of pm's whats with some people. This one person the other day got upset with me because I took long to reply back to a pm. Well long in his opinion. It had only been a day and he pm'd me again saying something about he didn't get why I seemed uninterested. I told him I'm not too good with pm's or email and gave him my msn so we could chat in real time. Then he replied back and seemed to be all upset at me saying how he wasn't good with real time chat and when he heard I liked cats he thought it'd be fun pm'ing me and that since I had SA I'd be like him and be better at emails/pm's and that it was rather disappointing. Anyway I replied back and explained to him that I am better at im's because I overthink emails/pm's, IM's on the other hand don't give me as long to think and in my case the more I think the more I put off replying so I'm better with IMs. Since he didn't seem interested in pming me unless I replied quicker I told him to let me know if he changed his mind about IMing. He pm'd me back today saying "sorry to have disturbed you and caused you so much stress, take care." which kinda pissed me off because he didn't really cause me any stress he just annoyed me and from his previous replies I'd say he was the one stressed over it. Anyway the last time I was hoping someone awesome had pm'd me and wanted to chat was annoying for it just to be that...now that is disappointing. I just replied back "ditto" lol.

But anyway I don't mind pm'ing or email really it just takes me a few days to reply...but if people are gonna expect quicker replies and be upset when they don't get them they really need to swallow their fears and start using an instant messaging program. But besides that heres part of what I said in my post where I was looking for friends:

"I'd prefer someone good at 1-1 conversation...most of the time with people I feel I'm carrying the whole conversation. But I need someone that doesn't mind if I take a few minutes to reply at times, because I usually am playing wow while on IM lol. Anyway even if you aren't good at conversation its ok. I use msn messenger and don't have aim or yahoo"

So I sure don't know how this person came to the conclusion that I was looking more for email/pm friends then people to chat with. Of course maybe they contacted me because they knew I liked cats and they never saw that post...but then they said in their pm that they thought I was looking for people to talk to so I don't know.

Heh theres actually a topic on the forums about over analyzing things...thats so me. This really doesn't matter that much but I tend to over analyze everything I do that has some form of social action.

I want everyone to be miserable hehe

2009-07-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

So found out my last ex quit his guild of which he was the gm of and quit wow too. He also deleted his twitters, both his guilds and his own along with deleting his guilds website. His own website is still up though. He doesn't mention quitting his guild or why he quit but it shows his last few twitter updates on there and his last one said that he was helping his fiancee move in tomorrow and there was no longer anything about him playing wow on his site under where it said interests. Sigh bet that he quit because he was finally bored of wow and wanted to spend more time with her. Was hoping he quit because he had a falling out with his guildys. Well guess I'll never know what happened. Anyway I checked his realm forums and his guild is recruiting with a new guild website up now. I really really hope he had a falling out with them. Also hope his relationship with his fiancee crumbles before they get married. Would be so awesome if he ended up completely miserable. I found out through googling his sn name months ago that he was with a different girl before her and very shortly after him and I broke up. They had an online relationship for a while then he moved to be with her, he met her first online in wow. It was probably the girl I was soooo jealous of when him and I were together because he always chose to group with her over me in wow. She dumped him a few months after he moved to be with her, reading that made me soooo happy. Karma :D hehehe. And hopefully this relationship now won't last either. I want him to be alone and miserable and regret mistreating me because I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he'll never find anyone as awesome as me again. No I'd never take him back I just don't want him, or anybody who treated me badly before to be happy. Other peoples misery, especially that of people who hurt me before thrills me to no end, makes me giddy :D Was also happy when I found out before my best friend that I knew since childhood broke up with his bf and when I ruined one of his friendships years after I found out about all the lies (think I wrote about him in the beginning of my diary):D Anyway I was even happy when I found out someone online who had been rude to me before broke up with her bf, or rather he broke up with her and was rather mean to her. Even though I've talked to her bf before and know he's worse then her so I'm hoping he's miserable too. Anyway I love it when bad things happen to bad people lol...and since most people are bad that means I usually love when bad things happen to people.

Anyway speaking of people...one of my online friends told me last night that he cut off contact with a girl he met online and met in person a few times because he didn't see the point in being friends with someone he didn't see in person. So I was like am I next then and he said "Maybe but you have SA too so maybe not." So I was all quiet after that and now I'm not sure what to do, thinking maybe I should cut him off first. Not that it matters a ton to me cause its not someone I got really close to but still whenever something like that happens my feelings are always hurt a little.

New Season Of Big Brother

2009-07-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

New Big Brother season started a few days ago. This one seems good so far. Not that I think reality tv is that great but its alright. I certainly prefer shows like Lost though. Can't believe I have to wait till January for the new Lost /cry

But anyway this new Big Brother started and this time they're having them play as cliques. If one of that clique wins HOH then none of that clique can be nominated for eviction that week. Theres the popular clique, the athetletic clique, the smart clique and the offbeat clique and each startd with 3 people. And when they did the first HOH compition they had a twist where whoever won would win for their clique and not get HOH themselves but get an extra member for their clique from a past bb season. They had Jessie (BB10 - Athlete), Cowboy (BB5 Off-Beat), Jessica (BB9 - Popular), and Brian (BB10 - Brains). Unfortunatly the athletes won so cocky ass Jesse got back in the house and was the first HOH. I guess its not too bad, maybe he'll stir up some drama and thats always good to watch (just hope he doesn't win!). But I was rooting for Brian he's such a cutie and he got voted off first last season. And IMO smart guys>muscular jocks. Plus I wanted the brains to win the first HOH and have an extra member. If not them I'd hoped for the offbeat clique to win. I hope this show doesn't end up like rl where the populars and the jocks end up walking away with it all. /sigh

Furby

2009-07-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

I had a dream again last night about Furby. Its like the 5th or 6th dream I've had of her this year. Like the other ones she was reborn as a kitten in it. In the first few she was a white kitten. In the last 2 she was a black and white kitten. In this last one last night she was a male kitten, black and white, and the smallest in her litter.

I can't help but wonder if theres something to these dreams, like shes trying to send me a message that shes been reborn or will be reborn and wants me to look for her. Shes always unhappy in the dreams at first but then happy when I find her. Its odd because she died 4 or 5 years ago and I've only just been recently (the past 6 months) been having these dreams. I'm worried if they are a message that she's mad or gonna get mad at me for not finding her :( I feel like I should be looking at least but with this damn SA and not having left the house in over 9 months well. I 1. wouldn't know where to look and 2. I have no transpo to go anywhere. 3. my mom is dead set against any cats now. /sigh and 4. Think I'm crazy for believing these dreams could be messages.

Maybe they're really just dreams and nothing to them. But its weird because it usually happens on nights when I haven't really been thinking of her and why now years after her death and why always about her returning as a kitten, why not about her living as she was a grey and white cat? Anyway if they are some kind of message I hope she is born to a litter as a stray very very near my apartment or near my moms work and my mom somehow has a change of heart and brings her home. I just hope I find her if she has been reincarnated already.

Too nice...and regreted it as always :(

2009-07-11T13:49:00.001-07:00

I think I'm too nice sometimes. Or I worry too much about making people angry at me. Or maybe a little of both. Yesterday in wow I sat out on the uldaur 10 run. I didn't need any feral gear off the first few bosses (which are all we can down) so I was going to main roll on balance gear (the leader said I could) but we had like 15 people who wanted to go. The leader said my spot was safe because I do really high dps and he was gonna have the 3 lowest dps in the run /roll for which of them got to go. I felt bad and like since my feral gear is already mostly best in slot stuff or near that that I should sit out...so I said to him "i'll roll with them to be fair" and I didn't roll one of the 2 highest so I left raid.

In some ways I feel like I did the right thing but.....its not something I'll ever do again. I didn't even get a damn thank you from the person who got to go in my place. It pisses me off. Ungrateful fucker. And I also missed an achievement :( I didn't know they were gonna do hard mode. And you know what else I'm thinking now? Why should I be so nice to give up MY spot for someone like that and someone that doesn't work very hard to upgrade their gear outside of guild runs. I mean sure I do have awesome gear, I easily do 4k+ dps on fights in there which is over 500 more dps then the next highest...BUT I also got 95% of this gear outside of guild runs. I've worked hard on gearing up and shouldn't be sitting out because of it or feeling like I should sit out. And if I wanna collect balance gear I shouldn't feel bad about it. But I do. /sigh

Anyway on the bright side I organized and led an 8 man os run for the less is more achievement. And the other day I got the heroic safety dance achievement (we cheated and used an exploit lol). Maybe I can remember it for next time I do that boss. Can impress the raid with my awesome skills. Or kill everyone when I fail to remember where exactly the safe spot is lol.

Well, at least my birthday is over.

2009-07-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

Well my birthday was yesterday. I was right about not getting anything. :( A few online people wished me a happy birthday though. Didn't do anything for my birthday or the 4th either. I'm not sure why people asked me or why they even ask me what I've been up to lately, I haven't left the house in over 8 months, and that isn't likely to change anytime soon, even if it is my birthday. Anyway I did nax 25 last night and pretty much nothing I needed dropped and the stuff that did I didn't win. Its like god, if there is one doesn't want me to even have 1 little thing. This was the worst birthday ever for sure. And also my father sent me a card....I'm returning to sender as always. Sorry but you didn't wanna be in my life when I was a child so now I don't want to be in yours. Too little, too late, and he needs to take the hint.

Anyway I'm 27 now. I wonder if I can still consider myself to be in mid 20s...when exactly is it that people stop saying mid 20s and start saying late 20s when referring to someones age?

In a Bad Mood

2009-07-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in such a bad mood. My birthday is only 2 days away (the 5th) and thats part of it. I'm sure I won't do anything for my birthday, I haven't in years. It just sucks to be turning another year older and still not having found love or even friendship. I've only ever had people in my life who I thought loved me or thought were my friends but they always proved themselves to be jerks eventually. I'm still rather pissed about the last 2 actually...wish I could kill those bastards. Just as I hate all the others, 2 in particular from 2005. But I'd give anything to meet someone...anyone that didn't end up being a jerk, liar or user. But I don't think I ever will. 99.9% of human beings are just horrid :( I'm safer not trying to "win the lottery" and just keeping people at bay like I have been lately, I just hope I'm strong enough to keep this up even if I once again meet someone that seems great.

Oh and I don't think anyone reads this, but if you do, please don't reply with anything along the lines of "people aren't that bad, don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch for you". Because I've heard that crap and stuff like it a million times before and it just pisses me off even more since I know its not true. Really people that think that must have lower standards then I do for what it means to be a good person and aren't anyone I'd consider a good person so just save it for someone else who might be stupid enough to believe it.

I'm just so pissed off, on top of that these last few days I've burned just about every meal I've made, including the "homemade" pizza. Which wasn't completely homemade just bought a roll out dough crust and put spaghetti and cheese and stuff on it and cooked it. But still.

At least on the bright side I've adapted very well to being alone. Its really not that hard when you know its better then the alternative. But sometimes, like today the loneliness hits me...still though this is better then the horrible feeling that sits with me for weeks or months after I find out I'm being lied to or being talked bad about behind my back.

Michael Jackson, those poor kids of his

2009-06-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

My life is dull as usual but I just felt like writing some about this Michael Jackson fiasco on TV. Since the media is covering it 24/7 not that I care that much but I'm forced to watch it since my mom has the tv on. And those kids...they look nothing like him, though I think the youngest looks kinda like MJ after he became white lol. But yea those kids definitely don't have an ounce of african american in them. And I'm sure dna tests will be done on them and that the results will be all over the media. I feel bad for those kids actually. As if having MJ as a father wasn't bad enough, now it looks like either the mother that pretty much said she was just a vessel for MJ to have kids or the grandfather that beat MJ as a kid and seems to not care of his sons death will get them. And Joe Jackson has no class, he was plugging his record company in the interview, as well as his reply to how are you doing? "I'm great" who the hell says "I'm great" just a few mere days after their sons death??! He probably was great though...I mean he probably though he was due to inherit at least a couple mill. So funny that he got left out of the will. I believe in nurture over nature and MJ was definitely the way he was because of the beatings his father bestowed upon him as a child. Those kids should really go to some anonymous foster family who doesn't know who they are (though I realize that is probably impossible now due to media flashing their pics all over). Neither Debbie nor MJs parents are fit to raise them.

Anyway in other news like I said not much is going on with me lately but I did get my 2 piece 8.5 now in WOW, so I think now I'm gonna be mostly running stuff as balance as my balance gear needs lots of work and in my feral gear I already do over 3k dps.

People Suck But As Long As I Have WOW I'm Happy

2009-06-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

We did do all bosses in nax 25 that week :) Only we couldn't get kel down on Saturday so at my suggestion the raid leader made a raid for the next day and we got him then. 2 of the pally helms dropped. And our guild leader/raid leader who was supposed to be master looting the run forgot to put master loot on. So he told everyone who could use it to just need on it. The same person (a pally)won both helms. So they had people reroll for the 1 and told him to send a gm ticket in explaining what happened and asking them to give 1 of the helms to that person. I don't think a gm would correct something like that but hopefully they did. I still don't know if the gm did or not though hope they did.

We were gonna do first few bosses in uldaur 25 this week, but we didn't have enough people on. Have alot of people away this week. So we did black temple instead for the achievement, was nice to finally do that place was my first time ever in there.

I'm able to talk on ts much easier now. I even had an hour long conversation with someone from the guild 1-1 yesterday. Luckily they were pretty talkative cause a few times I didn't know what to say. We talked about wow of course, thats the 1 and only subject I seem to be able to have a conversation about. But I still haven't talked to anyone outside of guild on it. Not that I group outside of guild much anymore anyway, for some reason that other guild I was running with hasn't contacted me to run anything, except nax 10 last week which they kinda talked me into going on but then they got guildys on and said it would be best if I left if I wanted a full clear that week cause they didn't know if or when they would finish it. And they contacted me to run voa 10 man but I think that was just because I was in the lfg queue for it. Haven't contacted me to run uldar or OS or Nax or anything like they used to. Maybe they just assume I'll be running with guild from now on. Or maybe they think I suck now. Whatever. Its ok though I wasn't expecting things to last with them anyway, in and out of wow all my relationships tend to either fade away or burn out. I just hope that doesn't happen with my guild for a long time.

Actually I pugged nax 25 since guild isn't running it this week. I said like 1 word on the vent through the whole thing lol, other then that I been typing. The pug went better then most of my guild runs too heh. We even almost got the acrophobia achivment but missed timer by like 15 seconds. And best of all I finally got my tier 7.5 helm :D woot! :D

I got the world explorer title the other day, and also got 30 factions to exalted. Now to work on getting the loremaster title, can't believe I have the seeker title (title for completing 3000 quests) yet I haven't done enough old world quests for the loremaster title yet. I'm such an achievement junkie. Some people are alt aholics or raiders, or pvpers, before the achievement system I probably drifted between all of the above but now I'm definatly most focaused on getting the achievements done. I guess maybe because getting the achievements makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something? There are still over 50 people higher in achievement score on the realm though. But my goal is to eventually be number 1 on the realm, it probably won't happen though because theres alot of arena and raiding achievements I'll probably never be able to get so thats a loss of alot of potential points just there. But hey, its not like I have a life so I mine as well try lol.

Got a new tv =) flatscreen, 32 inch I think. Takes some getting used to but I already like it better then our old 25 inch, and since its 1 of the newer tvs we didn't need to buy anything for when the signal switches over(or did it already switch over, I haven't watched tv in over a week.) Also got a new chair. Yay for moms income tax money lol.

I had a dream the other night about Furby I dreamt that she was reincarnated as a white kitten that meowed alot and that she was at the spca and people kept returning her because she was so noisy. I actually went to their website to check for white kittens too but their were none, I checked petfinder too and couldn't find any local ones. I know it was probably just a dream but I do believe in reincarnation and so can't help but wonder if its true. I still miss her to this day too, I miss all the cats I've had that are no longer with me :( But her most of all. I hope if she is reincarnated that she somehow finds her way to me. But my mom is such a bitch, she won't let me get another cat. :(

I found out my last ex is engaged now. Ugh. Unlike other people I defiantly don't want my ex to be happy. Why would I? We're exes for a reason, he treated me like crap when we were together. I defiantly don't want him back, but I don't want him to be happy, he doesn't deserve happiness. Hopefully she'll cheat on him like I suspect he was doing to me :D Actually it seems like most of the people who screwed me over in life are doing pretty well for themselves. So much for karma :( And no, I don't still talk to any of them, I hate them all. So you're probably wondering how I know they're doing well then. Well I google them and look them up on myspace and things like that. I can be quite the stalker :P I guess I'm one of those "crazy" people other people think are fucked in the head. Cause I not only do that, I do it quite often, like once a week per person I look for new info online on them, plus I like to get revenge on people when they hurt me and I'm also rather clingy when I like someone alot. I honestly don't understand why any of the above are bad things though. In a better society revenge would be seen as a good thing, a way of standing up for one self when somebody hurts you. And clingyness would be seen as a good thing too, after all if you love somebody why in the world wouldn't you want to spend the majority of your time with them? As for the stalking well if you were once close to someone I can't see why you should or would just forget them, even if you hate them now wouldn't you still want to know how they're doing? Its never made much sense to me why most people see all of the 3 above things the way they do, my views on them make so much more sense. I guess I just don't understand people. Anyway in spite of that I'm not at all sadded by it cause I'm long over him it just makes me angry because I know he's a horrible person.

Anxiety breakthrough :D

2009-06-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

I talked on vent for the first time ever! I'm so proud of myself. I know it doesn't sound like much to most people, but for me who has really bad social anxiety its a major accomplishment. I'm quiet on it most of the time though, but I don't think thats necessarily a bad thing, better then people that talk over each other (and we get that some in this guild). I must sound young though because someone asked me how old I am(in whisper). I hate the way my voice sounds. The day after I first talked on it I actually spent all night worrying about how I sounded and if what I said was stupid or whatnot. But still I'm glad I did...I feel like its a huge accomplishment for me, and I know it will get easier to talk on it as time goes by. And last night I actually had a hour or so long conversation with some guildys even after the raid ended. Wow. I never thought I'd be able to do that.

In less happy news, my net was out for like 5 hours the other night. I called and they had a prerecording up saying it was scheduled maintenance. I was like wtf. I mean really...if the internet is gonna be out and they know it, why no damn warning in advance. I missed doing all my 25 dailys in wow that day because of that bullcrap.

The other night we came so close to getting the spore loser achievement on 10 man. But as always someone ruined it. This time it was the offtank (who is a great guy, but his player skills not so great). He used his army of the dead near the end! Ugh. What part of no aoe can't these people understand, the gm only said it about 10 times "no aoe don't kill the spores".

I know I complain alot about my guild, I guess I tend to focus more on the negative then the positive. But really its not so bad, actually I'd say this is the best guild I've ever been in (not that thats saying much lol) but yea, its a pretty good guild. They're all pretty nice and fair to me, and thats whats really important. It shouldn't bug me so much that some people in it aren't very good at the game, but it does. Anyway I got like 4 new pieces of gear this week. So I needed some enchantments on them obviously...well my guild was awesome cause I didn't have to spend a cent on the enchants or mats...guild bank and guildys provided it all for me :) I'm really grateful for that...though I feel a little guilty now because I used up quite a good portion of the enchanting mats in bank. They're also the only guild I've ever felt comfortable enough to talk on vent with. Or only people rather. I never even felt comfortable enough to talk to Rich on vent, and I really really liked him.

Also I think we may just clear the rest of nax 25 tonight (keeping my fingers crossed!) we did better then ever last night and went further in 1 night then we ever had before. Good thing I suggested doing construct wing and the first boss of dk wing after spider wing that night, otherwise we would've done both easy wings that night instead and thats how we usually do it and then the next night we spend hours wiping on the last boss in construct and bosses in dk wing (especially the first boss in dk). So now tonight we got 1 easy wing left and the bosses in the dk wing (cept for the first 1). Our dps was also better then ever tonight and for the first time ever I wasn't num 1 on the meter at the end of the night. They think we can get to KT tonight for the first time ever on 25 man as a guild and I hope they're right. Can't wait to see. Gonna go eat my yummy dinner of meatloaf and baked potatos then it should be just about time for the raid. Hope we get KT tonight!

Stupid Electric Company and Stupid People in WOW

2009-05-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

My damn electric went out last night for I don't know how damn long cause I went to bed cause of it but it was at least 2 hours if not more. I was in a raid with guild running nax 25 too when it happened, and we had been doing better this week then previous weeks. Anyway it actually went out 3 times that night. The first 2 times it came right back on so I let my guild know I was having issues with my electric. So at least they probably figured it was that and not that I ditched them.

Anyway we only had 3 bosses left when I lost electric for the last and final time. I thought for sure they would get them and I'd miss out on loot. But this morning when I came on I asked someone who was in the run how it went after my electric went out and they said they tried thadius a few times but couldn't get him. I don't know whether to be happy that I didn't miss out on loot and missed out on the wipefest, or annoyed that my guild sucks so bad they can't even get to sapherion.

I found out and I don't know if its true or not (but I wouldn't doubt it) that 1 of the other druids in the guild bought some of their alts and had their mom level their druid(they are 16). I'll call this druid noobie. Found this out because people were dying on patchwork (I know right) and I asked for a battlerez since I'm a druid myself and still had mine up and if I was rezzed could rez someone else. Noobie said over vent "I'll get you cat" so I'm thinking cool. But a minute goes by and no rez. A few more minutes go by and still no rez. Finally after nearly 5 mins and when the boss is at less then half health(I died in the beginning as did alot of others)I get a rez. So I said something in raid chat I said "we need to be faster with the brezes" Then a bunch of people got mad at me and got on my case! I was like wtf. I mean come on we had 8 druids. And noobie said "I couldn't find you" o_O I was thinking to myself "wow did you buy your toon", and I said "you can click from the raid portraits". Apparently they are too dumb to know to watch all the groups. Funnily enough someone in the guild who I'm sort of friends with in the game, whispered me shortly after that saying something like "this is why I don't go to many raids anymore these guys always are like this and they suck so bad" then we talked more and they told me that noobie bought 2 of his toons and his mom leveled his druid for him. I can't stand people that do things like that. I know its only a game but I bet they cheat their way through real life as well.

And another wow rant..just a little while ago my friend from above asked me to come to uldar 25 with him. I said yes of course. Then a few minutes later still didn't get an invite. So I asked him "inv?" and he goes "sorry but apparently 2 people who have high influence here don't want anybody from wowfreaks (not the real name of the guild I'm in but I'll use this name here) in here. I was like wtf...cause I thought it was the same guild that another guildy friend of mine left the run last night to run uldar 25 and I could've sworn when I asked him that he mentioned the same guild as him. Anyway I was like "thats fucked up" and he said "yea they also insist they heard you making cat noises over vent and they don't want that to happen again" again I was like wtf and I said to him "umm wtf I've never even had a mic hooked up". They must be making that shit up, unless someone else from wowfreaks really did that and they mistook me for that person. I really don't get people and why they always feel the need to make retarded shit up. God people are jackasses. Especially people in WOW.

On a more positive note, I finally made a death knight :D The starter quests for them are really fun and full of lore. Mine is level 58 now, I plan to get to 59 and stay there for a while for pvp while working on getting more achievements for cat.

Mostly WOW stuff again

2009-05-26T23:27:00.001-07:00

Wow. I got the safety dance achievement last night. I can't believe it, especially since I got it with guild. Usually half the raid dies on it, but miraculously this time everyone lived. It was especially shocking since we had a few noobs in there and dps didn't look promising. Never thought I'd get that achievement lol, so was a pleasant surprise. I wonder if people were just being lazy before because they knew the boss could be pretty much 3 manned (though that takes forever) because this time I linked the achievement before we did it, so maybe they were like thinking "oh wow I'll try my hardest to stay alive so I can get this achievement". Or maybe not. I'm not sure anyone in the guild cares that much for achievements, at least not like I do. Which is dumb cause you get a cool mount if you do so many. Not to mention high achievement points are awesome for the epeen lol.

Anyway, I actually was late for the run, I fell asleep after eating dinner :/ I don't know whats wrong with me but the past few years I've always felt fatigued after eating. But this past week its just gotten so much worse, I'm now overcome with an overwhelming urge to sleep after I eat, and today I just couldn't help it, I had to go lay down. I slept for nearly 4 hours :/ And I missed the the beginning of the raid cause of it.

Though tbh I wasn't even planning to attend nax this week with guild, I wanted to run with an uber pug (lol...I was probably gonna try to orangize 1 myself so I could gear check and stuff). I decided to come with guild though when someone had to leave and they specifically asked in guild "cat wanna come to nax?" I'll admit if it would've been asked just in guild without being directed at me I probably wouldn't have said yes. (please note my toons name isn't Cat...I just don't wanna be recognized on here =)) But anyway...I guess in a way its karma, I got rewarded for going with my guild after all, whereas if I hadn't have gone with them maybe I wouldn't have gotten any achievements. Also, I finally got my eoe key for 10 man a couple days ago on the guild run, last week we cleared everything but KT. :/

We also tried the spore loser achievement, at my suggestion. Luckily the guild leader is open to trying achievements. Anyway we didn't get that 1 cause some noob tabbed to target the boss and they targeted and killed a spore instead. Leader said we can try again next week though.Now if only I can convince them to try the "they all go down together achievement" lol. Nah, I won't push my luck, we have enough trouble on the 4 horsemen without trying that achievement :/.

Sadly I don't think I'll get the mount anyway. Unless I get really really lucky and somehow get the undying achievement. Yeah, right, my guild still has people dying on trash. And trying to pug that 1...ha. What pisses me off though is my last ex who plays wow has that damn mount. He's not even that good of a player and he was a huge jackass too, and called me a noob the 1 and only time he played with me. (and yes I was a noob then but ffs I was his gf and brand new at playing..if he had been a good bf he would've given me a chance.) Instead he always preferred his real life and online female friends over me. 4 years later it still pisses me off. Sigh. At least I don't have to worry about R or J getting it. They both suck at wow. Not that my ex is good at it..oh heck he's better at the game then them, but I don't think he's a good player at all, he's leader of a guild whos majority of members he stole from a guild he was in before that that split up, so that says alot.

Anyway moving on to another subject...I watched the season finales of Fringe and Brothers and Sisters. Now I just need to watch the last 2 episodes of Ghost Whisperer and I'll be all caught up on shows, yay! Fringe was awesome as always, but I wasn't surprised at all that Peter was from the other dimension, I'd been suspecting that almost since the show first started. Go me! LOL.

I know I should get an entry in here thats more personal sometime...but I think I've said before I don't have much of a life. I basically really do just sit and play wow all day, with some tv watching thrown in here and there. I didn't even do anything for memorial day. I don't remember if I said it before or not but my familys never been close. I haven't seen any of them in years, except obviously my mother because I live with her. My mom talks to my grandma on the phone and sees her once every other week or so, my grandma also sees her son Steven on holidays, other then that she never sees any of the other 4 kids, and its not her choice, they just don't care to keep in touch with her. It makes me sad, she drinks, shes an alcholic actually, but still thats no excuse. Actually I shouldn't talk, I don't see her either, though I talk to her on the phone once in a blue moon and send her cards on holidays. But that was mostly because I didn't want to be around Henry(he was her bf) but he died a few months ago so I really should now. Anyway thats it for now.

World Of Warcraft Stuff

2009-05-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

Woot! I finally got the 1 drake achievement. Went with the non guild group I sometimes run with, I should really give them a name rather then always calling them the non guild group so I'll call them EC. Anyway I skipped out on my guilds 25 nax tonight (well hey we should be clearing it in 1 night like most guilds by now anyway!). I told my guild leader days ago that I would be doing this too, he was cool with it, which was great cause if he wasn't I don't think I'd have gone.

Anyway it started an hour after my guilds nax did so my guild was full for nax by the time I signed on so I didn't feel too bad. Actually though it started more like 2 hours after my guilds nax because we were short some people. I had them invite a guildy of mine whos ok but not the greatest. He kind of embarrassed me in there, not really because his dps was low though it was a bit low, but cause he didn't know if this awesome trinket was good for melee and he asked them. Someone was like "..." Plus he died during the fight, but still sp did I so I can't talk there lol. 2 others died as well. Got it on the first try though. Almost wish they had done it with 2 drakes up like they were gonna, I think it would've probably worked. Wonder if I'd have gotten both the 1 drake and 2 drake achievements then.

After that we went on to 25 man eoe, which didn't go nearly as well. We wiped like 5 or 6 times before they called it. Each time we made it to the drake phrase though, just people (myself included) sucked at moving on the drakes. Least I got 1 achievement there though, got the denin the scion achievement, for getting a killing blow on a hover disk lol. The raid leader was gonna have us go on to do 25 man uldar but too many people left so that was it for the night.

Pretty good runs though, except for not getting malygos. Though we also didn't do 25 man voa which was planned. Sucky alliance lost it twice in a row. I swear the alliance on my realm sucks so bad at wintergrasp lately. So now I gotta try to find a non suck group before tuesday that can actually do both bosses in voa, gonna be tough. :(

In other news I'm trying to get caught up on tv shows because I was getting really behind. With most stuff being on during the times I have raids I've gotten quite far behind. I finally finished season 3 of Big Love. I wasn't too shocked that Bill tossed Nikki out. He does seem to love the other 2 wives more, not that 1 can blame him really considering the things she does.It was horrible of him that he had sex with her the night before tossing her out though, what a jerk. I was shocked that Nikki has a daughter, I wonder if she will be the new Rhonda of the show, she does seem manipulative already (she lied about having already had a muffin). Speaking of Rhonda, where is she?? Last we saw she was with old pervert in his car headed to Nashville, I wonder if she will be back next season. And is Roman dead? The show won't me the same without him. Also, I noticed that they never showed what happened to Bill after he fell through the floor in the barn, so I'm wondering if everything after that was just Bill dreaming or something. Anyway now I just need to get caught up on Fringe, Brothers and Sisters and Ghost Whisperer, can't wait to see the season finales of those shows.

eharmony rejected me

2009-05-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

Yup. They rejected me. Those bastards. Maybe I should see it as a badge of honor...apparently I'm too unique for them. Anyway I googled "rejected by eharmony"
I found plenty of sites like http://www.blisstree.com/articles/rejected-by-eharmony-45 where people talk about being rejected. Or where in some cases idiots/jerks talk about how they're actually glad eharmony rejects people! Like this one women who said the following:

"I too am glad that eHarmony is being discerning. I am going through a horrible situation along with 4 other women. None of us knew each other prior. This situation was brought to all of our attentions about the same guy we were all in relationship with who we each met online. Two of us met him on eHarmony and 3 of us met him on Match.com. (I met him on both sites at the same time.) eHarmony pulled him right away with one complaint by one woman, but he is still preying on Match.com with now 3 complaints"

UMM hello?? Ok its nice that his profile was pulled by eharmony and match should've done the same but HE GOT APPROVED ON EHARMONY AND NOT REJECTED when he registered with them and took their hour long personality test. Which proves that their test doesn't weed out people like this. Of course maybe its not meant to. It looks more like its meant to weed out anyone depressed, or shy, or non religious. I've also heard eharmony rejects anyone gay but I don't know if thats true or not. I wouldn't doubt it though. The site is run by conservative christains and we all know what they're like.

Also by their own words

"eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process." It sounds like they also weed out anyone unique."

It sounds like anyone unique is also not allowed in. Which means it wouldn't be a good site for me anyway...the kind of guy I'm looking for doesn't fit much of any norms. Oh and "early in the process" wtf...you call telling someone after they finish you retardly long hour+ personality test "early in the process"?? WTF. And they let you continue the stupid thing even if they know after the first page that you'll be rejected. Ridiculous.

Anyway even most of the people that got accepted on eharmony don't like it http://www.edatereview.com/021012displayreviews.aspx So I know I'm not missing out on much. But they should really be forcibly shut down for discrimination.

Jerks In Wow

2009-05-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

So the other night against my better judgement I joined a nax 25 pug already in progress, they had run it the night before and done 2 wings then and were continuing it and needed some more people. (Yes normally I run it with guild but this pug said they would be clearing it and they had already knocked out 2 wings. My guild as I've said before can't clear it) They told me the rules were 1 main and 1 offset loot until everyone else that needed a piece had gotten something. Sounds good to me I said, so I went with them.

They failed however to tell me that people who went on their run last night would get priority if they hadn't yet won anything over those who ran now. The trinket off sapherion dropped. I won it, one of the best trinkets in the game for me so I was excited, but after the loot master said he was looting it to me he didn't right away and after a few minutes it was looted to someone else. I was like wtf I won that and I didn't get a main piece of loot yet why didn't you give it to me. Then he goes well the other guy was here last night and didn't get anything yet so it goes to him. Then another person who also was new and didn't know of that rule either got pissed and was on vent and he was like wtf you should've told me about that rule and thanks for wasting my weekly run. I would've said much the same only I don't have my mic hooked up. They were all like we said the loot rules (they never said that part tho)and if you don't like it leave. Both me and the guy yelling stayed though, why I'm not sure. But we continued on, wiped twice on KT. During a long afk break because some people left and they were replacing I decided to ask the leader if their was anyone who needed the druid/mage/rogue/dk helm and was on yesterdays run and hadn't gotten any loot yet, as I wanted to know if I'd have a fair chance if it dropped. He said that he hadn't and another guy hadn't but he couldn't remember if the other guy was on yesterdays run. I said "well can I roll against you since you failed to explain the loot rules to me before I was saved?" He goes "sorry for not telling you guys, I don't like the rules myself but thats what the guild wants so thats what I do". Then he says "You can roll, but priority will be given to me since I haven't won anything yet and was here both days" (gee dumbass doesn't that defeat the purpose of me rolling). I just said "ok then" then I logged off game and vent. No point in staying if I can't roll on the only thing I really need, though I needed weapon off him too but I doubt I'd have been allowed fair shot at that either. And also according to my friend/guidly in the run the leader was lying and had already used his need roll.

Those jackasses should've let me have just as fair a shot as the ones that went on the run yesterday, how the hell is priority to people that were there the night before fair anyway?? Its not, I was already getting "cheated" by joining a run half done as some bosses that I needed gear off were already dead, not to mention the emblems I lost out on for it. On top of that, since they didn't tell me about this rule they should've changed their damn rules and let me and the other newcomers have the same priority as those that were on the run the night before, it would've been the right thing to do, especially since we wouldn't have come if we had known about this shitty rule.

Maybe it was karma for not running with my guild. In any case I don't think I'll be pugging nax ever again, especially not 25 man. From now on its guild runs or runs with the other guild that lets me tag along sometimes. And actually a guildy got me into the run and he knew the loot rules but said he forgot...I haven't let him know but I'm kinda pissed at him for it too. He should've also had enough brains to know I wouldn't wanna go with those loot rules. Can't trust anybody else in this game really.

Lost

2009-05-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

The season finale of Lost the other night was even more awesome then I expected. But it left me with even more questions. The biggest one being...how will they continue it next season? I think it will continue the way this person says: http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index?pn=mb&cat=33026&tid=640377

I don't think Juliet is dead either, at least I hope not. I used to not be able to stand her character but shes grown alot on me. I hated hated the idea of her and Sawyer together at first, but now I kinda think they're cute together, BUT I still prefer him with Kate. Him and Kate are just more similar and have much more chemistry.

Now as for Juliet, I kind of like the idea of Juliet and Ben actually. But that would never happen, unless maybe it already happened and we see it in flashbacks, but I think thats rather unlikely as well. But It would sure be interesting to see Ben in a relationship, the closest we've seen so far for him is his childhood friendship with that girl Annie, whos doll we saw he kept even as an adult. I wonder if we'll ever find out more about her, it was said before by the producers or something that her and Alex were the 2 most important women in Bens life. And I heard ages ago that we would hear more about Annie, but nothing since then. I wonder if the writers abandoned that storyline. I was gonna say I don't see how it could possibly fit into the story now (if anything I would've expected to see Annie on the island in the 1970s with Ben) but this is Lost so anything can happen.

Now as for Jack well...sorry but I can't really stand the guy still, he can just pine after Kate forever for all I care. Actually its not so much that I dislike him, its that the character of Jack isn't quite as interesting as any of the other main characters in the show.

Anyway, I think next season will most likely start like the post there says, with them all back on the plane in 2005 with their memories intact and landing, not crashing on the lost island. Another way I think it could start is they are thrown into their 2009 bodies with the things that would have happened had they not crashed having happened to them, but them having no memory of those things but rather still their lost island memories. It also could end with them landing and having at first no memories of the crash but later being "reawakened".

Next season is the last season :( I'm gonna miss Lost so much, I swear I'll cry when it goes off the air. I watch several other shows and while I think many of them are awesome, Lost remains far above them all.

I wish I had a kitten

2009-05-10T16:56:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night about kittens. In it I found this litter of 4 cute little kittens and I kept one of them. The one I kept was the cutest of all, he was kinda a calico but also kinda a tabby stripped. His face was orange tabby stripped with some white and with black on the sides which looked so cool and his body had alot of white but also some orange and black. He was adorable...wish I really had a kitten like him.

I have no kittens or cats for that matter :( I still live at home with my mom and shes kinda a bitch about me getting 1. Last cat I had I had since I was 9 years old, she died 2 years ago. Her name was Tiger Lily and she didn't like to cuddle much or be petted much. Though she was kinda nicer towards the last year or 2 of her life(she died of cancer). I joked that she knew the end was coming soon since she was old, so she wanted to make peace with god. I also had gotten 2 after her that died in 2004. Whiskers, he was a black and white cat who was the sweetest cat that ever lived but also loved the outdoors (maybe even more then he loved being petted/cuddled). And the other one was Furby. I miss Furby most of all, she was like a child to me. Furby was grey and white and she looked and acted like a kitten even when she was full grown she still acted very kitten like. She loved to play and she liked to be petted but only by me...she wouldn't let anybody else near her ever. There was also something wrong with her (though she was perfect to me) where she couldn't jump right, her back legs didn't work the way they should've or something. She would fall down the stairs at times because of it. We never could find out what exactly was wrong with her or what caused her death, but she was very sick towards the end, she was barely eating, the vet was no help at all, just said she was anemic and that more tests would cost us, well I forgot the amount they said but it was more then a few hundred and we didn't have it :( I feel guilty to this day over it and angry at my mom too for not having the money...I think what if...maybe she could've been saved. Theres a part of me that thinks she died of a broken heart, because her and Whiskers were very close and he died a few months before her. From what we don't know, he just came home 1 day very sick and he died that night before we could even call the vet or anything :(

But anyway I love cats, they're the best animals ever, and way better then people. I really wish I could have 1 again.

Stupid Aoltv and more wow stuff

2009-05-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

God I hate aol tv listings. I haven't watched the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy yet and last night I was checking tv listings on aols site and on the top I couldn't help but see the ending for thursdays episode because they said what happened in it on the "tvs top moments last night" thing flashing across the top of the screen. Such bullshit do they have to have that there? They should just have a link that says "view last nights top tv moments here" or something so people like me who hadn't watched it yet don't get spoiled, don't those tards realize not everyone watches tv on the tv. I usually have a raid in wow and its hard for me to pay attention to that and my tv(when I try to I find I always miss stuff in the show or my wow suffers and I die from flame walls or something like that) so I don't always watch my favorite shows when they're on, I download them off bittorrent.

Speaking of raids...did heroic nax last night with guild. I feel bad saying this but I kinda wish I had gone and done 25 man uldaur with this other guild instead. Other guild doesn't quite have enough for 25 mans so they find people like me who will run with them, my guild used to only do nax 25 every other week so I ran with this guild the weeks mine didn't run it. They're good, they clear nax 25 and eoe, now they're working on uldaur. Meanwhile the guild I'm in is stuck in nax 25 and even after 2 nights a week, sometimes 3 in there we still can't clear it. Its extremely frustrating and I'm sure most people in my situation would just guild quit and join the other guild. So why don't I? Well I'm not sure really sure. I think part of the reason is that I've had very very bad luck in guilds, most of the ones I've been in ended up being rather cliquish and only inviting me to the 25 mans and making the 10 mans be all the officers and their friends and 5 mans, well in those guilds I'd always have to pug them. Then theres been other problems, such as the officers giving themselves loot first (never trust an officer loot system!), not having enough for even 10 mans, etc. In this guild however I've had none of those or any problems. Everyone is so friendly and I haven't noticed any cliques at all. So I'm reluctant to just /gquit because of a lack of progression. If only I could raid with the other guild while staying in this one....unfortunately they raid at the same exact times. I could just go with the other guild anyway the guild I'm in now is casual and they would let me...but I'd feel like a complete bitch if I did that.

My Net Sucks And So Do People

2009-05-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

My internet was down last night for over 2 hours. Must've been everyones cable internet around here because when I turned the tv on most of the stations were frozen. It was actually pretty funny, I would've probably found it even more funny if I wasn't dead tired and 20 minutes away from going to bed when it happened. I stayed up instead though because I needed to turn my wow dailys in before they reset. Never seen that happen before though lol usually if cables out its off the air, not on the air but frozen. 1 station was frozen on a guy making a touchdown, animal planet was frozen on a closeup of some funny looking bug, was pretty awesome, lol.

Had an annoying conversation today earlier with an online friend. He was saying how he doesn't wanna play wow so much anymore because hes worried if he does he won't be as social then it got to us talking about relationships and people and I said I'd rather be alone then with someone who wasn't near to my perfect match. I said they'd need to be a pessimist for sure and he replies "why would you want to be with a pessimist?" I was like umm because I am one. I said they'd really just need to be a pessimist about people and believe most people are bad, he goes thats not pessimism its cynicalism (don't most people consider them the same, I mean when most people say their pessimists don't they most importantly mean pessimists about people, I always thought so), anyway he goes on to say why would I want to be with someone who was just like me...I'm like well why wouldn't I. I really don't get people who want someone different then them, actually I don't get why anybody would want anybody other then someone who is alot like them. As I said to him most relationships don't last, and I'd rather never be in a relationship then get into one that didn't last forever. Of course like every other sheep out there he says "Most relationships don't last forever." So to that I said "yea because most people are stupid and aren't friends first and don't bother to get to know each other good so they get into relationships with people that aren't compatible with them". Then he went on to say how he knows many people who have very little in common yet are happy together. o_O If he's telling the truth there I really don't know what to think, I mean he's around my age so I'm assuming anyone he knows in a relationship would be around the same age and alot of relationships do last for a few years before the people finally admit they aren't right for each other. Also most people in relationships that aren't happy don't let on how unhappy they are. But anyway I've known and known of alot of people and no one I've ever known has been happy in a relationship for more then a short period of time. Besides that even if they really are happy, that doesn't mean I could ever be happy with someone that wasn't mostly like me, and having people tell me I could be always is so annoying, its like their saying I don't know myself well enough to know what would make me happy. Anyway these kind of convos always annoy me, I wish I could meet someone for once that agreed with me on things like this. Its so annoying to always have people try to convince me I'm wrong and ironically all it ends up doing is proving me right, because I definatly would never want to be in a relationship with someone who would try to convince me that most or even alot of people are good and these kind of convos as annoying as they are would be 100x more annoying if they were coming from someone I was in a relationship with.

Oh that hunter I mentioned in my last entry... they guild quit (thank god!) but before they did they talked to an officer. Today the officer whispers me mentioning it, they said I didn't do anything wrong but I sure felt like they thought I did or why would they whisper me. Anyway they said to please come to an officer next time I have a problem with someone(umm only problem I had with him was his dps sucked). I will because I don't wanna upset the guild, and this is more of a carebear guild then a raiding guild lol. Its retarded that he cried to an officer about it though, rather then owning up and deciding to improve his toon. I hate the attitude he has of "its alright if I suck as long as we get through the run" I can't stand people who get carried in the game like that.

I'm Epic!

2009-05-04T06:19:00.000-07:00

Finally got my epic achievement in world of warcraft yesterday :D The last one I needed and had been needing for weeks was ranged (which since I play a druid means idol). I lost the roll on it, but luckily my guildy who was the only only feral on the run passed it to me because its a dps idol and he's more tanking then dps. Personally I think he passed more so because he remembered the time weeks ago when I passed on the tier 7 legs that dropped since they were a bigger upgrade for him then me.

I also got almost all of the childrens week achievements done now. The school of hard knocks ones weren't nearly as hard as I thought they would be. The ab one I got first, that one was easy, I just ninja capped the stables while my team was fighting, lol. The wsg one...that was funny, a horde was picking up and dropping our flag just to help us get the achievement. <3 that hordy. The eos and av ones provided a bit more difficult but still not too bad. The eos one the first day I tried it there were so many just going in mid to get the flag and I couldn't click it fast enough to grab before the others. And also were jerks who refused to cap the flag just so some of us couldn't get the achievement. So tried it again last night and got it in my first game, was a few others going for the flag early on and lots of horde there at first but towards the end of the game horde had 2 towers and us 2 but we were far behind from only having 1 most of the game. Anyway towards the end alliance tried to get more towers then the 2 we had but we were already so far behind I just went mid since no one else was there and grabbed flag and capped it. The AV one was the one that somewhat sucked, it took me like 5 or 6 games to get it and we only won 1 of those games. So many people were going for towers for the achievement. In the 2nd game I even was capping the tower but horde won before I could finish so took me the 4 or 5 more games to get the achivment :(

I did the "Hail to the King" achievement too. And got a mostly guild run for it. This one guildy who went with me was horrid bad though. I know that sounds mean but listen. He was doing less then 900 dps, and he's a hunter in almost full epics. I mentioned it to him after the run not to be mean or anything but I honestly figured he didn't know how little he was doing, or that maybe he was doing so badly because he forgot something or was experimenting with a new spec or something. I didn't bring it up like "you suck" I said something like "did you know you only did like 900 dps in there?" he said it was because he was playing with a not fully leveled up pet(in a heroic lol) and because he had to go afk a few times and we wouldn't wait(he only went afk like 3 times and not for long enough for it to make his dps be so below the rest of ours). Then he said "don't worry you're not the only guildy to tell me I suck" I never told him he sucks though, just that his dps was below what it should be to run heroics. Anyway that was the end of that or so I thought. But the next day he whisperers me all angry and emo like saying "I was wondering why you felt the need to point out my low dps last night" (I only pointed it out to him). I said what I said last night that it was below what it should be to run heroics and I thought he might want to know so he can figure out how to up it. He got mad and defensive instead and said "what does it matter if we finished the run" and then even tried to tell me that he was doing me a favor by going on the run! The nerve. For 1 he needed the achievement too, for 2 he was dps and dps is easy to find. I asked him why he was getting so upset/defensive and he said "because its not the 1rst, 2nd or even 3rd time I have gone on a run as a favor with a guildy and they have mentioned my dps as being low". I said "Well then no offense but maybe you need to improve then, try a different spec or pet or something, your gear is good enough where you should easily be doing double or even triple the dps you're doing now". He then went on to say "well I could tell you how to improve yours too but I won't do that." To that I was like"......" I couldn't believe him, on the run we went on I went as balance (I normally run as feral) and I know I need to improve on my balance rotations, but still even as balance and not knowing my rotations that well I almost tripled his dps. I pointed out that in our nax 25 runs I'm always top or near top dps and hes bottom. He then said "I wasn't last, and they still let me go to nax with my dps being what it is" Now maybe he wasn't bottom (my meter only records the top 10, but I do know he was under the main tank, because the main tank was number 10 on my meter, if he wasn't last he still wasn't doing well. And the others below the main tank at least were all undergeared(we have wayyyyyy too many undergeared people in this guild...but thats a rant for another time). As if them taking him on the run means anything though, this guild takes anyone whos online and signed up for it. Thankfully they don't just take anyone for the uldaur runs, not that we get far in there anyway. Anyway I was only trying to help him because like I said I figured he honestly didn't know how low his dps was. But he had to have a fit about it, he even said "don't worry I won't volunteer to go on any runs with you again" After enough crap from him I said to him "well don't you want to contribute and not get carried by everyone". He kept saying how I shouldn't have told him his dps was low blah blah blah so I finally said "ok I'm sorry, I thought you didn't know and would want to improve, I know if I was doing such low dps I'd want to know, but I guess I was wrong, I won't mention it again".

Anyway other then that not much going on with me. Made another new online friend. I've been making quite a few online friends lately, mostly through a forum I go to. Hopefully some of them will actually last. Guess if I keep people at a distance it might work because then I won't be as upset and cut them off when I find out their lying to me or something. There was a post on the forum I go to recently that got me thinking though...it asked if we'd rather the forum was public or private. And I know I'd rather it was a private forum then public like most of it is now. Reason being as you can probably tell, I'm a very open person, I've mistakenly given the forum link to people years ago who I though I would be friends with forever or at least wouldn't end up being jerks. Anyway now I'm somewhat worried that 1 or more of those people may be going to the forum and reading my posts. I don't think I'm being paranoid either because it happened in the past to me not once or twice but a few times. 1 of the last people I gave the link to was Josh and he logged in on the site a few days after we stopped being friends. Anyway even if he or Rich or anyone else I used to know reads my posts I guess it doesn't really matter too much, only thing is I don't want any of them knowing I'm still hurt by them.

world of warcraft noble garden holiday

2009-04-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

Woot I finally am done with all the noblegarden achievements. I would've been done alot sooner but it seems my world of warcraft luck is just as bad as my luck in life. It took me forever to get the damn rabbit pet I needed for the one achievement...actually I never got it, I had to buy it with 100 chocolates. Also had to eat 100 chocolates for another achievement...so that was over 200 eggs I had to open total, took several hours for me. The first 2 days there were sooooo many people there camping the towns where the eggs spawned, thankfully yesterday there were less and today even less, made it alot faster. Kind of annoying though, everyone else I know was able to get the pet from an egg drop. Reminds me of the valentines day pet I wanted so badly(I'm a pet collecter) but never got. Ah well, least on the bright side everything else dropped for me from the eggs so I didn't need to get even more chocolates to buy stuff from the noblegarden vender.

Now for the next holiday, childrens week. Starting at midnight even before noblegarden ends lol. Noblegarden ends the day after it I think. Kind of annoying they have 2 holiday events so close together, but I guess next year it will probably be different. Noblegarden was supposed to be during easter but they failed at getting it ready in time. Anyway noblegarden will probably be easy compared to childrens week, the battleground achievements are gonna not only suck to get done because so many will be trying to do them(if you dont have good latancy or aren't super fast good luck returning that flag for the achievement),but they'll also make everyone act like noobs in the battlegrounds trying only to get their achievement done. Not to mention the bugs that I'm not sure they fixed with the daily quests. I swear, if my daily chores achievement gets reset when I'm 4/5 with it I'll scream.

Introduction And Hi

2009-04-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hi. I made this diary in hopes that it would help fill the void of having no close friends. I often have things I want to rant about and the only people I have to rant to are online friends...none of which I'm close to. And sometimes I even have things I'm excited about :P

Anyway I suppose I should give some kind of intro because if you didn't think "boring" and automatically stop reading when I said the no close friends part you might actually be cool enough to deserve to know more about me :P Anyway what to say...I'm in my 20s and female, I live in the US. Thats pretty vague, I suppose part of me is worried about getting recognized on here...why I'm not sure, I honestly wouldn't care too much if I ended up typing my deepest thoughts here (edit: looks like I did do just that!) and someone I knew found it, I'm a pretty open person. Well I suppose I wouldn't want one of my enemys (and I have alot of those!) to find it and know I'm still hurt by them. But meh.

Why no close friends you're probably wondering...well I have this thing called social anxiety...but thats not really the reason. I've had bad luck with people. Everyone I've ever been close friends with and everyone I've ever been in a relationship with has ended up being either 1. a cheater 2. an insenstive jerk or 3. a compulsive liar. Alot of people with SA or who know of SA say that its irrational...well maybe for some of them it is...but for me my SA isn't irrational. Anyway my last 2 close friendships were both online and both ended very badly. I'm not sure which ended worse. The first 1 was with a guy named Rich and ended in January when I found out that his brother was reading just about everything we said to each other :( If that wasn't bad enough his asshole brother made a post on a forum about me talking bad about me saying I was a horrible player (we met on world of warcraft). I was confused as to why this person I didn't know (he posted it under a fake name) had so much venom towards me. So I looked at his guild tab and saw that he was in the same guild as the brother. I then asked Rich about it if that was his brother, he denied it non stop, even when I confronted him about well their in the same guild he still denied it was his brother. So then I googled the sig (it was a link of something with some words) and the sig came up in other posts under char names that I knew for a fact were his brother because I used to be friends with his brother too till he switched to horde. It was only then with undeniable proof that Rich finally confessed that yes that was his brother...but was he sorry for lying and telling me it wasn't or even sorry for what his brother said.........NO. Instead of apoligizing he blew it off as no big deal. That was the end of that friendship there. We haven't spoken since. And when we run into each other in Wow we pretend not to know each other. There was admitadly alot of other problems with that friendship as well, 1 being we had feelings for each other(at least I did...him I'm not so sure tho he claimed to) he had problems with me not working. He was far from understanding about my SA though he himself was shy. Anyway he kept saying he wanted us to be together but his parents would never let him travel that far. And he was 23. :/ I guess I just wasn't important enough for him to go against his parents.

The other one ended just as badly if not worse a little over a month ago. This guys name was Josh. I thought he was the only person who ever accepted me as I was without trying to change me. But he just ended up being the biggest fake ever. I found out he was lying about just about everything. I'm sure now he accepted me because he wasn't ever looking for anything close to a friend, he was looking for someone to dump on and abuse. He even threatened at times to kill himself if I wouldn't talk to him when I got upset with him. I caught him in lies alot of times. He lied about everything....from what kind of music he liked to how many friends he had to even whether he played world of warcraft or not. He said he didn't play it and hadn't in years but I found out he was playing it all along. 70% of our convos were him QQing. Mostly about this girl who he claimed wouldn't give him a chance as a bf. He never met her in person either. I know now though that even that (her not giving him a chance ever) was a lie. I hacked into his email when I caught him in lies and found out he was lying about alot more. Like he had other friends and he was telling them all the very same thing he told me, that they were his only friend and he didn't know what he would do without them, etc. Anyway from the emails I could tell that she did like him at one time. She just lost interest, probably because she found out what he was really like. I mean christ he knew her for over 5 years and was promising to visit her and even gave specific date he would come at least once and he never did. If I was her I would've lost interest too. The other 30% of our convos were good though I must admit. I've met very few people I could talk with as well. Probably because I mostly talk to introverts and he was really an extrovert pretending to be an introvert. Anyway after I hacked in I wrote him some pissed off emails and he deleted me from msn lol. Just like Rich and everyone else did. Seems no one ever just blocks me...they always end up hating me so much they don't even wanna see my name there so they just delete me. Thats fine with me though I wouldn't have talked to him or Rich again anyway, I'd rather have no friends at all then friends like that.

Anyway as badly as both of those friendships hurt me...none compares to the hurt I experienced in 2005. The first half of 2005 was good for me but the 2nd half...well to say it sucked would be putting it mildly. The only worse time for me was probably when I was 12-14 and having to go to school and get bullied non stop. But anyway 2005 was the year I just couldn't take my best friend at the time lying to me anymore. We were best friends from the ages of 7-12 then drifted apart(to this day I don't remember why which drives me crazy sometimes) then we got back in touch when we were 18 and became just as close as we were when we were kids. Things were great for about 3 years then he started making up this fake person called Julie. He claimed that he knew her as a teen and they were close friends but she moved to flordia. He even claimed all kinds of crazy stuff like she had 2 kids (twins) that might be his but he never slept with her, it was the turkey baster. I'm serious, he actually said that. Anyway she sounded so crazy I didn't think she could be real. But I didn't have much proof at first. When I knew for sure was when "she" started cutting in on my phone convos with him, I actually heard "her" he claimed she was hacking into it. I know it had to have been him throwing his voice though. Other things that tipped me off to her not being real are, once I got suspicious I started keeping track of the times she was online checking her hotornot and stuff and the times he was on, it was always within 10-20 minutes of each other. I also suspect he was pretending to be another person online too, a guy, but I won't get into that. Anyway once "she" posted in a forum I visit that was it for me. I got pissed off and got revenge on him for it and that was the end of a pretty much life long friendship. It wasn't until years later that I found out where the Julie pics came from either...actually Josh found that out for me I guess it takes a liar to know about one lol. They were all of a certain model, a former penthouse pet of the year too at that. I can't believe I didn't find that out sooner, I feel so stupid when I think about it because she wasn't some obscure model at all.

Also in 2005 my last offical online relationship ended. Things were going so good in the begining of it, I felt like we'd be together forever. But he changed on me and started treating me like crap. I'd catch him in lies alot of times and he had alot of female friends...1 girl he even stayed over at her house for the weekend. I felt that was very inappropraite but when I told him I didn't like it he turned it all around to make me the problem saying how would I know whats appropriate for friends to do since I only have 1 friend, etc. It was also the same friend who after 2 months of us being together I asked him who was more important cause I was feeling insecure and he replied "I dunno". I'm sure most people won't agree with me(which is why they wont ever have a relationship that lasts ;) but I think if you don't know whos more important your girlfriend or your close friend, then you should either 1. break up with your girlfriend and persure something with your friend or 2. break off your friendship to give your relationship a fair chance. Anyway she wasn't the only problem. He also had a close online friend in wow and he preferred to play with her over me. I tried so hard to get him to play with me but he never would even gave me a chance. Oh once he did when she went away for the weekend. And I'd almost wished he didn't, he did nothing but criticize me and how I played. Anyway I broke up with him because of him always preferring his friends over me.

I've had alot more people in my life that have hurt me too....my asshole of a father walked out on me when I was 7 and never even tried to be in my life. Had a neighbor growing up that made up stories about me and several other kids in the neighborhood being abused and also falsly accused me of scratching her car. Have a half sister (dads side) who I was never that close to but got in touch with me back in 2001. We had a falling out in 2003 when my favorite band at the time (Jesus Jones) had a club gig. I was so looking forward to it and planning to go with her. She canceled on me because our uncle died. It wasn't even the day of the funeral. She just didn't want to leave our fucking aunt alone. The aunt who never tried to get to know me, like all of their family. She chose them over me and to this day I've not been able to forgive her for it, after that our relationship was never the same. I haven't even seen her in person since that day, and after that I hacked into her email and never emailed her again till years later when she contacted me on myspace. I wonder if she knows I hacked her lol. I even wrote one of her friends an email saying I had just had the mose amazing 1 night stand. LOL. Anyway when I heard from her years later on myspace we got back in touch. All we do really is email or IM, it used to be more frequent but now I'm lucky to hear from her once a month. Our last convo was a few weeks ago I think, I don't remember exactly how long ago. But it ended with me mentioning our asshole father and how he had found out where me and my mom live. Then she goes "tell your mom I said hi" and she just logs off msn. I'm thinking maybe I should just cut her off. But I think what I'll do is since shes engaged (which I only know for sure from checking her myspace) is whenever she mentions me being in her wedding(which she said like 2 months ago she would really like me to be a part of it..which is probably a lie but might be true) I'll just log off without saying a word. It will be nice revenge :D

Speaking of that...revenge...I've gotten revenge on all of the above people...and despite what all the sheep say it isn't harmful to me. In fact I always find it very healing...fun too. Some very stupid people say that "an eye for an eye and you're both blind" well I just don't get that...I mean if someone made me blind I'd definatly want them to be blind too in return, why wouldn't I? I'll admit I'm a very vengeful person, but I don't think thats a bad thing...if anything I'm proud of it. I like that I don't let people get away with hurting me...it makes me feel good about myself.

Anyway if you've read this far...I bet you haven't and I'm talking to myself now...LOL. But if you have I'll tell you a bit more about me. My personality type is ISFP if you know what that means. I can be the nicest person in the world if I like you...but if I dislike you...watch out I can be the biggest bitch ever. I'm pretty silly at times. I'm very non judgemental mostly. And if I have a negative opinion on something a friend does in their life I never tell them. I always make sure to say "sorry to hear that" if something bad happens to a friend and offer a sympathatic ear. I hate when people don't do the same for me. I'm a huge pessimist (pessimists are the true realists) and a big cynic. I think most people are bad. I don't like to be friends with optimists or even non pessimists because I find them annoying, and they always try to change me or tell me "everyone isn't like that". I feel like saying to them "well since I've never met a nice person why would I believe they exist, should I also believe in Santa then?"

I don't work, mostly as a result of my SA. Actually I haven't left the house in over 6 months. I'm on SSI for my SA and I still live at home, with my mom. She used to bug me all the time to get a job or go back to school but thankfully she hasn't in years. Think she finally understands, maybe. I'm honestly not doing anything to overcome my SA, since I consider it to be rational, I know if I got over my SA I'd just open myself up to be hurt by people even more. I'd probably honestly still be very unambitious even without the SA though. My laziness is probably my biggest fault :P Well that or my openess...but that I don't really consider a fault.

I'm a nonsmoker and I can't stand being around people that smoke. I think its quite rude to light up near someone. I've even had cab drivers light up on me. Thankfully when I ask (which is hard for me cause I have SA) they always put it out. Except this 1 years ago he was a huge jerk...said that when I call I should request a no smoking cab. All I did was ask him to put it out...I think I even said please.

Lets see...what else...I like cats. I don't have any though sadly. The last 1 I had died about a little over a year ago, I had her since I was 9 years old. I had 2 other ones too since a child they both died in 2004 within months of each other. I think they died so close to each other because they were soulmates :) They certainly were very close. Whiskers was already a few years old when I got Furby, yet they played like kittens together, he used to clean her too it was sooo cute. They continued to play into adulthood too. Some people say animals can't love...but well I think if they saw those 2 they'd have disagreed!

I have a huge interest in the paranormal (especially aliens/ufos). I definatly think we've been visited and that some people really do get abducted by aliens. I believe quite strongly in reincarnation. My other interests are tv(I'm a huge tv addict), alternative rock (my favorite band is The Killers...their amazing every song of theirs is awesome. And my biggest interest is world of warcraft (which my ex got me into...guess I got 1 good thing out of that jerk...lol). I have a level 80 druid with nearly 6000 achievment points. I have a few alts, but none I really play anymore. I'm addcited to wow and my druid both :P

Alright I think thats it for now :) I might write more later, probably a rant or something :P